Jack Monroe #235 Goggleslop

[Shawads]

Hny you wonderful bunch of mendacious ninnies.
Have finally caught up in real time and must extend my thanks to jack for special Nye chaos , the Mua pleather build up was spectacular, the hair styles and colours plural, the cheese sauce monstrosity the all night EastEnders , the cleaning and tree dismantling with wonderment which metamorphosed fast into furious hoovering interspersed with a wee bit of norn oirish cuteness topped off with a marauder in the garage, possibly stealing a saucepan and no mention of the garage rabbit.
And then a completely disconnected trainspotting rant about sobriety.

Wholly and 100% bizarre.

And herein we find ourselves, welcoming in the new year, y22k, yj1g, I can't get my head around the new numbers.
Needless to say I am ready for the next installment, waiting with a mix of guilt, shame, fascination, sadness and mild hysteria.

 

[EddieBeds]

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They’ve got confused with a sample for the Dr’s or misread the Bristol sticky brown poo competition right???

Happy New Year Frauen and Herren - you make this murky corner of the internet rather splendid.

 

[Charitas]

Dear Gods, beginning to think Jack has never encountered/ socialised with anyone who doesn't drink for anything other than addiction based reasons. Is everyone atheist or C of E in Southend?. I once tried to organise a world Christmas do, making sure to book somewhere everyone would feel comfortable going and one woman complained that she wouldn't be able to smoke at the table between courses, Jack reminds me of her. Luckily she stopped speaking to me as when she asked me to go and sort a client out who was playing with himself I solved the problem by shutting his bedroom door and reminding her he was entitled to privacy and a sexlife

 

[PunkyMonkey]

Who would label prepped meals like that?

It's not JM soup, that implies it's made from JM.
You label dates, ingredients, allergens etc. The squigs are all so bloody strange!

Gotta mention btw that "whelk" is my top new insult. Nephew has implemented a swear jar so I've been forced to get creative with my language and animals are featuring strongly, whelk is perfect.

 

[Django]

FIFY, poor squig.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I've been in bed since half 9 too - having a lovely grunk across multiple threads!
(Currently trying to decide if I have the mental strength to catch up on the Alice Evans thread )
Happy New Year to all - I've raised my small glass of single malt in your honour.

That one does me in!!

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Happy New Year cabal, thanks for all the laughs and support over the past year, you lot really cheer me up when I'm having a bad one and this thread is genuinely hilarious, so cheers

edit: I notice we've got quite a few new members joining us recently which is cool, so hello to all of them too

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

They’ve got confused with a sample for the Dr’s or misread the Bristol sticky brown poo competition right???

Happy New Year Frauen and Herren - you make this murky corner of the internet rather splendid.

Just to say I love your name ….My dog is called Eddie and I call him EddieBeds ……. Not sure if that came before I saw your name or not !

So in amongst all the stuff and nonsense yesterday…. Also mingled in with drama in my house in the form of a positive Covid test and all that entails in terms of rearranging stuff and work etc …… WHY does our Jack keep mentioning “that nasty corner of the internet” or whatever she calls us….. like why keep referring to Tattle time and time again? All she does it make people curious. It’s just downright WEIRD. In my humble opinion m’lord. When are we going to court ?

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Day 7 LFT was so swiftly and strongly positive it was practically shouting "YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE MISSIE!"

 

[Veronicaaa]

Morning everyone! I always find it quite good for morale when I see posts like this in the wild, from someone who I'm fairly sure would have no involvement in or knowledge of tattle. It means we're not the only ones to see it, and that people can come to their conclusions about Jack independently.

 

[ecdb]

Who would label prepped meals like that?

Someone who wants a mention from a ‘famous person’ on Twitter. No other reason to label it with her name.
soup/inedible slop would have been suffice, FFS.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Go on Squiggle, get her told

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Morning everyone! I always find it quite good for morale when I see posts like this in the wild, from someone who I'm fairly sure would have no involvement in or knowledge of tattle. It means we're not the only ones to see it, and that people can come to their conclusions about Jack independently.

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But this is the big problem/our beef isn’t it - the squig is right you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone under normal circumstances. When you start to monetise characteristics that aren’t actually true (WC, various ailments, etc) or you start tip jar rattling then you open yourself up to commentary? And rightly so - how dangerous is allowing people to act as representatives or activists for communities without any form of reproach or growth?!

It is so much easier to live an honest life, her problem is it’s no where near as profitable. And we’ll all be here until the grift is no longer tenable, whenever that may be. Think our next Patreon drop day will be the 4th btw cos of bank holidays.

 

[Veronicaaa]

"Please tell me where you are and how this happens with adults"

 

[PsychicCaramel]

Good grief - I'm sure there are Icelandic sagas with less drama than this one......also, who the F moans about J20???? A nice fruity drink?

Probably too common for her middle class sensibilities

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Happy new year everyone and congratulations to Jack for now being officially overdue with two sets of company accounts.

Good way to start the New Year

 

[PinkMariner]

HNY to you all!

Nice to see Jack kept us all amused while the telly was it’s usual boring shite last night!

Just popped in to query why she’s moving and cataloguing what’s been “stolen” before calling the po-po? Messing with the evidence Jackie! Come on- anyone who has watched half a second a crime drama knows not to touch anything before forensics have sprinkled their talcum powder all over the place!!

Some may say it’s convenient any evidence will have been messed up. Not me tho, I don’t have a suitable court outfit so wouldn’t dare!!

 

[Mr Krabs]

I don’t know what it’s like in Southend, but apparently the police were so understaffed in my area that they stopped going out to burglaries for a while. They just gave people crime numbers. These were house burglaries too, not inexplicable garage burglaries.

 

[Wooh]

Normalise the normalising, you absolute melts

 

[Veronicaaa]