Jack Monroe #225 The squit has hit the pan

[Marmalade Atkins]

Jack did this positivity/gratitude/best behaviour thing during the Del Monte partnership, so this current phase should end around the same time as the current Netflix/Bristol Sport Foundation deal.

 

[MooBelle]

That is unspeakable. Is it really real?

Sadly yes.
They had it on This Morning and they refused to eat it.

My daughters are 13 and 15 they are adult sized but shorter, probably about the size of Jack. First they would not be seen dead wearing something from the ASDA kids section because the clothes are not cool (it’s apparently cool to wear things off shien that do not fit). If I wore something from the ASDA kids section and posted it on the Internet they would literally die.

Spoiler: Booze chat

I’ve had to stop drinking for medical reasons, no issues but omg, people don’t like it do they? This week so many people have told me I should just drink a bit to be more fun, including my physiotherapist and the surgeon who is fixing my back, and some mums I met for the first time today. Massive solidarity with people having these conversations for years. (I am fine just paying for the stupid expat party lifestyle with terrible cholesterol and liver function and blood pressure)

It's like when she wore the t-shirt he refused to wear and she did that stupid pointing at the slogan pose.
It only happened because she bought it for him and he was too embarrassed to wear it. Probably the same with this top too. It's just too babyish for a y7 to wear.
My youngest is 15 and she would probably consider it against her human rights to wear something from the kids section at Asda.
Now, cheap tat from Primani, she'd bite my hand off!!!

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

What’s going on with her ear?

 

[Ellabella]

It's the Tippex white of the eyes that gets me every time. That's not a bleeping sunbeam shining on you Jack that does that. Who falls for this rubbish?!

What’s going on with her ear?

Has she blurred out a little jellyfish wearing a bow?

 

[BlendedSlop]

It's just...so embarrassing. The constant, constant need to upload selfies and be told she looks fabulous. The Facetune is off the scale, you can always tell when she's gone overboard with it because her earrings get obliterated in the process, and those are her fantasy teeth. She's obviously made shopping in the kids section her new thing which is all kinds of red flag material. Seek help Jack.

And the weird th*nspo stuff is almost always preceded or followed by talk of eating entire loaves of bread/packets of biscuits/a new slop that was so delicious there's already none left because she devoured the entire thing straight from the pan.

It's dangerously irresponsible and her months of therapy have seemingly done nothing to address it.

 

[BananaSmith]

Carole Jo Malone is AWAY.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Nicola Sturgeon stood up for Godley and said to forgive her which shocked me, I have no idea how JG has reached the status of national treasure in Scotland. I don't think she will be cancelled but she won't be getting the big gigs like the Scottish government adverts or the National Theatre shows.

I actually met JG once and had a good chat with her. It was after a gig where she was support and we were both waiting for a taxi outside. She was actually pretty nice and friendly. She does have some good qualities as well as the racism and unionist baiting.

To be fair Janey does have an actually horrific background - not excusing her being racist - but with her life story it’s no surprise she’d have mental health issues and or a personality disorder. I don’t give her a free pass but I do think “well she’s still living”.

 

[Captainmouse]

What’s going on with her ear?

Facetune

 

[HotesTilaire]

I thought the aparthotel thing was months of help?

She cured now. Didn’t you know? The light came back on in her eyes (and the legal chaos subsided)

 

[Captainmouse]

To be fair Janey does have an actually horrific background - not excusing her being racist - but with her life story it’s no surprise she’d have mental health issues and or a personality disorder. I don’t give her a free pass but I do think, we she’s still living.

I obviously have no clue who she is, I assumed it was Jonathan woss' wife

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

And she tries to say she hasn’t had any filler in her lips. From….

To today’s selfie..

Someone needs to put the white pen away. Those are not her teeth.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I obviously have no clue who she is, I assumed it was Jonathan woss' wife

Janey Godley has her own thread
Jane Goldman is a whole other kettle du sardines

 

[Captainmouse]

Janey Godley has her own thread
Jane Goldman is a whole other kettle du sardines

Not sure I can cope with another thread, I’ve dipped into a few, but this is definitely the bestest. The others are either deadly dull or they have punch ups

 

[Marj24]

And she tries to say she hasn’t had any filler in her lips. From….

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To today’s selfie..

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Someone needs to put the white pen away. Those are not her teeth.

Wow! The most recent photo is particularly scary

 

[HotesTilaire]

Does Jack know you’re allowed to smile with your mouth closed and no teeth on display?

 

[Ninch55]

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No you’re not.

 

[Captainmouse]

Does Jack know you’re allowed to smile with your mouth closed and no teeth on display?

Does mackie know putting bleach in your eyes is not recommended?

 

[BananaSmith]

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By the looks of it Jack is grateful for face tune and lip fillers.

 

[Ninch55]

Vlad’s selling tickets, guys.

 

[Lanie]

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Erm... I am grateful for no slop pics.

Ooh, snap, that was my immediate shady thought too. Hooting and fizzing here!

Also, the face tuning on these "photos" is off the charts. You can see where she's diced and sliced and corrected everything. She might as well just upload a drawing of herself, like Jane Gammons.

Thus, I am thankful that I can upload a selfie without face tuning the holy duck out of it and not rely on validation from complete strangers.

I actually thought she had wiped her eye shadow off and missed bits.