Jack Monroe #219 Why you sob? Russell Hobb

[BeautifulTrauma]

Please, someone. Do it. I beg you.

I will do it. I’ll check the ingredients and attempt it when I get home…

 

[Atruck]

The way the concoctions are described, there's always this particular structure that gets me.
They start of with the introduction of an accessible idea of a quick and delicious meal with achievable plausible maybe even appealing ingredients*, but then comes a drastic interjection of a disgusting improbable and inconceivable element like some sludge something's nestled in or globs, then theres a breathless recollection of a heptathlon of involved cooking methods and processes- say including pickling, frying, whisking, finely dicing, aerosol spraying. And then after all that there's a tiny patch of obliterated food on a saucer overshadowed by archeological cutlery to show for all of it.
I'm so drawn to food writing I can't help imagining as I read it, and Jack's descriptions are a juddering disorienting experience.

*admitting here I'm more partial than most to tinned fish- sorry I think somehow I make this disclosure every other post

 

[MooBelle]

Trifle Defender uncannily prescient again here!

View attachment 851584

Mommy has asked if she can 'borrow ' a recipe of TD's in a tweet just under this one.
Jack would be furious but she won't be able to see it as TD has blocked her.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I got a new phone and I have face app on it. Using the free stuff I made myself up to look like someone else it was quite alarming.

Why would she do this?!

She’s a vain narcissist with an unstable sense of self, who can’t cook, addicted to internet likes?

 

[hollowhusk]

Helluva lot of sugar! Prunes and apple sauce and sugar.

My forensic autistic brain had to jump into action here.

There's 74g of sugar in a can of Mel Donte prunes (including juice), 75g sugar, 18g in the applesauce, 10.2g in the yoghurt, 1g in the flour so 179g of sugar.

The flour has 124g of carbs and I'm not going to make my brain hurt even more by checking the carbs in everything else but it is definitely not diabetes friendly.

I hate my fucking brain sometimes.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

One singular crispy anchovy does not make a meal.

As a young person in the 90s and 00s I was exposed to a lot of unsettling body imagery and disordered eating, like Beyoncé cayenne pepper syrup cleanse and this all looks very odd. Training in nutrition as well…

Spoiler: Explanation for nutrition course

This is pure speculation on my part, but in the same way that those with ED spend hours baking for others and watching food programmes as a way to being in control while others eat, the course on nutrition may be a further sign of this. It could be a way for someone who is in the midst of a phase of disordered eating further exert control by finding a way to excuse their behaviour to everyone around them because now they have “science and knowledge” on their side.

Furthermore, excessive use of low-calorie condiments (vinegar, chillies, hot-sauce, lemon juice, pepper), is a well known sign that someone is suffering from an ED as it allows them to eat larger quantities of low-calorie food that will fill them up (such as lettuce).

Of course she may know all this and be doing it as a trigger.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

You’re telling me these are the same person? No fucking way.

 

[Satisfying Click]

This live cookalong is giving me anxiety

 

[EddieBeds]

While infuriating, I do find some of the bare faced lies so laughable. Jack knows we have the receipts, jeez even This Morning have the receipts on their website that show she (nearly) set nothing on fire, other than metaphorically the last dregs of her TV career.

Spoiler: Kettles

Are we doing kettles now in lieu of counting teeth and chairs?

I was a Breville babe but after it fused the kitchen (and needed to replace the wall socket) I now have a cheap Argos one but it has a dodgy lid so now in kettle limbo but will be sure to dodge (the) Russell Hobbs.

 

[Silver Linings]

Just getting the falafels in.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

View attachment 848796
Just getting the falafels in.

Omg just put the leftover cranberry on a buttie with the leftover brie for fuck’s saaaaaaaaaake!

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Guys, drier than the Sahara this morning…

(Oh and my Nana commented despite being in the oven 40 minutes, it definitely wasn’t cooked on the inside)

To be fair I feel sorry for her lad, going in the kitchen in the middle of the night for a snack, thinking this is chocolate cake and ending up running back and forth from the toilet for the rest of the night.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

I’ve currently got COVID and that cake makes me grateful for my temporary loss of taste.

 

[Emmapism]

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I concur, Trifley D's account is fab. I adore the confirmation that at least one person in the 'industry' has seen the pink light when it comes to Jack, and she wasn't afraid to say it either. She also politely called her out over the Long Covid after 3 days too which was just . I LOVE that she has so much interaction with Mom, too. Must really grind Jack's beanz.

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

I am astounded, (astounded I say!) at the sheer number of kettles she has owned. I’ve had three in my whole life! Like everyone else, when they break I boil water in a (gasp) saucepan

And shame on bloody Russell Hobbs. I’m so disgusted with their craven suck-upinness.

PS: off topic - I just want to wave at @MancBee as I’m in Manchester visiting my DS1. I passed some bees (I love the decorative bees on signs and buildings and whatnot) and thought of our Bee!

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

@heretoreaditall2019 As another person on the recovery road (6 years) you are absolutely spot on in your reading of her.
Thank you for your skill in saying it.

 

[kachoochoo]

"could you use tinned pears instead?"

"yep"

like she's actually tested it properly! I am in hysterics tonight!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Must be so infuriating for someone like Jack.

She doesn’t give a shit. She really doesn’t care about anyone but herself, like there’s been times I’ve thought oh maybe I shouldn’t have divulged so much on here and I do double check comments on AA to make sure it’s in line with traditions/yellow card (and I also flag that there’s no such thing as a universally held opinion, ask 100 ppl you’ll get 100 answers) and she’s out here telling young women that if you attend a meeting you’ll be groped.

It’s infuriating that she continues to use AA as yet another woe is me prop, she’s already done damage at the level of national press like when is enough enough for her with this topic? Her appetite for self pity & grifting is seemingly insatiable.

Also that salad was vile what’s wrong with a dash of fresh lemon juice and a bit of salt on some tomatoes? Heaven!

 

[MancBee]

Is she soaking it out of the tin?

That's not coming out of that tin, no way, no how.