Boyo
VIP Member
Maybe “Phwoar” and “Ooooo” are the sounds they make whilst vomiting?
- Notice
MarzBarzie
Well-known member
Bravo! That’s the finest traybake there ever was... why not pop a sardine on the side?
Took it to bed and devoured the lot, but also had it cold for breakfast. What??Go on, go on, go on.
I double-dare you to make this, it includes helpful tips on how to not stab yourself.
Mushroom Rogan Josh, 31p
Last night I fancied a curry, a nice hot curry to warm the very cockles of my draughty flat, but like so many evenings of the dreaded ‘cooking for one’, I just couldn’t decide what curry to have. I…cookingonabootstrap.com
Shesaidwhat?
VIP Member
If anyone was having a bad day the last book I’d suggest is a Jack Monroe recipe book coupled up with the inane ramblings of Matt Haig.
traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
Yes dear heart, a very powerful sunbeam that has a suspiciously similar effect to adjusting the colour temperature in photoshop but it's not that. It may also have something to do with the fact I have taken to wearing a pink curtain like a cape when I go off on my jaunts but that's largely for my own benefit, I don't think it has any impact on my immediate surroundings.
heretoreaditall2019
VIP Member
God the food banks would be lucky to get a penny off her, she can’t even be fucked to pay taxes.Ok, which one of you wrote this comment on the Good Food Facebook page ?View attachment 850440
some people need to be sent here! ....only pays herself the living wage
Also fuck off with the performative texts as tweets, mortified for her. Please stop bringing young children into your content, you’re a ghoul
Shesaidwhat?
VIP Member
Fraus I’m not saying Jack is lying but I tried to recreate putting my palm through my not RH not boiled kettle and my kettle just moved back.
Is it because glass can with stand holding boiled water but not the soft fleshy palm of some one who can bench press the queen?
Is it because glass can with stand holding boiled water but not the soft fleshy palm of some one who can bench press the queen?
MancBee
VIP Member
Using the sardines as a comparator, that plate/bowl is tiny. It is not a serving for an adult, even if you could find one that would eat it.
Once again with the 34p per serving. Where can I buy 2 sardines, 1 stick of celery, one serving of pasta, etc. etc. That sort of pricing is good enough for the smol lil pixie, but not any other food writer.
HotesTilaire
VIP Member
No diwali or Bommy night hats, American website innit
Call CPS
Call CPS
kachoochoo
VIP Member
'my recipe isn't published until early December'
good one jack, it's going on the list
Silver Linings
VIP Member
Flivver
VIP Member
Fahrenheit 106 was allegedly her temperature when she had Covid. The most Covidy Covid that anyone has ever had.
Whilst in the grip of the virus, she went to the chippy for a chippy tea and the paper shop to buy multiple copies of the Daily Express. Anyone new to this thread would think us mithering ninny bullies made this lot up. No, dear readers - the receipts are here in these threads.
Whilst in the grip of the virus, she went to the chippy for a chippy tea and the paper shop to buy multiple copies of the Daily Express. Anyone new to this thread would think us mithering ninny bullies made this lot up. No, dear readers - the receipts are here in these threads.
BeautifulTrauma
VIP Member
Isn’t this just proof that she isn’t even on a Grunka? She is live keeping up, we talk about portion sizes and here we go. If that fork is a normal fork, I reckon the size of that portion length wise is about 2.5 (at a push) inches. That is actual fairy dust for a meal.
I have never heard of any chef who is one and done like she is
It’s getting ridiculous now like steeping food in their own juices. She just has this way of making food sound so unappealing.
I have never heard of any chef who is one and done like she is
It’s getting ridiculous now like steeping food in their own juices. She just has this way of making food sound so unappealing.
BeautifulTrauma
VIP Member
I followed it to the letter. 40 minutes. The kitchen stank of something that was meant to be cake but didn’t smell quite right, she definitely did not taste that fucking shit on a spoon before posting it.
I would die to see her post a slab of that shite to her Twitter followers, they obviously need to see sense and prune cake should sort that out.
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
Is she soaking it out of the tin?
colouredlines
VIP Member
Jack's recipe features the line:I know you all love eggs, so here we check the Times of India's recipe for Chettinad (South Indian) Egg Curry versus Jack Monroe's South Indian Inspired Egg Curry
First we have to wade through assurance that Jack's HOMETOWN is Southend on Sea, and she dines out many times in it. Presumably all the locals clap
She is at pains to point out that she's only BASING her recipe on the local Southend on Sea South Indian restaurant's recipe. Since their recipe is probably adapted for local English tastes, Jack keeping the "basenotes" without straying too far from that recipe takes the bus in a different direction from anything authentic, but that's okay because she's going to explain that!
You place eggs in already boiling water
The $£energy you lose there is returned to you when you again start the oil and spices and onion in the coldest pan possible. (I recommend placing the pan in the snow for a while for maximum benefit)
The Times of India recipe doesn't use onion, by the way, but another verbose blogger does (along with coconut milk like Jack and lots of exclamation marks)
Earnest Jack tells us x 10 that cultural appropriation may be bad, but too complex for now. Jack will write an essay on this another time because it's out of her usual jurisdiction of poverty and austerity, and proceeds to add a teaspoon of English mustard, along with jumbled instructions worthy of an Ikea assembly pamphlet, which will have you leaping about the kitchen so confusedly that I'd advise you to move your kettle first in case of breakages. Jack still calls it South Indian Inspired Egg Curry, but it's NOT! It's a trick! It's Southend on Sea South Indian Restaurant Basenotes Kept Similar Not Culturally Appropriated Egg Curry!!!!
Here are the recipes side by side
Chettinad Egg Curry Recipe: How to make Chettinad Egg Curry Recipe at Home | Homemade Chettinad Egg Curry Recipe - Times Food
Easy Chettinad Egg Curry Recipe: Make the easy and delicious chettinad egg curry recipe at home using ingredients like egg, tomato, green chilli, ginger paste, red chilli powder, black pepper and more on Times Foodrecipes.timesofindia.com
South Indian Inspired Egg Curry, 57p
This recipe is based on one I have eaten many times at a South Indian restaurant in my hometown of Southend on Sea. I have tweaked it a little, to simplify it, while trying to maintain the baseline…
South Indian Style Egg Curry
Learn how to make South Indian style Egg Curry, inspired by Kerala cuisine. Easy, comforting and creamy egg curry recipe!myfoodstory.com
I try not to tinker with other cuisines too much if I can help it
I don't even have to add anything, do I?
MancBee
VIP Member
She hasn't greased those enamel pie dishes has she? I can't wait to see them removed for serving, like a proper cake should be. She will just photograph them still in the dish though, covered in some shite to disguise the abomination.
And how can something made in an enamel meat pie dish be a traybake?
Emmapism
VIP Member
Read @BeautifulTrauma posts to my fella. He burst out laughing at 'it looks like dog turd'.
Also he's a great cook. He's Lithuanian and is now talking about writing a cook book. Because 'if she can't cook and she can do it, why couldn't I?' indeed babe. Indeed.
Also he's a great cook. He's Lithuanian and is now talking about writing a cook book. Because 'if she can't cook and she can do it, why couldn't I?' indeed babe. Indeed.
kachoochoo
VIP Member
yeah, this is the chaos I ordered! 2 slops, an *actual* recipe (thanks jack, I feel validated 
) and a frau experiment!
this is all too much!
) and a frau experiment!this is all too much!