Jack Monroe #210 Granola provider? Not so much

[Ispyabudgetbeanblogger]

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You can probably tell from the writing style, but the squiggle is Roadside Mum. I know she has her own thread but I wasn’t sure. Interesting how she’s still curating a relationship with Jack, she’s very savvy and I assumed she would have done a bit of research on her.

I believe the cabal 'solved' Christmas if you are on a budget last year. There were lots of good tips, such as

Supermarkets (Aldi, not Waitrose) Christmas dinners (not lux range) work out reasonably cheap and are completely non-faff.
Instead of a roast, cook a different meal altogether that your family loves - doesn't have to be traditional Christmas dinner if it stresses you out/is too expensive.
Don't buy gifts for anyone but your own children.
Don't do Christmas cards (or do Christmas e-cards)
Particularly for young children, get presents from charity shops or FB marketplace (loads of good quality stuff out there, also much more eco-friendly).
Remember, no one would want a card or gift from you if they knew it meant you couldn't pay for heating/food/etc., so let go of the guilt, etc.

However, while this may 'fix' the day for anyone struggling financially, it doesn't address that people in the UK, one of the richest countries on the planet, can't pay for bills and struggle to buy food. That's the real issue. That's what needs fixing. Tips of turning parsnip peels into a vegan main are NEVER the solution.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I’m surprised she’s never concocted the ultimate egg, an egg egg, injecting cod roe into a hen egg and then making a hole in a boiled ostrich egg to insert anchoiade and the egg egg in, then putting an Easter egg around the outside to create what truly would be an inexplicable egg

 

[kachoochoo]

I mean, the whole packed lunch article makes no sense whatsoever, but i love this bit

like, was she really taking the same bottle of juice every day for six weeks straight? no wonder she couldn't do pe!

and then, the whole "I hated packed lunches, so I loved doing them for my son" like, what the fucking fuck?

 

[Silver Linings]

I feel like my phone is corrupted from even looking this stuff up. I wonder if she’ll use her pulling their pants down analogy today.

 

[MooBelle]

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The Trussell Trust lady is pulling the exact same face and body language that Sir Matt of the Forearms Tebbut used to do.
I don't know what TT lady does, but she's obviously an impassioned professional who cares very much about feeding people. She's done her bit and is now looking at this poverty tourist who is making a mockery of whatever she just said.
Someone on here once said that Matt's whole demeanour towards the end of DKL was of that of a professional who was forced to co-present with a competition winner.
Same vibes.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Literally LAST WEEK she was posting pics of her yellow sticker haul saying 'see what you can get for £20' and now it's harming the dignity of people on benefits. Make it make sense!

 

[Silver Linings]

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Face on her. I honestly can’t imagine even putting the lanyard on, let alone sharing oxygen with most of these people. Shudder.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Pretty hilari-sad and telling that the only initiative she could point to was one that had nothing to do with her at all.

Marcus seems like he's got a way better grasp on the child poverty situation, how to deal with government, and he dealt with the whole penalty fiasco really well. Jack just makes a show of herself, dribbles out some shouty rhetoric like one of those soapbox preachers, and hey presto she's solved child poverty.

Simply because Marcus lived through true food poverty, whereas Jack created a persona to get her face in the papers.

 

[Hollaaa]

I hope MR comes out in the papers tomorrow with something marvelous that he has been stitching behind the scenes and make two the faced clown seethe into her dusty weetabix.

He was giving books to kids with Magic Breakfast at Dusty Weetabix o'clock this morning

 

[Silver Linings]

You can probably tell from the writing style, but the squiggle is Roadside Mum. I know she has her own thread but I wasn’t sure. Interesting how she’s still curating a relationship with Jack, she’s very savvy and I assumed she would have done a bit of research on her.

 

[L3moning]

Here to defend soup. What's wrong with soup?

The issue was that jack had a soup recipe where one of the ingredients was tinned tomato soup

 

[HotesTilaire]

People I want to have pulled out at the last minute before they had to call Jack
- Ruby Tandoh
-Marcus’s Mum
-Miguel Barclay
-Kitchen staff from Marcus’s primary school
-Tom Kerridge
- Jamie Oliver’s trainees from Fifteen
-Ruby Rose
-roadside mum
-Brenda (of bangers fame)
-Cooper

 

[traumatised sideboard]

All I heard during that conference clip was HONK HONK HOOOOOONK, something about bare arses and exhalations either of amusement or a release of cringe energy from the filmer. Grim. The thumbnail is also absolutely terrifying.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Trifle defender is having a chaos by dissing Jaffa cakes

I love living in a world where this sentence makes perfect sense.


Do we think that Jack’s not allowed her usual weekend Instagram because she got to go on Twitter earlier this week as a “treat”?

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Anyone who is on a massive grunk ie threads behind is going to think they’re going insane when seeing these posts but no hats!

Good point! For the future grunkers, here’s Mr Easter Island himself!

On topic, Jack has not posted on Instagram since the 21st of September, and not tweeted in four days. I feel a weekend-chaos brewing…

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Smug kumquat bylines-in-unexpected-places Jack is not what I wanted to see today. She's just regurgitating the same shallow toothless tropes as she's so out of touch with the reality of the situation she can't think of anything new to say. Also can't believe she's at conference again. Two whole conference! What's more, no train chaos. Unbelievable. Unasseptable. If I don't get a partially-cooked egg soon I'm going to do a backflip off my balcony into the communal recycling bins.

 

[MancBee]

I have got it, Jack has got a minimum wage job at her own company, on a bootstrap limited. She interviewed herself and was the best (and only) candidate for the job.

Jack's new role is as a replacement for Caroline's hands!

Jack is also making the most of the UC to top up her wages by working the bare minimum she can get away with before it affects her benefits. She's been watching old re runs of Bread to get some pointers. (No matter it is 30 years out of date, most of her information is no longer relevant)

 

[Veronicaaa]

Congratulations, @Veronicaaa , you have achieved your PhD in Jack Monroe.

These squigs haven't even got a certificate of participation.

Thank you, can I respectfully ask that you now refer to me by my official title: DOCTOR VERONICAAA

 

[Clovis]

I've just checked Edwina's Twitter. I think she is at conference! There a picture of her there with the Tory LGBT+ group.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Q) Is Jack;

A. Listening to The Chancellor of The Exchequer Rishi mate. Making last minute, relevant changes to her brief, bullet point notes.
B. Networking. Establishing herself with similarly minded individuals and influential organisations supporting her activist principles.
C. Troughing down a ¼ of retro Pick 'n' Mix.

Answers on a non-existent postcard please.