Jack Monroe #206 I wouldn’t trust her with a spam fritter

[MancBee]

She's going to the *office*, guys. To *work*!

But I thought her office was in her dining room. Or was it the spare bedroom? Or was it the landing, or the front parlour, or it could have been the middle hall?

 

[Saint_clemmie]

I'm on the matt haig thread too

ETA - it was a genuine question. I've not used patreon before. Being unconvinced someone isn't 100% a bad person because I haven't read all 200+ threads doesn't make me a troll. I pop in and out of this site and I haven't heard of most of the people the site talks about. I stumbled across the RSM thread after looking at the Jack threads. Bit weird that you're this suspicious?

Jumping in before I catch up. In my opinion, the best insight to Jacks personality is through her interactions on Twitter (i’m sure some will be logged on the wiki). One of the ouchy mouth threads will suffice, every single suggestion from well-meaning squiggles she's “tried it”. Here she demonstrates all her best traits, lies, passive aggressiveness, rudeness and just nasty. She is not a good person in my opinion, and full of bullshit.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

A group of people you meet at a rehab clinic (which Jack is implying they are) are not your friends. They are acquaintances at best. Friends take time to develop, most of those in the group that she spent time with last night will fall by the wayside.

So glad you’ve said this. Fellowship is lovely and so important for new comers, and I have fond memories of it, but they’re not friends they’re fellows? That caption gives me major heeby jeebies it’s actually quite creepy.

It also says a lot that she travels *hours* to attend meetings/fellowship rather than fraternise with her SE locals. Wonder why that is

 

[panda_eyes]

I had Roger Red Hat & co in the early 90s! Not in the UK admittedly, but the hats were still alive and well. I preferred Letterland. Good old Clever Cat, Kicking King, and those weird incest cousins.

Just joking of course, I was reading War & Peace in the original Russian.

Ah, Letterland! I'm a year older than Jack and I remember those guys...

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I can't tell you how much #frugalmama and #frugalmom annoy me...

 

[NP]

This is the exam for your GCSE in chaos, hopefully you’ve got your clear pencil case at the top right hand corner of your desk with your student ID facing upwards. Please remove all labels from water bottles and put scarves and hoodies on the backs of your chair. Good luck

DON’T TOUCH MY PENS!

 

[Veronicaaa]

She's so naughty! She's so much fun! Life and soul of the party! (Definitely not shunted down to the end of the table on account of her non-stop annoyingness).

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Anyone else feel manipulated

It’s like we keep hitting a metaphorical rocky road.

 

[Boyo]

A 30-s something mum sits at a too-small desk, pretending to work, bringing to mind the classroom scene from ‘Elf’. There are pocket pens. They must not be touched.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Uses for edible glitter

spray onto shaven lady parts home made vajazzle also non toxic
Spray onto backs of child’s hands to convince them it’s raining thus encouraging them to wear coat
Spray onto dog’s bum hole producing more attractive turds more of a joy to collect also flies will not be poisoned

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I def. wouldn't be giving my ex a knife but wouldn't put it past Jack to have dropped a few unsubtle hints. Can just imagine the conversation, LJC asking if there's anything she wants back - most people would ask for some of those cool flavoured KitKats or some other Japanese delicacy, but this is Jack we're talking about after all. And the knife does seem suspiciously clean compared to her other utensils. Also interesting it's featured on insta on a Saturday night, whilst LJC is BUSY posting her own insta stories of a great night out.

She had a Global hanging on the rusty knife wall of doom, that we saw photos of before...

SS - @Marmalade Atkins

 

[Veronicaaa]

Have we ever discussed this? SB loves Weetabix in the morning so of course his mum has to .... grind down the Weetabix into an 'unappetising dust' to save "vital school run minutes".

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

I am outside. Here are my feet next to a discarded glove. Imagine it is a dead pigeon. Feel sad.

Fuck, what a haiku of misery.

 

[colouredlines]

1. I rarely go out, but when I do, most of the people I go out with don’t drink. It isn’t a novelty like Jack is making it out to be. It might be different in her luvvie London set, but once again, she implies her behaviour is novel and special.

Honestly, it's quite sad that Jack finds it noteworthy that people weren't drinking. I have friends who never drink for a variety of reasons (recovery, religion, just don't like alcohol), and friends who don't drink sometimes (driving, not in the mood, early morning plans)...nobody drinks all the time ffs!

It's bizarre that a 33-year-old would find this noteworthy. ESPECIALLY a 33-year-old who has already been through a lengthy & much-documented recovery a few years ago.

 

[EddieBeds]

Oh god scrolling through her insta (can you tell how boring my evening has been) and what does she have against breakfast?!?!

Also she is OBSESSED with eggs - is there a dish she doesn’t throw them into uncooked?! It’s like every other photo is a sad bowl or plate of slop and it’s guaranteed to have an undercooked egg on it.

Though I did chuckle when I came across this. After DKL I think we all know what the secret ingredient is now, don’t we?

(This was posted March 2019, couldn’t be arsed to screenshot the ramble - a whole year before DKL).

ETA: Look at this, different cohost but the same expression, lifting a fork.

 

[Eurgh]

We get it Jack - you’re in AA. And you have so many friends and at 33 years old you’re ‘at the naughty end of the table’.

 

[Veronicaaa]

How has she gone from liquid dinners to something that you could break a tooth on? In the pursuit of #sources found out her family home had a 5 ring range master, idek what this is but impressed they managed to fit one in the one bed flat she feigned growing up in for a minute

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Thank god they do free delivery on these x
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I think the words 'you can't plead poverty with a bloody Omega on your bloody wrist' are very telling and shows that at one time she saw the disconnect between her middle-classness and her new identity as a constantly poor, cold, starving smol Dickensian urchin. Like yeah it's probably best not to turn up at the job centre or the food bank (which she went to once, accompanying a friend, lest we forget) with a £4.5k watch or in your designer gear, and it's also best if you're going to make a career out of it to put all your high end goods out of sight. Jack Monroe: Pleading poverty since 2011.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

You really need to read the wiki. Pink button, top right hand on this page. She was never poor. The selling lightbulb stories is a lie. She said only last week that she’s still got a laptop she had since way before “the poverty” - why would you sell your son’s toys but not a laptop? Her dad inherited a property empire. She’s extremely well connected and lies about being working class as a “niche” in the food world. Either you’re trolling or you’re naive as to why someone who markets herself as doing good has over 200 threads debunking her many and constant lies.

Just saw this on Ching’s Insta - Sir Matt of the Forearms’ mystique has fully left the building. He’s just any moist, slurring rugger bugger you’d see on the train into London from Twickenham on a Saturday.
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How has so much happened here in just an hour?! Sorry, but I have so much to say!

1. Does anyone still fancy Sir Matt after seeing this picture @DisgruntledGoat found? I never did but now I fancy Ching, she’s so pretty.

2. I MISS THE TAXI DRIVER GUY!

3. Never mind the gold spray, what are the pearl things on that metaphorical rocky road? It looks like a cheap necklace got knocked off a sideboard and landed in the tin?

4. That picture of the Scream ghostface holding a packet of Digestives ended me @traumatised sideboard !

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

As Jack has decided Instagram is her new way to communicate with us, but it is still BRAND new and exciting for her, I have given her a list of things to avoid on said platform.

Do not, under any circumstances use boomerang on your stories.

Do not get into the running insta scene and post pictures of your Garmin (similarly, we do not want to see you posing on your puddle treadmill/peloton/water rower doing #neverskipamonday)

Any more than 10 dots on your stories is too much (Looking at you here Mario ).

No one wants to see you in bed. No posts or stories from bed.

If you have an #ad or #gifted item to declare (so basically everything you own) please write #gifted in big, clear-to-see font. No pale text, hidden on a white background please otherwise the SS, hinch and slimmingworldxgemx lot will be after you!

Please do not fill your first comment box with hashtags.

#whereisthegranola
#payyourtaxes
#writethefuckingbook
#tunnelneverforgets
#hmrcneverforgets
#pocawillbemad

 

[Horse Sauce]

I can imagine her calling ahead and asking 'not to be recognised or treated any differently' because she's out with a group of ordinary people, while the person on the end of the phone is wondering WHO the fuck she is.

 

[Bumbear]

Been busy on holiday so on a massive grunk and only now reading about our esteemed guest from last night.

I’m sure it’s a total coincidence that anon joined tattle exactly 7 days (17 June 2020) before Jack showed herself on thread 31 (24 June 2020).

Hi Jack!