Jack Monroe #202 All of my spoons tell stories

[Lanie]

If that's what her sex dreams are like, its safe to say she has fucked up sexual fantasies even in the most depraved world, kinky sex.

Imagine


Mr grey: come into my sex dungeon for a real experience.

* Starts firing up a pan full of dead pond soup thar smells like bacterial infections of intimate parts*

Mr gray " now get on your knees while i lather myself up in this and call me daddy"

Girl from the book, " duck that!"

 

[HotesTilaire]

Why does Jack have to go on a slop slinging/fishy/chaos at the end of a thread, it’s so thoughtless

 

[jordishaw]

How the duck are anchovies (incredibly fishy and very salty) associated any way whatsoever with "horny dreams"?

There was a very short feminist poem in the 1980s which compared orgasm to an anchovy 'little long strong and salty' but google has failed me in the search for the author.(My first guess would be Michele Roberts)

 

[Legionnairess]

Her Twitter addiction hasn’t been resolved, she’s just replaced it with an Instagram addiction, I almost feel sorry for her.

Instagram allows you to type more word salad.

 

[Lanie]

Her insides are definately not like in outsides. If she eats that much food with that much grease her insides will be clogged to hell.

Has she ever heard of draining the fat away.

Makes my heart constrict looking at it.

 

[Emmapism]

I told you we would be in for it Fraus

 

[Lanie]

You are correct @jordishaw

 

[Veronicaaa]

PLEASE STOP SEXUALISING ANCHOVIES!!!!!

 

[Legionnairess]

I think I may be moving toward being a ‘78 truther.

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Ah yes, seems v v pleased with herself. Celebratory sewer soup and everything.

Ah, but when ISN'T she very pleased with herself? I've never seen anyone quite so chuffed with their own mediocrity as her. Singing. Cooking. Writing. Photography. Makeup. Drawing. And so on.

The only things she excels at are sadfishing, and grifting from people much poorer than herself.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Sadfishing.

 

[Lanie]

Sadfishing.

View attachment 724516

So shes only happy right now.

Thats what i thought she's being over the top because she isnt really well. She would be better trying to pull her mood into a stable balance rather than bouncing from sad poet quoting to being mr tumble. This is not the best way to get out of your funk its still covering it up and masking it.

Also just made my family toasted sandwiches for lunch time, why doesnt she make these. Simple,economical and filling. She can even use her trusty tins and make cheesy beano toasties.

 

[EddieBeds]

Oh feck off Jack you’re the same grifting twunt you’ve always been.

 

[L3moning]

I misread it as 'horny butter' and now I feel sick

Last Tango In Paris intensifies.

Her attempts at sexy prose make me want to caulk my vagina shut.

Thing is, Jack is the sort of person I find attractive (there are reasons why I have a history of falling for lesbians), but a lot of their posts come across as fishing for compliments due to lack of self confidence, which is quite off putting. And I say that as someone around the same age who had very major confidence issues as a teenager, largely, although not entirely, for Asperger's Syndrome reasons.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

So shes only happy right now.

Thats what i thought she's being over the top because she isnt really well. She would be better trying to pull her mood into a stable balance rather than bouncing from sad poet quoting to being mr tumble. This is not the best way to get out of your funk its still covering it up and masking it.

Also just made my family toasted sandwiches for lunch time, why doesnt she make these. Simple,economical and filling. She can even use her trusty tins and make cheesy beano toasties.

Not wet enough. Everything has to be wet and brown.

Can’t wait for the ‘recipe’. Imagine being an actual chef or food economist and Jack just slings stuff in a pot, attributes a name it and calls it a ‘recipe’. It’s really offensive.

 

[Lanie]

Last Tango In Paris intensifies.

Perhaps shes going to market it as 'horny butter"

"Relationship in a bit of a funk? Try some anti panty anchovy butter, guaranteed horny feelings with just one sniff"

Pet it will fly off the shelves. Promise!

 

[Vanelope]

‘Leave anchovies alone!’ Is the gif I never thought I needed

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Do not a single one of her Lib Dem fans ever get onto the fact that for at least 18 months she’s been doing her beatific “I wasn’t ok for a long time but I am now” act every 8-12 weeks like clockwork? Do not a single one of them think, hang on, Jack has been talking about the utter privilege of private medical care, therapists on speed dial and exclusive addiction therapy for ages and yet never seems to make any progress? Does nobody question her integrity when there are at least 8 occasions I can remember where she was evidently lying about feeling her absolute best? And to what end?

(Incidentally narcissists are famed for lovebombing which makes their victims feel euphoric - I literally believe that Jack is so self-involved that she lovebombs herself, and mistakes that brief euphoria before she inevitably fails herself again for “being happy”.)

She’s 33 years old. Her son goes to secondary school next month. Literally the only thing wrong with her is a pathological need for attention. People are stupid.

 

[colouredlines]

I had anchovies on toast the other day and I had to change my underwear afterwards they were nice.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Part of me wishes she'd revert to being a twit to people on Twitter, because this iteration of Insta Jack is insufferable.

I don't know about anyone else, but nothing quite turns me on like reading the words "slick, salty, sea-briney and fatty."

We get it, Jack. Anchovies make your ovaries groan.