Whaaat? You can write an article about an issue without a 5000 word essay on how you’ve had it worse than anyone?
I was looking for the awful skirt photos and came across some vintage Jack chaos. Sober one week and she’s preaching to everyone. The stand outs for me include the claim she worked in a bar, cafe and the fire service at the same time, the mystery illness that was being diagnosed in 2019, and blaming friends for being enablers.
From the week-end papers: My name is Jack Monroe, and I am an alcoholic. I said those words out loud to myself 10 days ago, waking up after yet another binge with a friend, watching Richard Curtis films until 4am, mixing cocktails and bitching about work until we passed out on the sofa. My life...
ahangoverfreelife.com
I have finally succumbed and read that article for the first time. My eyes are now permanently stuck at the back of my head I have rolled them so much. Where, oh where, to begin?
She had to be waking up from an evening making cocktails and watching Richard Curtis films. What does it matter what drink you are drinking? (though of course it just
had to be cocktails, not cheap cider) or what films she was watching (though of course it
had to be Richard Curtis films)
She looked 14 until her first grey hairs came. Yea right, seen through a photo filter possibly, in real life, nah. We have all seen the pictures with Allegra, she looked like a naff middle aged mum with that awful "let me see the manager" haircut. Jack went straight from teenager to middle aged in her many, many incarnations. (though her problematic drinking
had to be the fault of her parents for not drinking responsibly in front of her)
She had her first taste of alcohol at 14 (though of course it
had to be her friends, fault), the second taste was drinking vodka neat from the bottle until she was sick. No, unbelievable, absolutely not.
The very next time it was a full litre bottle of Southern Comfort at a barbeque. How would anyone know they had drunk a whole bottle to themselves at an event where there were others? that is unless of course she sat clutching the bottle not letting it out of her sight. Not forgetting this was only her third taste of alcohol. (though of course it
had to be the fault of her friends at the Karate club) Surely a litre of Southern Comfort drunk by a 16 year old having only had two previous sips of alcohol would result in alcohol poisoning and a probable hospital admission.
She had drunk a bottle of Southern Comfort, but was compos mentis enough to know the taxi driver was "male" "burley" and "furious" "saw me safely inside" knew it was "four o'clock in the afternoon", knew where her nan lived and took her there covered in vomit. Think about that, covered in vomit in his cab from someone's house. Why did she not stay there until she sobered up and could clean herself up a bit, after all it was at a friend's house She remembered all this in minute detail 16 years later.
She then moved to London where it was everybody else's fault she was drinking so much. She of course takes no responsibility for her actions. The inference is that it was Allegra's fault.
I am going to have to give this a rest now, before you all fall asleep reading it.
Anyway, where's Jack?
evangelical alert lol
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