If our oracle is unsure I'm not even going to attempt to guess.
Jack Monroe #198 Marcus! Marcus! Marcus!
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Absolutely x it gave us everything, selfie’s of her taking photos with her tongue, gifting slop and melamine cutlery to the homeless, taking photos of a classic car, getting spotted in Sainos, discovering an independent local restaurant called Five Guys.
I’m pretty sure she got mardy via Twitter on her train journey home with the train company complete with Scottish ad libs because her and some other idiots sat in the wrong seats too.
Time flies when you’re 
I have to say, twit though she is, I appreciate that she always does a small chaos on her appearances to give us something to chat about.
May the sideboard open.
May the sideboard open.
”I have bought plants for my apartment" will never not be funny.
For anyone not around at the time, she bought potted basil for her hotel room.
Jack went to paperchase for photo background wrapping paper and a cuddly kawaii toast toy, presumably due to being very good on holiday it was earned/deserved?
Jack donated a used nutribullet to a local charity and then was tardy about when where they had to come to collect it.
Jack donated a used nutribullet to a local charity and then was tardy about when where they had to come to collect it.
Went on a city break to find herself and spent the entire time holed up in her hotel room with a suitcase full of blenders, cremating a mackerel fillet and taking photos out of her window.
Made a mad dash to Five Guys on her last night, because if you can't go a bit wild on holiday, when can you?
Made a mad dash to Five Guys on her last night, because if you can't go a bit wild on holiday, when can you?
I might be weird but the last thing i want to do on holiday is cook. I am all for dinning out for every meal.
Jack hadn’t Ben able to cook, due to how awful life was. Yet, on arrival at the Scottish aparthotel their mood immediately lifted, and buoyed by the man who whispered to their ear that they are truly brilliant, immediately began cooking.
We need Jack to stay depressed and unable to cook.
aye, "ran away" to Edinburgh on the sleeper at the first inkling of restrictions easing, with a suitcase full of wallpaper and photography attachments. wide-eyed bed selfie to prove the healing powers of Being In Edinburgh, even if you don't venture beyond like two streets. melamine cutlery included 
Ahh, this must mean it's my own Tattle-versary tomorrow, probably. I delurked to share my rage that she'd descended on my hometown fresh out of lockdown. Thankfully she's not been back.
Anyway, me-rail over. As you were, ninnies.
That's me!
Anyway, me-rail over. As you were, ninnies.
Until you hear a colleague play the onion song, 'slop in the name of love' or 'requiem for a bream', and someone wishing you to now get to absolute fu** after the call.I described myself as a mithering ninny on a teams work call. Everyone looked at me like a mad woman. It’s fair to say my team is cabal free…
This is my favourite fantasy (yes, we are in a pandemic)...getting to know somebody and finding out it is a Frau
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The spontaneous Edinburgh trip was to get over kitten wasn't it?
All the maudlin 'I'd never felt so loved and I'll never be happy again' stuff. The whole exercise was to softly, gently find and heal herself.
All the maudlin 'I'd never felt so loved and I'll never be happy again' stuff. The whole exercise was to softly, gently find and heal herself.
Hard agree. It's mostly been every other weekend, except for last weekend, Jack was clearly getting mardy over something, and created a self promoting chaos.
It'll be their weekend with SB, start of the summer holidays, maybe Jack will treat the lad to a game of kickyball and an ice cream?
Nah, buy him ice cream?
What about vegan three ingredient banana choc ice cream? Made with a banana, whatever else the orthorexics are putting in, and a square of dark choc (basics, 2p). Mash it up, put it in the freezer and an hour later, voila! Sad cold banana. He could declare it the best ever! Much better than that Mr Whippy rubbish.
What about vegan three ingredient banana choc ice cream? Made with a banana, whatever else the orthorexics are putting in, and a square of dark choc (basics, 2p). Mash it up, put it in the freezer and an hour later, voila! Sad cold banana. He could declare it the best ever! Much better than that Mr Whippy rubbish.
Yep. I've had to leave my daughter home alone a lot these school holidays, and it makes me feel like tit. Jack just has no idea of how lucky she really is.
LJC , if Jack now does this, SB will only have you to blame Hotes!!!
Jack would totally declare 'frozen banana ice cream' as their own invention, and it'll be included in their new book soon.
“frozen banana ice cream” sounds slightly too edible to pass as a Jack Original!LJC , if Jack now does this, SB will only have you to blame Hotes!!!
Jack would totally declare 'frozen banana ice cream' as their own invention, and it'll be included in their new book soon.
Kind of off topic but @Orphan_Black I’ve just started watching your namesake show (I’m even more behind than Jack with tv) and wow it’s gripping!
It's a bit too vegan for Jack's liking too! Goddamn us not wanting their help!
Off topic; Tatiana is astounding. That is all. Enjoy! x
We just know it’ll be soup or stew. Probably with wintery root vegetables to make it as unseasonal as possible.Wonder if Asda have got any parsnips in?
Then maybe a crappy #jackhack to finish off the day. ‘Stay cool at night by putting your pants in the freezer.’ ‘Keep the curtains closed all day to make it cooler. You don’t need sunlight.’
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