Jack Monroe #198 Marcus! Marcus! Marcus!

[Marmalade Atkins]

Here's a better shot of the spiral staircase stairs:

 

[Switchstreetz]

So happy to see we've gained cult status, we must all remember to leave an offering of Mel Donte peaches out in the light of the full moon next Friday to appease the doorstep soap spirit.

I'll be praying to open the front door on Saturday morning to a free bar of imperial leather, or maybe even a magic puddle filled with Penhaligons

 

[Mr Krabs]

What do colourful gloves have to do with Xmas?

 

[LavaFlake]

Here's a better shot of the spiral staircase stairs:
View attachment 664364

I sound like a broken record but how is this a crappy bungalow?!

It looks absolutely stunning. Beggars belief!!! Decorations look tit mind x

 

[Switchstreetz]

What do colourful gloves have to do with Xmas?

Like the song innit...

On the 3rd day of Christmas my squiggles gave to me:
3 Cotswolds sideboards
2 Chicken livers
and a glove in a eucalyptus tree

 

[Traazers]

I cannot get over how nice the not crappy not bungalow looks in those photos! God she is such a cow.

 

[MancBee]

It is indeed a lovely crappy bungalow (with stairs)

It really is a lovely bungalow with stairs....however, in my opinion it looks like an old person lives there. The furniture, the pictures and ornaments placed at regular intervals on the picture rail high shelf, the fake electric woodburner, the overly tasteful John Lewis styled Christmas tree. All a bit middle class mumsy look to me.

I wouldn't think anyone lived there that thought they were in any way unconventional and edgy. It is reminiscent of a Woman's Weekly Christmas special centre spread.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I love the weird wedding arch vibes. Nothing says high-end Christmas decor like cheap fake plants and lurid tropical gloves. Either Coops is the chillest cat going or my cat is truly a horrible tit because she would have pulled all that down and had a good go at eating it the very moment I turned my back on her.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Ahh, back when almost every post was about how big bad boring LJC would go berserk when she got home from work because Jack had spent the day doing some ridiculous home decor task for #content!

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Jack did later backtrack and claim she meant the crappy bungalow was crappy because she makes it crappy with her crappy mess.

And she does have a point.

 

[MancBee]

What do colourful gloves have to do with Xmas?

It took me a minute or two to catch on about the gloves. I even went back and spent a few minutes searching for the gloves, before the penny dropped. I must be ready for my medication

 

[Zelda]

Here's a better shot of the spiral staircase stairs:
View attachment 664364

90% vegan leather chair there. Presumably something that loomed out of a puddle one day, like Excalibur. Otherwise quite a fancy price I’d hazard.

 

[MancBee]

Jack did later backtrack and claim she meant the crappy bungalow was crappy because she makes it crappy with her crappy mess.

And she does have a point.

View attachment 664418

Every single thing about that picture sets me on edge. Everything.

 

[Suffolkmum]

It took me a minute or two to catch on about the gloves. I even went back and spent a few minutes searching for the gloves, before the penny dropped. I must be ready for my medication

Me too Until I saw the multi coloured gloves.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

It really is a lovely bungalow with stairs....however, in my opinion it looks like an old person lives there. The furniture, the pictures and ornaments placed at regular intervals on the picture rail high shelf, the fake electric woodburner, the overly tasteful John Lewis styled Christmas tree. All a bit middle class mumsy look to me.

I wouldn't think anyone lived there that thought they were in any way unconventional and edgy. It is reminiscent of a Woman's Weekly Christmas special centre spread.

The two photos of Fake Doctor Jack are a nice touch though.

 

[MancBee]

..


The two photos of Fake Doctor Jack are a nice touch though.

I have a real degree, one I had to put time and effort into to get. Do I have a photograph of me in cap and gown? No I do not, nobody does. It is cringeworthy. Your parents might have one, but putting one on your own walls. No.

 

[bladiesla]

She's so unprofessional for a professional food person. Why test recipes together in the oven (where one bake will influence the humidity and temperature of the other)?

She does like to brag about being tit at her job and think that her chaos makes her special.

 

[Hollaaa]

In which world of utter bollocks does a bungalow have a staircase?

Welcome to Jackworld, dear heart. You can't make it make sense, so don't wear yourself out trying.

 

[Lanie]

I have a real degree, one I had to put time and effort into to get. Do I have a photograph of me in cap and gown? No I do not, nobody does. It is cringeworthy. Your parents might have one, but putting one on your own walls. No.

My mum had two pics of me in cap n gown up on the wall in her house. I keep telling her i graduated a while ago now she can replace it with grandkids, but nope.

Edit to add from two separate ceremonies. Shes not that strange. She is a (real)northern irish lady so there is that.

 

[drusy]

Hi. Hope you don't mind me butting in.
Came to Tattle after being given the link to a thread on a home IG account that I HAD to comment on as know lots about the dishonest begger who's account it is and then found all this. Have now lost a number of days reading. Fret not though, as time consuming as this has been, unlike Jack, I remembered to care for the cat/cared for child without telling everyone how very difficult it is/didn't ask anyone for financial aid due lack of work caused by scrolling.
Anyhoo, please may I just ask for clarification/full goss on a couple of bits?

The green tit spaghetti. So, they actually admitted that they didn't get the gig because their food was tit? The pasta was undercooked? In a cooking segment where one should surely assume the person cooking knows how to cook what they are cooking? Or did they just claim it to up the Woe is Jack novel?

Tomato soup made from tinned tomato soup? Is that a real thing?

The grey sports bra? May regret asking but WTAF is that about? Did they advertise one or something?

The Vegan business. Are they actually admitting they went Vegan purely to make money from a book?

The curious pic of a 'black eye' I keep seeing? Whats that about? Not very good at applying their makeup?

And then a very quick look on the Twatter tells me -

Off for an x-ray, CT scan, ultrasound scans and steroid injections, so please distract me with your best photos of dogs, cats, quokkas, otters, sunsets, bonus points if you get more than one of the above in the same pic. Thanks!
In Beggy McBeg World, does that translate to "Send me sympathy, cash and gifts?"

And in another quick Twatter peek I see that they intended to drag a 70kg sideboard (plus cat) up a spiral staircase BY THEMSELF. Forgive me and correct me if I am wrong but surely the nature of a spiral would render the act of dragging a large rectangular object up it single handedly COMPLETELY bleeping PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE? Unless you're Arnie and can carry it above your head and even then I think he'd have a bit of a dab on by the time he got to the top. Might need a breather halfway.

Any light that could be shed or links would be much appreciated. Ta.

Welcome.
As you suspected, Jack lies and chats crap. Constantly.

As for the dragging the 93kg sideboards about, despite (allegedly) suffering from RA, I can only say I don't believe her and Traumatised Sideboard's description (of Jack dragging furniture around 'like a horrid gritty snail' (see previous thread), still has me hooting up a lung.

Although I suspect you had your tongue in your cheek when you asked for photos of dogs/cats/quokkas etc, have a picture of my catto.