Oh nobody would DARE!
Jack Monroe #194 She only came back cos we were about to put out an album
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'Mamapapa, will you read me a bedtime story?' 'No dear, but I recorded myself making up cunty lies a drinks tray being hurled at me for our happy times audio scrapbook. Oh, what jolly larks we'll have this evening!'
It’s funny because today the Trifle Defender herself has been having an actual bee chaos today.
That beer garden story is just so nasty, she really tells on herself.
The last sentence of this part literally made me face-palm.
(hidden behind a spoiler even though its on the previous page, no one needs to read it twice),
That beer garden story is just so nasty, she really tells on herself.
The last sentence of this part literally made me face-palm.
(hidden behind a spoiler even though its on the previous page, no one needs to read it twice),
Me too. The thought of Jack actually repping Cath Kidston is killing me. It's nice stuff for its demographic but it's not Pretty Woman-level.Omg your avatar!!
I genuinely thought “witch please, this bag is Cath Kidston“ had been made up by the cabal.
I didn’t think you were but I read it as you were telling MB to cut to the chase!shooketh, as if?
mackie is a PITA of course
just so you all know, I'm having to keep the mask face-down lest I break into a panic every time I walk past the dining table
here it is resting atop my real birthday present of truffled pasta
here it is resting atop my real birthday present of truffled pasta
Relieved I wasn’t the only one to think of Jackie’s disastrous make up when watching Sophie’s masterclass on black eyes! But alas, like everything in their life if Jack (could be bothered) put in any effort it wouldn’t come off half
I'm out for my tea and I feel a multitude of wonderful songs coming on...
I think Jack was between wealthy girlfriends at the time so needed another source of income.
Jack doesn't have a lot of luck with bank accounts - didn't she also lose £5k in a mysterious hacking incident?
Anyway, the whole thing made Jack look like a bigger bleep than she normally does.
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Jack seeing as we’re edging closer to Sunday Tweetathon day I know it’s a while ago but could you please clarify where on the designer bag owner white trash scale you are if you own a “designer bag” but it came out of your mum’s suitcase when she went on holiday to Turkey?
Asking for a “friend”
Asking for a “friend”
Uh oh, might have found the source of an incoming chaos, what with JM buying the depress-pipes domain name and their '100% success rate'...
Apparently she was only dogsitting (I think there may be Insta posts about it). I think even that is an exaggeration TBH - dogsitting while moving house? Ok then.It’s so funny the way she adds and adds and adds to stories and every detail makes it less plausible than before.
The absolute vitriol suggested by putting “woman” in inverted commas because clearly Jack sees young working class mothers as sub-human and then going back on a rare proofread like “ooh, better say it’s because she was so young”. We see you, Jack Thatcher.
What happened to this (pedigree, obviously) dog that she had? Yet another animal she neglected and then quietly gave away, no doubt.
Grandiosity. Confabulation.
This must be the title of Slopbot’s album if Slopburbia doesn’t fly!
Thank the LJC, we’d never be able to triagulate it with just happy little sounds anyway.
Do you think she believes the tit she writes?
Busy day, @colouredlines? Looks like it might be an official Royal Mail carrier one as well.
Thank you for your service, little one.
Thank you for your service, little one.
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I actually think she does a lot of the time, which is kind of tragic. Not all of them, but the ones where you can tell it’s kind of rooted in truth just exaggerated beyond acceptable standards.
I think she believes a lot, and others she thinks she’s doing the kind of embellishment for comic effect people do but it’s just… not.
Lord Jane Christ the pub story is even worse than I remember. Firstly lol at 'I'm a journalist' like she's in deep cover infiltrating a far-right extremist group to bring them down from the inside and get a massive scoop. Secondly lol at the concept of an audio scrapbook. Yeah I also love to reminisce about the time I was six years old and went to a pub garden which is obviously the first place that comes to mind when I think of places with happy chatter. Thirdly lol at anybody throwing a drinks tray as a distraction to nick a wallet. If I was going to steal someone's wallet I'd 100% send one of my horrid children over to cause a distraction. I don't have any children though. Or nick wallets.
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