Jack Monroe #192 Hoist with her own anchoïade

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sorry to quote self that’s not me being snobby about IKEA furniture cos I actually love IKEA / will be going there as soon as I get my second vaccine, what I meant was there’s no personality to it she’s just got basic blue / grey fabrics on white walls, nothing on the sides or walls, like a youth hostel that needs to be drunk proof not a little boy’s bedroom.
 
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I was in some random movie Chanel on sky and octopus energy ad was on there something to do with which.
Anyhoo it was a child playing chess alone. No smol pixies anywhere to be seen.
 
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we have tried that and failed miserably.
 
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Just sliding in between the pancakes and Jack's nip to add Venice to the list of Not-a-Holidays:

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Sorry it's irking me; 'to eat with abandon'

Surely that should be 'abandonment'. It must be easy to mix up your words when your vocab is in the tens of thousands.

Particularly when said company has been claiming furlough money, as Jack’s company has.
I wouldn't be surprised if the assistant fled for the hills at their first chance, and Jack is pocketing the furlough money herself. (Conjecture and opinion m'lud) Maybe it's how she afforded her hotel jaunt in London?
 
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There is a test you can do to find out your vocabulary - you can do it in loads of languages. If we get really bored we can all try it - non native languages only for extra fun. (I will be dire)
 
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There is a test you can do to find out your vocabulary - you can do it in loads of languages. If we get really bored we can all try it - non native languages only for extra fun. (I will be dire)
Send Our Jackie a link!
 
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hilariously, because she is late filing, she now has to put furlough on her company tax return because they recently added the boxes. If she had filed on time, she wouldn’t have had this added trigger to check for errors.

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The Greek gods getting mentioned because she's A Greek. I'm crying. It's too much. It's not "floundering" because it was 7:45 it's because she mistakes 'heritage' for personality.
I'm going to be very Luton from now on due to having Lutonian heritage - "Oh for Lugh's sake!!" will be my cry as I accidentally drop my (vegan) buttered toast on the floor.

"Me: “Well then. And anyway, what’s more important than being right all the time?”
J: “Being FRIENDS!”
That's weird given Jack is Colonel Pile On-Pass Agg all the time.
 
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That conversation is actual insanity, writ bold for all to see. A weird fantasy.
 
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I had my first jab this week (praise beans) and as I'm a year younger than Jack I thought she must have had hers by now. Then I realised that couldn't be the case because she would have tweeted in great detail how awful the side effects have been for her, because she has to elevenrife everything. Also the fact that she would have had hers at exactly the same time as other healthy thirtysomethings would have ruined the disability cosplay she enjoys so much.

"My arm is DEAD."
 
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She has actually mentioned the jab very little in general during a time when all the slebs are telling us to " save lives"

I wonder if she is an anti vaxxer? As she mentioned it before?
 
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She can’t mention that she’s getting it at an age appropriate time as she’s read here and realises it’s in direct contradiction to her being the illest pixie in the land.
 
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The only time my children or grandchildren would notice if I’d not eaten anything would be to ask if they could have the Magnum left in the freezer.
 
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I HATE to do this...but her accounts aren’t late.
Every company with a filing deadline before 5th April 2021 has been given an automatic 3 month extension to file and pay corporation tax.
 
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The only time my children or grandchildren would notice if I’d not eaten anything would be to ask if they could have the Magnum left in the freezer.
Can concur, my children are considerate little souls (though probably not quite so much to each other), they wouldn't have a clue what I did or didn't eat in a day! The only way I guess they would is if I banged on about it all the time...
 
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I stopped reading as soon as the Enid Blyton SB came out "Oh Yes, Mama! Please do tell a story and then we shall have a scrumptious feast of fish paste on toast and it will be the most delightful dinner I ever had."
 
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So true about once you've realised SB isn't there, you see so many of her stories fall apart @heretoreaditall2019 The constant gadding about on holidays she never takes, being able to drop everything for a two minute talking head slot etc. I wonder just how long he's not been there full time?
 
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She can’t mention that she’s getting it at an age appropriate time as she’s read here and realises it’s in direct contradiction to her being the illest pixie in the land.
If that's the case it's pretty hilarious, my wife is 30 and got called for her first jab after they decided her health condition might put her at risk. Like they were sort of going down the list before they started general admission and went 'oh she's faintly unwell, bang her in there'. It doesn't affect her at all in her day to day life unless she's run down.

So yeah you'd think with the collection of diseases and ailments Jack has they'd have been practically begging to get her vaccinated and also that she would have talked endlessly about it.
 
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Waking up to discover the Jraken has awakened!

Wondering if someone is managing her social media for her? Thinking about the blandness of her* “hello it’s me again” message and the professionalism of the sponsored energy company one. Not the usual sloppy fare, looked like they’d been proof read at the very least.

Perhaps someone with journalism experience could have changed her passwords and locked her in a secure wifi free unit for be helping her out? Hmmmmm....just a thought.

If she starts posting about her bowel movements and lukewarm hot takes on last week’s, news my theory will be proved wrong.

* apologies if pronoun is wrong, I’ve genuinely lost track, but don’t want to offend anyone
 
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