Jack Monroe #189 Food Crime Pie

[jordishaw]

Meanwhile, the defender of trifles retweets

 

[Veronicaaa]

I was just thinking, she really has no interest in anything other than herself, does she? Like, yesterday was a great day on Glasgow twitter, really emotional and inspiring. And then, on the other side of the coin, there's what's happening in Gaza. Jack, meanwhile, briefly comes back to twitter in order to .... post a selfie. She likes 'Can we talk about ME for a second', completely oblivious to the world around her. It's astounding self-absorption.

 

[Hollaaa]

Taste test next. Stand by.

 

[Anonymous One]

Turns out Jack thinks the food is sloppy too (and really can’t make porridge)

Other porridge attempts:

 

[MancBee]

nobody wants her to make Fuck Me Focaccia).

Ohhh this could be fun. Names for Jack's bread.

Turn me on tortilla
Been near me chuff ciabatta.
Nip up to bed Naan
"Fancy a" roll
Bonk me baguette
Pity me pita

 

[lilamay]

Found this.... Apparently she has a house rule that they don't waste food.

 

[Harrybosch]

It's so weird. Obviously, I try not to waste stuff, but sometimes you just have to accept that something (for whatever reason) needs to get thrown out. Making yourself puke in the name of 'stopping waste' is just stupid.

This has reminded me of my Dad, who would do random clear out meals and call them 'mucky stew' (and yes, it was generally awful) His most infamous was a calamari and lettuce creation that only he valiantly plowed through, only to confess a week later it was the worst thing he'd ever eaten

It really is ED behaviour.

Spoiler: ED stuff

For many years I had a pretty disordered relationships with food and I've only sorted it out in recent years. One main aha moment (thankyou Oprah) was when I realised that I am not a bin. I don't need to finish everything or eat something because it's about to go off. I hate food waste, but I also try to love my body.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

When I first signed up to Pinterest, I didn't realise it was public. I had ridiculous boards like "dream wedding" ( news to the person I'd just started seeing), and "stop being so lazy"...

When I found out that people I knew were invited to follow me I was aghast and did a jack-worthy deleting spree

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

View attachment 569989

Given that Jack claims to be the victim of violence many times over, this jokey part of the recipe seems very odd indeed.

This is, frankly, embarrassing. And maybe this is a stretch but it says to me that she hasn’t been a victim of physical violence from a man because I think any women who has knows just how disempowering it is to realise how physically weak you are in comparison, no matter how hard you work out.

Also if you think it might be triggering just... don’t say it?!?!?! Self-absorbed tit.

I mean, I’m happy for her. I’m glad that she trots about thinking that she could grab a mugger by the scruff of the neck (maybe if it was like when Phoebe mugged Ross outside the comic book store, I guess?). But she should STFU claiming that she’s a) hard or b) a survivor.

 

[Mr Krabs]

A round of applause for the Octopus Energy marketing department. Really got your finger on the pulse of youth culture by choosing Jack.

 

[kachoochoo]

"hi, you have reached jack monroe, accidental conqueror of fears, founder of hashtags, slop slinger extraordinaire. i'm off twitter at the moment due to reasons. what's that? sponcon you say? how much and what do you want me to write? "

 

[colouredlines]

Jack appears to be having a proper social media break. I’m hoping it is just a mental health break.
as much as she is a complete melter when she is here I hope all is well with her as I wouldn’t want her to be seriously ill.
Hopefully it is just a piss and sandwich break x.

She was on there like a flash to set up the tip jar, mind. Call me skeptical...

 

[Pocahontas]

I’d genuinely love a years’ supply of tinned peaches, to be fair. I don’t want a bundle of her books though so am in a Sophie’s Choice quandary. Those peaches though ...

Update: the link does not take me through to a page to enter the Comp, just to a collection of her ‘recipes’. I am appalled at my gullibility. I want peaches, Del Monte, dammit!

 

[Veronicaaa]

This is on the bottom of that thread about the journalist's stalker getting out of his secure unit. Def not written by a troll, just a normal person (who seems to work in PR), who uses his real name and photo on twitter. Sharing it because I really think this is Jack's MO - any slight or perceived criticism and she'll send her squiggles (including blue ticks) on you. Just a horrible bully when it comes down to it. (Having said that, not sure she's still got any defenders in Momentum, since her whole Corbyn-bashing phase came to their attention).

 

[PoorPatrol]

this dough is horrified at its own existence

View attachment 570048

kinda reminds me of the "#excluded rishi mate" selfie

Feel like pure shit, I just want to be in an oven

 

[Billybellend]

I think it’s a combination of the angle and a lack of facetune. To be honest I think it’s a nice enough picture, and it helps that her eyes are closed to avoid any Eyes Of Sauron!

They’re hiding underneath The Fringe

I can’t really comment on her looks...hair is something I don’t have, and what she does appearance wise is her choice...but it’s a bit crap if she HAS had it done professionally and is claiming a DIY job. Not wanting to myself, but I called out a client on FB for this recently, who had a right go at a few of my chaps for an external repaint job (which was spit spot chef’s kiss perfect, done on time etc). Client, I found out was a proper Dire Straits grifter who constantly complained and threatened to leave bad reviews for smol () companies like mine unless they received a discount. They then, I found quite by chance, posted on FB about how incredible their handiwork was and what skills they’d gained in lockdown!!! So I asked where they’d got the scaffolding from to repaint a three storey Manor House, and posted photos of various stages of my team repainting it. I’d love to say I had the last laugh -they deleted and blocked me, but it felt good to have the receipts, so to speak.

 

[Orphan_Black]

It was so well rested it didn't want to leave it's bowl, n'awh you gross alien dough. Flung into the slow cooker, timer set.

 

[Hollaaa]

The marshy green slop is living up to its name, and at the time of the photo was about halfway through the sloppening.
I've added a fancy chicken jelly stock pot to mine, and 250ml of water.

I can hear sirens and I'm concerned someone has reported me for crimes against onions.

 

[Readingismyhobby]

When I had my first rented flat I was shocked to discover I had to pay rent when I was on holiday!
I thought that because I wasn’t there I didn’t have to pay anything.
Landlord soon put me right .

 

[PoorPatrol]

“Me and my ten year old try to learn something new every day” yeah, except the days she’s dicking about in a hotel, sewing subliminal messages into denim shirts, and he’s with his dad. Or every one of the many many holidays she’s had, ALWAYS without him! I’m sure he learns loads with his loving family at his dad’s house, though.