Jack Monroe #170 Outrageous grifting dirtbag

[LennyBriscoe]

This exact thing happened to my friend when we were maybe 24/25, then almost cleared up as soon as it had arrived. She didn’t drink wine for ages as she was wary of it but now almost 10 years later she doesn’t get a reaction at all. Very strange! She’ll be glad to know it happened to other people though as we all just called her an attention seeker

I’ve just noticed your avatar, I’m decked

Spoiler: Alcohol Chat

I appreciate everyone’s honesty so much. It’s been a tough read in a way, I’ve been lucky not to experience hassle for not drinking (but I’m a bit antisocial to be fair and when I’m out it’s with people who know). A few years ago my work hooked me up with a Counsellor and he was my biggest problem in this regard - I’d told him I’m an alcoholic quite early on because he’d asked how many units I drank p/w. He said to me one session “it’s a real shame you know that you can’t just go out and get drunk, let your hair down” . And he also told me that he and one son stopped inviting the other son on nights out because he’d decided to stop drinking (he felt it was getting out of hand) and was now boring!

The support on this thread never ceases to amaze me. We cover such a range of sensitive issues and folk here just...get it. We have a lot to think Jack for in a way. Goddamnit.

 

[Powershower]

I've just realised I completed misunderstood the centre right question. Probability because im actually attending a work webinar. Ignore me.

have to admit I was confused but I didn’t say anything lest the cable thought me gauche! (Or thick!)
ETA: @LennyBriscoe I still genuinely chuckle every time I see it and realise it’s mine

 

[Lanie]

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Do these people have no food in their cupboards at all? Nothing.

Some people might not but most people have a few simple ingredients to put something together. It not a weeks shopping it's a few bits to keep the price off food down during the holidays.

She said there no pie element, does the person have flour, do they have water, do they have a bit of butter. You can make a simple short crust pastry and make a pie lid.

Beans on toast, beans and jackets, etc

 

[MancBee]

I have spoken to a family member who lives in Birkenhead that has two senior school age children in different schools. This is causing havoc on facebook groups and SM over there. The kids don't break up until tomorrow and that parcel wasn't anything to do with FSM. The people that have provided it are really upset. (a well meaning informal charitable group of neighbours)

ETA, I have no proof of this, but I would be inclined to believe it knowing its source.

 

[Harrybosch]

I have spoken to a family member who lives in Birkenhead that has two senior school age children in different schools. This is causing havoc on facebook groups and SM over there. The kids don't break up until tomorrow and that parcel wasn't anything to do with FSM. The people that have provided it are really upset.

Doesn't surprise me. The follow up tweets made it quickly obvious that these weren't any kind of official FSM. Around where I live there are several grass roots organisations who will provide extras to families in need. I imagine their parcels may look similar and they are not intended to be full meals, but just a little extra to help out . All the items on the photo are from Aldi. Total cost probably around £6-8. It is what it is, but I guess that can't cause Twitter outrage.

 

[onlysunshine]

Bad Vlad. The world does not need a ballet nutritionist in the form of Jack

 

[Cack Slumrow]

Looking forward being home in Sunny Southend once this lockdown is over.
Will be forensically avoiding certain places, which made me think; what would you say to Jack if you were ever introduced?

 

[Orphan_Black]

@traumatised sideboard I have, very tasty, but not a patch (in my mind) of what I remember Dairy Milk Caramel being as yummy as. To be fair, it's been about a decade since I had one, and I bet they changed the yumminess since, so if I did crack one day, it wont be as good as nostalgia I reckon!!!

The food parcel could be real, but Jack getting upset over lack of fresh ingredients? duck off! She rarely uses fresh anything!

 

[bladiesla]

It looked like bellends floating in sewage. Truly revolting.

Aye. Who the duck would put normal sausages in a curry? Then why put LM sausages in them?At least use some quorn fake chicken bits or something, but it made no sense and I can't believe LM allowed this. (though they might have hoped it would blow up for exactly that reason, that it was weird af)

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Looking forward being home in Sunny Southend once this lockdown is over.
Will be forensically avoiding certain places, which made me think; what would you say to Jack if you were ever introduced?

Id ask her why shes such a bleep

 

[bladiesla]

Looking forward being home in Sunny Southend once this lockdown is over.
Will be forensically avoiding certain places, which made me think; what would you say to Jack if you were ever introduced?

"I have some chippy chips leftover in the freezer, any tips for using them up?"

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Will be forensically avoiding certain places, which made me think; what would you say to Jack if you were ever introduced?

'Is it true you replaced Sponsorbot with an enormous poster of Slopbot that you kiss every night before you go to sleep?'

 

[Emmapism]

"In my 2012 iteration as a single mother"

WTF what on earth does she think iteration means?

Unintentionally indicating how her personas are like a change of clothes for her? The latest version of Jack Monroe.....

 

[Boyo]

Looking forward being home in Sunny Southend once this lockdown is over.
Will be forensically avoiding certain places, which made me think; what would you say to Jack if you were ever introduced?

Hello, and which iteration would you be?

 

[kachoochoo]

Looking forward being home in Sunny Southend once this lockdown is over.
Will be forensically avoiding certain places, which made me think; what would you say to Jack if you were ever introduced?

*pulls up notes app*

"do you want some help copying this onto your wallpaper?"

 

[Captainmouse]

Looking forward being home in Sunny Southend once this lockdown is over.
Will be forensically avoiding certain places, which made me think; what would you say to Jack if you were ever introduced?

Do I need shin pads?

 

[Cack Slumrow]

I am loving the questions, we should collate them in case she ever comes back for the Q&A suggested in #31

 

[Eurgh]

I would shyly shuffle up to her in a shop and whisper in her ear about how inspiring she is to me.

 

[Boyo]

Looking forward being home in Sunny Southend once this lockdown is over.
Will be forensically avoiding certain places, which made me think; what would you say to Jack if you were ever introduced?

Did you get the soap I left?

 

[Flibbertigibbet]

What would I say to Jack if I met her?

"Oh I like your scarf! Where did you get it?"