Jack Monroe #169 Please don’t argue about turnips

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bladiesla

At home we tend to respond with a "Ah, sounds like you invented it"? or something similar ('Well you'd know, because you invented it!) when the other gets cocky or very 'splainy' about a topic. Perhaps I can expand on the repertoire by adding "didn't you found the hashtag for that?" (In real life we are very nice though, I promise, JM just puts me in judgemental asshole mode )

Joan of Narc said:
Just coming on here to say that her description of a bee as a 'fuzzybutt' makes me feel a bit sick. Now fuck off.
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People using that word deverve to be stung by bees.
 
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A

Anonymous One

Silver Linings said:
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This is a bit bitchy but I’ll put it out there anyway. For someone who claims to have dabbled in professional photography and says she’s been taking photos for 10-15 years (at least) her everyday photos are absolutely shit. Obviously there are different types of photography and, perhaps, nature photography/landscapes aren’t her forte but you’d expect to have seen some sort of improvement, some concept of lighting, some editing etc. Most people improve rapidly when taking up new hobbies (let alone pretending it’s part of their job) but she just doesn’t improve.

Don’t know why I’m even saying this as she’s a ‘literal food expert’ with over 10 years experience in that field and still doesn’t know what the creaming method is so her desire/capacity to learn is obviously non-existent.
 
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Scoopy79

Guarantee we are going to get a Pot Noodle Jack/Botany Jack/Jackshacks mashup where she suggests keeping empty pot noodle containers for use as plant pots.
 
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waffle maker

Maybe she could come and sort out our (rented) garden as we are currently having a shocker. We pay a gardener to come every day to sweep and water and wash the cars. He is terrible and over waters everything but I feel bad for him because he is so bad at gandening that he can't keep work. he does 2 things 'put water madam' and 'put medicine madam', medicine is an all purpose word for poison and plant food/ fertliser. I am in trouble on FB local group for paying him too much. yesterday Mr waffle Maker asked him to get someone from the company he works for to cut down a tree as our grass gets no light, 1 minute later he was cutting it down himself after shimmying up the tree with a machette. Casualties were our BBQ, garden fan, string lights and the gazeebo, and our ratty lawn is now covered in tree.
 
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emmer_moans

Veronicaaa said:
Who was it yesterday who was asking about her book sales? I have a very trustworthy source in the publishing world who sent me this overnight:

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Whoa. Then again, Jack didn't exactly plug her own book very well, it got buried in all the chaoses. And didn't Jack show on occasion that when having bad days she didn't really cook...

Any book Fraus know if that will have even covered the advance?
 
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Kelpie

Joan of Narc said:
Just coming on here to say that her description of a bee as a 'fuzzybutt' makes me feel a bit sick. Now fuck off.
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It's so cringy isn't it? Crossed my mind that there's going to be a claim to be Scottish Jack as one of the Doric (NE Scotland) words for bumblebee is Foggy bummer. Which is fantastic but only if you speak Doric. I'm English by birth, living in Scotland but I wouldn't use the word. I like it and I understand it but l don't have the accent to give it justice! There's a cafe in Banff called Foggy Bummer. Let's go....when lockdown ends
 
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Brian Butterfield

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ReginaPhalangee

You are VERY suspicious I think it’s nothing sinister, Jack is always famously behind the times and plants were a big trend 2019/2020. Plus it’s spring so all the new brightly coloured stuff is emerging in her shitty rented meadow and it’s a chance to get some Twitter attention.
 
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ChocolateMuffin

Happy birthday eve to @Orphan_Black !

I'm spending the day cleaning and painting an internal door yellow. It looks terrible but I'm determined not to admit this and I don't RENT so I can do as I jolly well like.

It amazes me that Jack has 338k followers, about 100k of those are quite new. Ruby has 118k, Grace 274k. And with this, I declare myself a literal Twitter expert.

I was thinking today's subject could be mothers' maiden names, with a round up of PINs tomorrow.
 
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Emmapism

Given those abysmal book sales, the lack of any viewers on her lives (that aren't Tattle members), not being asked to return to any TV projects she's briefly involved in.....

Media is not your niche hun. Unfortunately for you the only way you can monetise your Twitter following is by jumping on every bandwagon opportunity sent your way before fucking it up. This isn't sustainable.

So all of the people telling you to get a 'real job' are likely telling you that because you can't make the kinda money you want to pumping out poorly written and researched books and fucking up TV appearances. If you were good at your job, you could, but you aren't.

Selling yourself off of the back of Twitter clout isn't a sustainable career.
 
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Lumpyspaceprincess

Grace has fewer followers but has a best selling book. Jacks engagement is dreadful (but then so are the books to be honest).

I think she missed the boat. The year after the KH trial would have been the time to push a media career as people will have known who she was was. Instead I have to explain to Prince Lumpy constantly who she is (the changing hair doesn’t help).
 
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LyraBalaqua

Harrybosch said:
Who would describe a pot noodle as immense? Sure, most of us eat some processed crap at some point or another, but surely out of necessity or for convenience, not because we think it's immense? Am I doing food wrong, cabal?
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Have to agree, if I’ve not got anything for work I’ll get one out of the cupboard , it’s necessity rather that an immense taste experience .
 
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Veronicaaa

The thing is, the timing of the book's release was really lucky in that Jack should have been able to cash in on the pandemic - which obviously she'd have no qualms about, it's literally her MO to cash in on the misfortunes of others. And it *still* did terribly.
 
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Brian Butterfield

She doesn't have the first clue how to promote herself positively.

It's mind-boggling she's got to where she has on so little talent.
 
Reactions: 41
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