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Breakdance Badass

VIP Member
I'm left handed and there are a few things in life that bother me. My sink for example would suit me more if the drying rack was to my right not left but that's the design of the kitchen not a world wide conspiracy. Cant open tins either unless it's with a magic can opener. But opening a fridge?! Never even considered it.
I’m sorry but you aren’t like Jack. The poor soul doesn’t just need the hinge to be at the correct side for her, she also has to contend with her arthritis; ADHD; insomnia; 46 broken foot bones; a rat’s tail; a shitty bungalow; being a vegan/not being a vegan; being trans/not trans.... please do not compare yourself
 
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BeautifulTrauma

VIP Member
That photo of her in the Daily Mirror.

All I see is Deidre Barlow. And that’s not a compliment. Glasses too big, gums on show. It’s not one of her better photos.
 
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Raker

VIP Member
@LennyBriscoe Noooooo! You’re a hard bitten NYC Detective, who’s been around the block a few times, battling some inner demons, with a plethora of zingy one liners, a fine singing voice and a lot of alimony to pay.

You do not suffer fools gladly, and you certainly do NOT have a school girl crush on Dominic Raaaab!
 
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MarmiteExtract

VIP Member
Ha ha! This is the first time I've focused on this but yes, Caroline *has* to be Jack. Her old PA, Vix, is definitely real but Caroline was gently hatched from a phoenix egg during the Kickstarter fuck-up to take the heat off Jack.
I’ve no shame in saying I’ve nowt better to do with my evening, so I’ve just trawled back through Caroline’s twitter account and have found her full name and a photo of her with her partner, plus names of her kids. Feel like a right creep, but then she has put it on her public profile (her work one at that!). Obviously not going to share any deets on here but I think she does def exist! She must have the patience of a saint...
 
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Cooking that would make me depressed.

A tin can cook reviews:

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Fuck me that’s scathing, are those two separate reviews?!

Surprised with that 100% success rate she hasn’t taken on Amazon for slander, he’s set to become a trillionaire out of covid so get in on the action hun. A fresh smeg fridge & another landrover on its way, delightful! x
 
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J4n0Z

Chatty Member
Good point. A Smeg is a rather FANCY purchase, isn’t it?
Well, when my last fridge freezer broke I was debating whether to replace it with the pink or green smeg - a common dilemma for us poors.

However, I simply couldn't decide so I ended up going with logik.
 
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Flumps

VIP Member
They fit her demographic perfectly. Lefty luvvies with plenty of money. They think backing her is helping the poor. They can live their socialist views through her.
I always feel like this is the sort of socialism a lot of the more luvvy lefties prefer. Pretty, well-spoken, espousing the right views, photogenic poor people. They feel comfortable with it and it doesn't really challenge in the way more entrenched and less pleasant to look at realities of poverty does.
 
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Bellybutton lint

VIP Member
Done it! Chuh, *influencers*.

(Thank you, lovely bitches, wise not to let my weird social anxiety things stop me from trying to do nice stuff. x)
Yay. You rock Flumps.

Who coined the phrase “Fridge Truther” yesterday? @Veronicaaa How wise you were!!!

please let the Smeg Fridge be the tissue that wipes away the fog of gullibility from the world, revealing the absolute fecking CON ARTIST (fake firefighter, fake poor person, fake cook, god the list is endless...) beneath. Jack’s Gerald Ratner moment, perhaps.

Of all the shitty truth-bending shit she’s done, Kickstarter aside, this has really incensed me 🤬
Don't let it get to you Raker. I have a feeling that 3 freezers Monroe also has a couple of fridges and looking for that pat on the back from her more sycophant twatters. Go on Jack, you deserve it, you work so hard, your recipes are divine and you are a national treasure. Bladdy bladdy bladdy.

Naturli butter is incredible
I want to try it now.

BTW does anyone have a screenshot of when she was putting out her begging bowl during lock down.

I'll just leave this here while I get a gin. BTW, speaking of fridges, we have a fridge freeze that has one of those water dispensers, where you fill it up with water and when you want cold water, well you pop a glass under and fill er up. Much to the amusement of my old boy, today I filled it with gin. Warm out there innit.

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Bellybutton lint

VIP Member
My kids can peel garlic for goodness sake! Take the end off, then squash lightly with the blade. If you want reasonably smooshed garlic, squash harder with the blade. Takes 5 seconds. But she’s not ‘cheffy’ and that’s why she can’t peel garlic, obvs. Fucking trolls.
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Jelly Bean

VIP Member
I posted about it way back in thread #1 I think but not with any screen grabs. She was just having a typical sadfishing whinge that she’d had a poor review and focused on the sandwich aspect.. that she liked sandwiches and would NOT apologise for that 😒

Cue lots of her sycophantic followers leaving weird OTT five star reviews about how they particularly loved the sandwich chapter.

I recall it being very eye-opening to me at the time as an insight into how she operates and how she was incredibly precious.

It’s not even a rudely worded or unfair review - the person made their point politely and with examples. Jack was totally unable to let it go.
Interesting - it mirrors exactly her patrolling of the DK Twitter leaping on anything slightly negative. She has to accept people are allowed to express an opinion - especially when they have either paid for a book or the TV licence.
 
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Saturn.

Chatty Member
Brilliant, @Saturn. !
PS Your excellent work here did not go unnoticed...
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I did notice someone make a claim to the 'Beg for a Smeg' copyright - but don't mind as the Anchovy challenge could become the new 'Carpool Karaoke'.

P.S. Couldn't help but notice Jack responded to Smeg, but not the kind person who actually answered her dilemma regarding the pastel shade.
 
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Flumps

VIP Member
Hello lovelies. You've all been impressively busy. I have giggled lots catching up. As have I, but in a non-internet way. It's been delightful. @Bellybutton lint - I managed not to bankrupt myself on seedaholic, as I was BEING WATCHED while shopping, by someone who has a slightly better grasp of finance than me, though a depressing inability to see the value in growing ALL THE DIFFERENT COLOURS OF TOMATOES.
 
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lipsticktaser

VIP Member
I’m surprised she hasn’t added fluffer to her list of previous job. God knows she has done everything else. She doesn’t paint herself in the best light as a parent. Sometimes she sounds downright neglectful.
 
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CarrotsandSticks

Active member
Now I feel totally guilty for not being so forgiving of my mum (abusive alcoholic with NPD traits)

I wonder how SB & Jack's relationship will change when he's a teenager and acting out.
There is a whole lot more to the relationship with my mum than what I’ve written here and if anyone is guilty of anything, it’s me for simplifying things in my previous post. Please don’t feel guilty about how you are dealing with your relationship with your Mum ❤
 
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