Jack Monroe #16 Queen of the freezer, bathtime teaser & blue tick pleaser

[PineappleQueen19]

The fridge is less than a year old, apparently.


This is how she ends up with 3 of everything, isn't it?

Another lie or another fridge? As this post is 15 months ago. And the caption says she’s had it years.

 

[Veronicaaa]

There are some excerpts from the book here, has everyone had a look? https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=gg_ADwAAQBAJ&pg=PT81&lpg=PT81&dq=good+food+for+bad+days+review&source=bl&ots=dF3Qv-AUD6&sig=ACfU3U2AlAdhCygvCwtOttEaoYsi4XYnHA&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiyrYSyrr_pAhVrTRUIHYCTBi0Q6AEwCHoECAsQAQ#v=onepage&q=good food for bad days review&f=false

One of the extracts is how to make popcorn

 

[Breakdance Badass]

Now I feel totally guilty for not being so forgiving of my mum (abusive alcoholic with NPD traits)

Don’t feel guilty, everyone’s experiences are different. I know I’ll never forgive my alcoholic abusive Dad.

 

[PennyLoafer]

I don’t understand the appeal of SMEG fridges. Yes they are aesthetically pleasing but they are SO tiny inside and the freezer compartment is minuscule.

And don’t even get me started on the price for what you get.

Samsung all the way for me.

Me neither. They've come to represent a cliche of a certain kind of lifestyle.

It's like that Dylan Moran routine about conspicuous one-upmanship - "This is our Smeg fridge, the whole house is Smeg, we're made of smeg, aren't we, Roy?".

Before having a fitted kitchen put in (fancy!), I had a cream vintage-style Servis one. Cost about £200, maybe less. It was still going strong after 8 years so I was able to sell it.

 

[PoorPatrol]

Phew!! Was trying to catch up while frantically thinking SHE NEEDS A NEW THREAD what actually happens if a new thread isn’t made, does the old one spontaneously combust?

Oh, shit! Don’t want to give Jack any ideas for new health problems. She’ll start saying she is genetically predisposed to spontaneous combustion, and nobody will help her, people (Tories, obvs) just spit on her in the street and call her a gay tattoo bumder

 

[Bellybutton lint]

I also think it speaks volumes that Jack’s mum is aware of her daughter’s poverty fantasy and doesn’t challenge it at all.

I imagine her whole family is aware of it and my hunch is some of her family have lessened their contact with her. My opinion only (don't sue me).
One thing that I tend to think was utter bullshit is when she was coming out as non binary, or such (cannot recall) and she phoned her dad and said she had something to tell him. He replied you can tell me anything except you are voting Tory. Yeah right.

 

[I steal names]

Didn’t the last time she tried to ‘limit Twitter’ end up two hours later with her in a candlelit bath? Or her with a new haircut and reversed rat’s tail? Or her posing in a baggy crop top and midriff rocking a ‘what, this old thing?’ vibe?

Me confused as to what time away from Twitter means.

A reversed rat's tail, oh my god

Je suis morte

 

[Betty Neumar]

Just catching up and still a few pages behind but @poppycat has just pulled my feathers (in a lovely way). I’m with you in feeling that her eating shows signs of disorder; the emphasis on volume and value above taste, texture, pleasure. You know how you read about athletes extreme diets - Michael Phelps eating 4kgs of butter mash for breakfast etc... it puts me in mind of that food for fuel not pleasure mindset. I relate to that as one of my signs of being in a dodgy headspace is working out the minimal amount to wolf down - ideally quickly enough to disguise any pleasure or feeling. It all pings a really sad recognition.

Howevs... Naturli butter is incredible. Pre-vegan I was a butter snob but I can happily lick the melty Naturli toast knife. I changed a couple of our lockdown grocery deliveries to Sainsbury’s just so I could stock up on it. BUT I found it online doing my usual Waitrose (fancy bitch) shop today. Made me fizz like bean juice on a hot stove.

 

[Saturn.]

I'm left handed and there are a few things in life that bother me. My sink for example would suit me more if the drying rack was to my right not left but that's the design of the kitchen not a world wide conspiracy. Cant open tins either unless it's with a magic can opener. But opening a fridge?! Never even considered it.

Beg-a-Smeg, fucking deceased I did a @Bellybutton lint and actually snorked... So hard it actually hurt a little ffs

So going back to this nonsense about being left handed and not being able to have that particular fridge because its not lefthanded (what she really means is they won't give it her for free and it's maybe outnof her budget )

Not that ‘Smeggate’ has any redeeming features, but I read it as her preferring / needing a left-sided hinge as a right-sided one would leave only a fridge width opening with it being placed next to a protruding wall to the left. A left-sided hinge would give better and wider access, rather than reading it as being awkward to open if left-handed.

There rests the case for the Defence, m’lud. Please forgive me. Tattle.

 

[Petelgeuse]

What on earth is this slop? And it is in her BOOK? UGH

View attachment 132712

Just added sliced Peperami to my porridge. #edge

 

[Not Now Bernard]

Hasn’t she thought about getting her fridge FIXED? Absolutely not as she’s got her begging bowl out with Smeg. What a chancer.

 

[Raker]

Who coined the phrase “Fridge Truther” yesterday? @Veronicaaa How wise you were!!!

please let the Smeg Fridge be the tissue that wipes away the fog of gullibility from the world, revealing the absolute fecking CON ARTIST (fake firefighter, fake poor person, fake cook, god the list is endless...) beneath. Jack’s Gerald Ratner moment, perhaps.

Of all the shitty truth-bending shit she’s done, Kickstarter aside, this has really incensed me

 

[PoorPatrol]

Ughhh, that fluffernut bollocks. Why the bloody hell does she have to preface every single thing with her fake ‘I’m such a workhorse’ shtick?? Literally nobody works all through the night until 5am, as a matter of habit. People have insomnia, people have night shifts, and people work in the day. Nobody works allllll day and allllll night, forgetting along the way that they have a kid to get to school. This whole last egg thing, why is everything the last, a scrap, an end, or cobbled together? If she had nothing to put on French toast, but had a roll, an egg, and some form of veg, why wouldn’t she just toast the roll and scramble the one egg with a bit of milk and butter? Or make the French toast and just pour some honey over it? The reasoning behind the recipe just doesn’t add up! Why would you send your kid to school on a marshmallow breakfast, when you’re pretending to be writing your ‘depressipies’ Based on their nutritional content? Regarding that nutrition angle, did she actually consult a professional for that side of things??

 

[Nottonightbabe]

When did she work at a supermarket? That's another one for the timeline.

Perhaps we need a 'Jack's Jobs' list to run alongside the list of ailments...

 

[LennyBriscoe]

This isn’t surprising given how depressing her Twitter is! I find it interesting that her Twitter header photo is a book endorsement from Matt Haig. He’s well liked, unproblematic (as far as I know) and I have a lot of empathy for his struggles having MH issues myself but he’s so depressing. I kind of like him but even when he tries to be positive it feels tinged with sadness, though compared to JM I’d describe him as happy go lucky. I wonder if her next identity is going to be mental health advocate, just like Matt? Or has she already claimed that

But yeah, I agree she’s not helpful to depressed people at all, so this book won’t be. Her constant woe is me one-upmanship with no light at the end of the tunnel IS depressing. It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s reasoned that some of the greatest (largely fictional) books in history are depressing, so that’s a route to success. Which is ignoring the fact that success comes from them also being thought-provoking and beautifully written. Jack’s book will be neither - she has as much depth as a paddling pool and her writing is awkward and bland

If she becomes a mental health ambassador, I will be fuming!! As someone rightly pointed out yesterday (sorry, I have a terrible memory), this is MH awareness week and it would be the perfect time to even pretend she cared about anyone else, but she’s too wrapped up in herself to try. My Grandma always said “there is always someone worse off than you” and it’s a fact. IMO JM doesn’t even know she’s born and the sad fact is, something awful will rock her world at some point and she‘ll crumble

 

[MarmiteExtract]

As usual she's just creating drama where there is none.
"Can you send me a link?" All she had to do was type the name of her book into ebay search and she would see quite plainly, as if she didn't know, that the book is pre-order.
It must be absolutely exhausting maintaining that level of gormless drama in her life.

Agreed, it took me about 20 seconds to find the book listed on eBay. She also could’ve said thanks to the poster for ordering a copy of her book, wherever it was from!

 

[PennyLoafer]

Broke 47 bones in her foot?

Jack Monroe Cooks In My Kitchen - Mad About The House

Much excitement in The Mad House last week when the Guardian columnist and food blogger Jack Monroe came to film some recipes for a collaboration with Groupon to raise money for Oxfam, for whom she is also an ambassador. She arrived at about 10am walking on a stick having broken about…

www.madaboutthehouse.com

What?! Doesn't a human foot only have 26 bones? I am HOOTING!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I have a Smeg oven (double one - fancy ). It's my pride and joy, after I left (escaped) my eldest son's dad it was my present to myself for my new home. It cost more than my car at the time did and I scrimped money each month to pay for it. Worth every penny to me and will always be a symbol of my independence and freedom from that relationship
Can't say looking at something, knowing I got it because I was just a massive fucking beg-a-smeg (thank you so much for that phrase ) would have the same feeling.
Up yours Jack.

That’s a lovely story - if it’s one of the pyro self clean ovens please never use that mode I successfully used it twice & third time it blew the fucking internal door off. It was terrifying watching tiny pellets of boiling hot glass spit out our oven onto the kitchen floor, I thought it could blow up the house tbh. Our Smeg engineer said about 2/3rds of his call outs are over self clean and he actively discourages people from using it! Sorry to put a downer on it but we must protect your oven of peace at all costs xx

 

[Betty Neumar]

Morning fraus! Just chugged my happy pills down my depress pipes. Will not be following with curd fried rice.

 

[PineappleQueen19]

All of this to say she made french toast. Maverick!

View attachment 133449

The way she writes about the book you’re currently reading being written, hitting the deadlines etc is so weird. It’s not a pleasant read and too meta. Apart from not really making sense it only amounts to “look at how I suffered to bring you this book” anyway. It’s like she’s taking inspiration from Nigel Slater’s kitchen diaries but has managed to get it totally wrong. And on top of that manages to make it all about herself rather than the food or her son. Again. No one cares how crap you are with deadlines.