Jack Monroe #16 Queen of the freezer, bathtime teaser & blue tick pleaser

[Peachy9]

Spent 10 minutes trying to peel a clove of garlic.

And her 'clever method' is to soak it in hot water for 10mins...sorry what? Just crush the clove by either crusher or knife and the skin will stay whole and can be chucked? Why does she always add so much effort to the most simple things

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

And she was the acceptable face of poverty too - a lefty lesbian single mother of one, not one of those stupid feckless underclass single mother types. There’s no way someone with that profile would have got themselves a platform like Jack did.

this is super interesting and tbh a dissertation could be written on it. Agreed completely. I actually think the fact she is MC and fell upon hard times and it could happen to any one of us!!! Is a huge part of her schtick. This is why I’d also love for her to open up her platform to feature the “unacceptable” faces of poverty - first gen immigrants, BAME individuals, women with regional accents tbh , disabled women, older women, etc etc.

Tbh even women from up north not that that’s a marginalised identity - but London/wider SE benefits from the disproportionate investment in infrastructure & particularly the arts. I grew up poor but still had access to the best museums and galleries in the country for free, and my travel to get there was free. Our school always got free trips to plays. We had talks and workshop days hosted by authors and poets just cos they lived local? We got to go to these mad science talks in a posh old building in Greenwich park too. Lived in bus distance of 3 good libraries I could study for my GCSEs in & use computers at. If you’re poor in Birmingham you don’t have any of that shit at all??

It’s like because she dipped her toe into poverty in adulthood she misses so much of the bigger picture and isn’t opening her eyes to it... I’m sure I’ll get done in court for this blasphemy x

 

[PoorPatrol]

God she’s fucking tiresome. A.) the fridge isn’t really broken, she just had NOTHING to say, and B.) the only things needing immediate saving even if it was, are cheese and 4pts milk. Hello! Mac and cheese! Think, McFly, think!

 

[Hunty]

No, Smeg, don’t engage!

View attachment 133308
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Oh dear god , so INCREDIBLE, I HOPE BY SAYING WORDS IN CAPITALS IT SHOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM, AND BY LOVE THEM I MEAN, WANT YOU TO GIVE THEM TO ME FREE OR HEAVILY DISCOUNTED, CAUSE YOU KNOW I'M SO POOR AND ONLY PAY MYSELF THE LIVING WAGE, WAH WAH WHA

I hope they don't give her a freebie or a discount,... I still don't believe her fridge is even broken, she shares pics of herself with her nipples on display, and all other weird aspects of her life but doesn't share pics of the broken fridge that was so hot it melted all her cheese? I'd have been sharing the melted cheese online if it had been me lol

 

[PennyLoafer]

All of this to say she made french toast. Maverick!

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The way she writes about the book you’re currently reading being written, hitting the deadlines etc is so weird. It’s not a pleasant read and too meta. Apart from not really making sense it only amounts to “look at how I suffered to bring you this book” anyway. It’s like she’s taking inspiration from Nigel Slater’s kitchen diaries but has managed to get it totally wrong. And on top of that manages to make it all about herself rather than the food or her son. Again. No one cares how crap you are with deadlines.

Bang on. My takeaway from that extract is: CHAOS! PANIC! GUILT! Why on earth would I want to read that if I were feeling depressed?
Also, when does Small Boy get to graduate to Medium Sized Boy?

 

[Leonard]

Only from their website - they now do raspberry curd too...

English Heritage All Butter Passionfruit Curd

Buy the English Heritage All Butter Passionfruit Curd from our range of English Heritage food and drink gifts available online at the English Heritage gift shop.

www.english-heritageshop.org.uk

Just tried to buy some from Ocado and it’s sold out! The hausfrau influencer has been born....

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Off-thread Jackers but have wee all seen this? Trolls?! How very dare she!! (She has just had a baby by footballer Kyle Walker if you’re not familiar with the lovely Lauryn) and she’s objected to comments about her on this here forum

 

[FrumpyCat]

And her 'clever method' is to soak it in hot water for 10mins...sorry what? Just crush the clove by either crusher or knife and the skin will stay whole and can be chucked? Why does she always add so much effort to the most simple things

It was like when on DKL she said you could do this by putting garlic in the microwave. And Matt said 'for how long' and her face was all 'how the fuck should I know, I've never tried it'.

 

[Thank(space)you]

I have to say, one thing I do like about Jack is she isn't dull, she always gives us great content
I've not kept up with the hinch thread because it's getting dull as hinch isn't creating any new content, just keeps showing Ronnie and lardsnomes. I feared the jack thread would go the same way after DK finished, but I'm delighted to see it hasn't and Jack does not disappoint.

 

[Raker]

I can imagine the stewssaka
And balaclavabaklava almost made me laugh up a lung!

Just catching up but had to say @Instabums if you sling that just coughed up lung in a bowl and stick a “froached“ egg (I.e. if despite many years of cooking you somehow can’t tell the difference between fried and poached once you’ve finished with it, that’s perfect) on top and finally sprinkle liberally with either a packet of spicy niknaks or some slightly stale scampi flavoured fries (obvs depends on
your own levels of nausea on opening these stinkers), you’ll have yourself a divine, waste-free, semi-nutritious lunch. With very little washing up, do you’ve more time to sit in the garden, looking hawt.

hope this helps xx

 

[Bellybutton lint]

Someone bring me to speed!? Last time I checked in she had camped in her urban jungle garden with a she wee and a disgusting so called ‘toddy’

She is now bald and had a bath. And her fridge died.

Btw how is she going to post out all her books now that her post office isn't taking them?

Mental telepathy obvs.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

What on earth is this slop? And it is in her BOOK? UGH

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Who commissions her?! That looks like something I would produce so where’s my book deal? I could call it “Cop Come Cook: Lenny Briscoe; The Egg Years”.
I’m almost afraid to ask but what’s the bottom layer??

 

[J4n0Z]

Maybe she just has so many fridges in her shitty bungalow - like all poor people do - she can't remember which one has broken?

 

[Breakdance Badass]

Sorry for spamming but I’ve not been on Twitter for a while! Superfan seems to get ignored in the main, bit of a shame, she has such an inflated blinkered view of JM

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Can’t cook, I’m still a hoot. Hey pervs look at my boobs.

Getting my vote in early for this for next thread title

 

[Harrybosch]

Why is she going to make pizza bases with four pints of milk? Pizza dough doesn't contain milk! Also, just freeze the milk.

 

[Flumps]

Smeg fridges are so small inside. My mate has one and she opened the freezer and i just laughed. What a sham.

I have a Siemens* fridge freezer, which is so brilliant that when the freezer part died I bought a second hand one off ebay for £20 and cannibalised it for parts rather than buy a new one. Also, allowed me legitimately to take something electrical apart with screwdrivers which made my 8 year old inner self dance with joy.

*Snicker. It's also good for snickering.

 

[lipsticktaser]

Off-thread Jackers but have wee all seen this? Trolls?! How very dare she!! (She has just had a baby by footballer Kyle Walker if you’re not familiar with the lovely Lauryn) and she’s objected to comments about her on this here forum

Lauryn Goodman is an embarrassment to woman. She and her sisters and everything that is wrong with the influencer/reality tv culture. Total cretins. The way she is using that baby is so gross. Did you see Kyles ex posted the sex before she got the chance to make money from it?

 

[Ellabella]

Every fucking recipe has a dreadful, flowery prologue and a load of bullshit about how she (thinks she) invented it. Her editor should be sacked.

 

[lipsticktaser]

I Cannot with her foodbank shit. She’s trying to make out she’s the autistic person but she’s not. She talks a good game but when was the last time she done proper campaigning or volunteering. She doesn’t do anything unless it benefits her. If she wanted the recipes to go to food bake she would send them a pdf.