Jack Monroe #16 Queen of the freezer, bathtime teaser & blue tick pleaser

[poppycat]

I wish she'd stop name dropping Anthony Bourdain particularly when posting a photo of the most disgusting slop ever, crap poached eggs with hard yolks bunged on top of a load of other hideous looking thrown together ingredients then a packet of cheap crappy crinkle cut crisps sprinkled on top.
She is an insult to all things *culinary* and to insinuate that her food could in any way help when people are suffering from depression is beyond the pale.

 

[Pantomimehorse]

The Smeg has died ladies I repeat the Smeg is no more !!

 

[Harrybosch]

How not to react to a compliment.

 

[Ellabella]

SMEG are going to give her a fridge aren't they. (Why else double check the exact model she wants?
Also "limit screen time"?!
And vegan 90% of time.

I've not even got out of bed yet but I'm fuming.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

But Jack, if your fridge has broken and you’ve made 3k of cheesy mash, we all know there would be pictures everywhere.

We all know you’d be checking your warranty or calling for repairs. Not having a manic episode of using everything in the fridge.

Instead we’ve got her booby photos, trying to be Nigella again. It’s one big massive lie, the fridge isn’t broken you just wanted some attention as usual. Lies lies lies Jack.

 

[PennyLoafer]

Real subtle, Jack

Wait a minute. Leaving aside the blatant cup-rattling, she's debating which new Smeg fridge to buy? Aren't the tall ones at least a grand? And if her 'broken' one is only three months old, why doesn't she just get it repaired?

She's like Trump in that the lies, half-truths and contradictions come so thick and fast, you can't keep up. Except that with Trump, it's at least partly deliberate obfuscation designed to exhaust his gaslit audience; with Jack, I think it's just pure compulsive lying for the attention which is her oxygen.

She doesn't seem capable of self-reflection. It's like her reality doesn't touch the sides of any consensus reality at all. And yes, I know that's a rather grand speech over a Smeg fridge but it applies to pretty much everything that comes out of her mouth. Who was it that said she's turning us into fridge truthers?

Oh, and while I'm tossing around FANCY words like 'obfuscation'...

 

[LennyBriscoe]

It’s become worse actually, there’s a containment thread
Don’t go in there unless your stomach is strong enough to handle Jack’s peach and chickpea curry
You’ve been warned

Okay.....I wasn’t going to bring this up. But I feel I’m amongst friends. I’m not happy about this turn of events...but I seem to have developed a crush on Dominic Raab . I’m sorry! Please still let me chum you all along to Court . Actually, in a buck-passing fashion I am holding JM responsible! I was perfectly fine until I watched DKL....

 

[Pocahontas]

Aww she’s not going to be around as she’s limiting her Twitter use. Yep, and I’m the Queen of Sheba
View attachment 133560

Didn’t the last time she tried to ‘limit Twitter’ end up two hours later with her in a candlelit bath? Or her with a new haircut and reversed rat’s tail? Or her posing in a baggy crop top and midriff rocking a ‘what, this old thing?’ vibe?

Me confused as to what time away from Twitter means.

 

[PennyLoafer]

I can't stop laughing at this 'recipe'.

Delicious tin can recipe: Jack Monroe's anellini con cacio e pepe

Jack Monroe’s Tin Can Cook features 75 delicious recipes that use only canned foods and dried ingredients. Try her delicious, easy-to-make anellini con cacio e pepe.

www.panmacmillan.com

'Repeat as desired' - never in the history of human communication have three words been more redundant.

 

[Peachy9]

So, she had extra veg in to be able to include some in his packed lunch, but only had a pile of sugar for his breakfast? Okay then.

 

[chocolate choux]

I can't stop laughing at this 'recipe'.

Delicious tin can recipe: Jack Monroe's anellini con cacio e pepe

Jack Monroe’s Tin Can Cook features 75 delicious recipes that use only canned foods and dried ingredients. Try her delicious, easy-to-make anellini con cacio e pepe.

www.panmacmillan.com

That’s not a recipe, that’s an abomination

 

[Nottonightbabe]

View attachment 132150

The Smeg has died ladies I repeat the Smeg is no more !!

Mmmm warm bag of salad you say? Pesto anyone?

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Right, so everyone knows that the fridge breaking didn’t happen don’t we?
If it had, sure as hell there would’ve been a woe is me potatoes et al all over the kitchen and the door flung open and all these ingredients for us to see. The lack of pictures and evidence means it didn’t happen and was just a reason to bring Bourdain and that shit recipe into discussion.

She really is one of the weirdest people I’ve ever witnessed online and in person. Nothing, and I mean nothing adds up about her. There’s so many different strands that are all lies and attention seeking and that’s why we’ve got so many threads about her. It’s like her life is one big lie. Along with the censorship on her social media.

I find the whole recipes thing intriguing, how do these things actually get to print when it’s basically spaghetti hoops with cheese and pepper? A child could make that, surely that’s plagiarism from Heinz or something?

Also, could someone tell me what that piece of hair is at the front of her head? It just looks weird. Any news about Louisa and if she actually has moved out? And whoever keeps posting the hideous selfies of her, please stop, I nearly choked on my tea last night

 

[OhhBacon]

Just had lunch, not a huge event but cut my own salad leaves. Have been enjoying them for the last couple of weeks, they are a mixture of leaves that are cut and come again.

I planted these on day 1 of DK, the same day that Adam Frost tried to suggest planting lettuce or herbs, but if you remember Jack dragged it down to talking about people that have no outdoor space (genuinely have sympathy if that is the case but why can‘t we appreciate that some people do have space!)

I potted all seeds in pots, they are growing well and I don’t have to buy bagged salad. If Adam had been allowed to talk to people that have pots and space more people could be doing the same. For anyone who is interested he does a life on Insta on Fridays at 5pm.

 

[no-no]

This site is the gift that just keeps giving. Came on here for the KHM drama but have always despised this insecure phoney. Reminds me of Owen Jones (but armed with a tin of beans). Had the misfortune of seeing her on some BBC show recently when the news had finished, definitely told to play down the militant scruff image.

The furore around Jamie Oliver’s lockdown cooking show. She and her followers were saying it should’ve been hers - why? Plus she’s got some nerve doing vegan recipes when her meat ones involve the “100 chicken wings for £1” torture meat.

 

[Saturn.]

I think I'm going mad because you can pretty much freeze everything she lists, can't you??

Assuming of course that she has enough spare room in the freezer. Has anyone heard anything of Louisa in the last week or so?

 

[Breakdance Badass]

As others have said, the Bourdain thing - wow. A bad-taste insult to his talent and his memory. If she dares to frame this monstrosity in her book as a depressipe tribute to him, I will be writing to her publisher.

Im bloody raging how dare she mention Bourdain. I loved him and I think he would be horrified by her horse spunk cooker!

Last night I was telling my husband about horse spunkgate and he commented it’s obvious I’ve not been out the house in over a month

I thought it was dried banana

So did I!!!

 

[maytoseptember]

Colour me surprised that she ever worked in a supermarket. Was that before or after the cafe job, the nightclub job, the fire service job, the sex work, or the not being able to work?

Incidentally, was there not something shared recently (Twitter screenshots probably) saying that she was a prostitute in 2013. That was after she got famous! Somehow I’d assumed this phase (<cough>if it happened<cough>) would have to have been pre-fame. She won the Fortnum and Mason Judges' Choice Award that year.

 

[PoorPatrol]

I know it’s irrelevant because her fridge ain’t broken, plus the mash didn’t happen, but 3kgs mash 1kg butter? Is she not even capable of making mash and therefore translating it into a bullshit story? I put a fuck ton of butter into my mash and it’s still only about 125g to 1.5kgs potatoes. That makes about 2/3 of a decent sized saucepan full of mash. She made 3kgs so two saucepans of mash - with x4 packs of butter??? Wtf what a load of bollocks. Plus cheese Lies LIES LIESSSSSS I TELL YA!!

 

[Jelly Bean]

What on earth is this slop? And it is in her BOOK? UGH

View attachment 132712

Just because you can put random ingredients together doesn't make it a recipe. I really get the impression she just doesn't understand this sometimes.
I've bored you all with my story about when my daughter made me breakfast in bed when she was about 7 - it consisted of a burnt fried egg, marmalade and raisins sprinkled on top - but it really didn't look dissimilar to that picture. About as bizarre.