Jack Monroe #155 What a sad little life, Jack

[kachoochoo]

Thread Title thanks to me, I'm ashamed to say! but it was a long time coming!

She's done bugger all for a couple of days, so please forgive the lack of a synopsis. or indeed if you have a good synopsis, please supply it

please see the wiki for all of her evil deeds/various origin stories

and don't forget to check in with food and drink when it gets too much

 

[Silver Linings]

Nice one, Kach.

She’s posted the rando her old dress btw.

 

[PoorPatrol]

Sorry, I know this isn’t F&D, but what is the definitive butter pie thing recipe? I need to just see something.

I make my kids something I call cheese pie, but it’s basically just mash with a well in the middle, filled with baked beans, then the whole top covered in grated cheddar. I don’t think it’s a real thing, or am I accidentally doing a cultural chaos?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Well done @kachoochoo I didn’t have the strength to do a new thread. I’m furloughing myself for a few days. Also we need more grown ups who can do it!
Ex fire service, I tell ya, when I get back from having furloughed hands I am doing that lady fireman Grenfell ghoul list

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Sorry, I know this isn’t F&D, but what is the definitive butter pie thing recipe? I need to just see something.

I make my kids something I call cheese pie, but it’s basically just mash with a well in the middle, filled with baked beans, then the whole top covered in grated cheddar. I don’t think it’s a real thing, or am I accidentally doing a cultural chaos?

I’m afraid I have no idea, sorry.
“am I accidentally doing a cultural chaos?” made me laugh out loud though!

@kachoochoo thank you for starting the thread and congratulations on the thread title! Totally agree it was a long time coming!


“ex fire service” in JM’s new bio

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Here's a recap of what she did (sorry no fancy links to individual posts):
-forgot that she was supposed to have a rash
-forgot that she was supposed to have singed her scalp on the gas hob
-forgot that she was supposed to have handed in her book manuscript
-forgot that she was supposed to go up tahn for something
-listed all her tattoos which are all as terrible as expected
-bemoaned having to source and mastermind all her food; has apparently never heard of takeaways or deliveries

Lots of us learnt about the existence of butter pie.

We also finally saw the vegan cook-along video she did for the Guardian a few months ago that she failed to inform us of, presumably because it was a trash fire.

I can't say conclusively but I don't think she appreciated that I lovingly crafted a song made entirely from sounds she made. It's almost as if even she is sick of the sound of her own voice.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Sorry, I know this isn’t F&D, but what is the definitive butter pie thing recipe? I need to just see something.

I make my kids something I call cheese pie, but it’s basically just mash with a well in the middle, filled with baked beans, then the whole top covered in grated cheddar. I don’t think it’s a real thing, or am I accidentally doing a cultural chaos?

It’s a pie as in a pastry crust and lid all over, and slices of buttery potato and onions inside
I feel really bad for people who have lived their life not knowing about it
Also whilst washing up “you tried to kill a man with stuffing in a soup” came to mind and I cried laughing

 

[MarzBarzie]

Nice one, Kach.

She’s posted the rando her old dress btw.

View attachment 454119

What the actual bleeping duck? I know I’m kinda new around here, but has she actually, like actually right now, changed her bio to say ‘ex fire service’ because she’s feeling delusions of grandeur / superiority in referencing it in conversation just now?

What a funny little human being she really is.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

How many days until deadline?

 

[Pocahontas]

Pie Jesu, Marmalade - every time you post that photo I have flashbacks to that fateful day

 

[MarzBarzie]

What the actual bleeping duck? I know I’m kinda new around here, but has she actually, like actually right now, changed her bio to say ‘ex fire service’ because she’s feeling delusions of grandeur / superiority in referencing it in conversation just now?

What a funny little human being she really is.

I had to actually check. And yep...she’s actually saying she’s ex fire service!! On a positive note, it’s good to see her political allegiances are more clear. ;D

 

[BlendedSlop]

How many days until deadline?

View attachment 454132

Or, if we wanted to be pedantic about it...

(Calculations may not be 100% accurate but duck it, dates are dates etc)

 

[MarzBarzie]

How many days until deadline?

View attachment 454132

How many days until deadline, you ask?

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Or, if we wanted to be pedantic about it...

View attachment 454136

(Calculations may not be 100% accurate but duck it, dates are dates etc)

Why have you FaceTuned the 1 and 6? The 4 is going to feel really rubbish now.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Day 27 of telling Jack to take the wheelchair emoji out of her Twitter display name unless Vlad can find someone to go out and knobble her kneecaps. Stop banging on about being a gifted child as well, you're in your early thirties let it goooooooo.

Signed TS
(10 metre swimming certificate 1996)

 

[Blurp]

[QUOTE]Cariad
Fit like!....As a newly wed, I used to live in a flat on Chapel St in the late 1980's - just along from Mr G's night club and above an amazing bakers which sold lovely rowies now I want a buttery![/QUOTE]

I have memories of going out at lunchtime to celebrate the end of my postgrad diploma exams at RGIT in 1984, drinking myself sober (classmate's husband in Mr G's amazed that he'd watched me down 17 rum and cokes that evening and still make sense) and meeting former team mates from the Aberdeen Uni rifle team outside the Chapel Street bakery while getting butteries for the walk home (to Torry) and them wanting to know why I hadn't got drunk if it was the end of exams!

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Day 27 of telling Jack to take the wheelchair emoji out of her Twitter display name unless Vlad can find someone to go out and knobble her kneecaps. Stop banging on about being a gifted child as well, you're in your early thirties let it goooooooo.

Signed TS
(10 metre swimming certificate 1996)

The Yep.x in response makes me want to claw my eyes out.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

She’s put ex fire service in her bio to soak up any potential floating head TV slots surrounding this cladding controversy. Slots that should go to actual fire service staff, Grenfell survivors and campaigners, or leaseholders in a similar position?

Not someone whose dad sorted them out with a job vastly outpaced their open market rate, well over a decade ago now...? What value does she have to add to the conversation over than melodrama?

 

[queenfeline]

Not someone whose dad sorted them out with a job vastly outpaced their open market rate, well over a decade ago now...? What value does she have to add to the conversation over than melodrama?

Could apply the same line of questioning to her time in poverty tbh.

 

[ThunderClapForCapers]

How a lesbian comic changed the way we view female characters in film / Twitter is trending. The lead comic character is all sorts of familiar. Is it the lips, the hair, the simmering dress sense, the surly attitude? Love the reference to The Mercenary as a mix of money-orientated and military around the edges.