Jack Monroe #155 What a sad little life, Jack

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Soapy Dolphin

Gosh, babe same! Gas leaks seem to be my speciality. Our hob was leaking a tiny amount. It was detectable on the gasmanwoman's gadget but no one else could smell it. Same with an oven in a caravan. Gasman was impressed with that one. It feels like a (shit) superpower but is so annoying when you're going, "Can you smell that?!" and are met with blank looks. I can't rest until I've located the source. I have persuaded Mr Dolphin not to eat fish on some occasions because my nose was really not happy.
 
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ChickenPorridge

Ah, bragging Jack! Owner of a Mulberry bag (that most of us could only ever dream of) because she is a successful author of - counts on fingers - 6? 7 books? But wait, she is still struggling! I cry, for smol Monroe can still not afford the butter block or the forever home
 
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waffle maker

Why didn’t she sell the Mulbery bag before she went without butter/ grifted that lady’s winter fuel allowance? Surely that exactly why she says she buys all the designer stuff as investments...?!?
 
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Emmapism

The first thing I do if I'm a bit short on cash is sell stuff I don't use. Maybe Jack couldn't find the bag in her RENTED hoarder house? And rather than tidy up it was just easier to lie on Twitter about how she needed to tighten her belt.

The people that gave her tip money are likely to never be able to afford anything like a Mulberry bag.

As always, a class act that Jack.
 
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onlysunshine

I was the youngest in a family who LOVED TP. Haven't actually read his books but I did love that game!

https://giphy.com/VN5bRulMB7nhK
I hope that gif is what it looked like from the thumbnail! They are goats who go all stiff and/or fall over when they're excited or scared. Its caused by genetics from what I remember and that responsible owners generally try and minimise excitement/frightening. They're my favourite
 
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FunnyFuneral

Dont know where this will land but YES MancBee, I was a young adult in the 80s & all the stuff you say is true, we were strutting about in our knickerbocker traazers & new romantic blouses , most of the guys were wearing kajal kohl eyeliner coutersy of Rimmel, it amazes me that this is so forgotten. And my experience was in a small town so all very accepted. I think that people like Jack just look for, & therefore always find offence to be taken. Who fucking knows
 
Reactions: 39

bowiethesdmn

Have you played the first two Discworld point and click games? Don't recall much of the first one but the second was hilarious, can't imagine it's aged too badly either.

Jack-level effort at remaining on topic: Jack still sucks and if I was her publisher I'd massively delay publishing the damn book. Of course they're probably professional and I'm super petty.
 
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Blurp

I haven't got full sleeves of tattoos but I do have nine individual ones, and I also have a Mulberry bag from when I was prancing around working in Edinburgh in the 1990s. It certainly wasn't anywhere near a grand or even half at the time but my pretty decent tattoos would add up to well over that.

Of course, I got my tattoos done by really good tattooists (a couple of my tattoos were in magazines - people recognised them on me because they'd copied elements for their own! - and done by a known name in the tattoo world), so that's why, Jack ....
 
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HotesTilaire

Indeed he may have moved between the two more times than anyone else.
me but I had a job which involved going to No10 hence being aware that GB was living at 10 before becoming PM. Some of the key rooms used for guests/receptions/meetings are up the famous stairs. I guess Jack has never had the pleasure of being invited inside proper. The government art collection is very good, however I am more a fan of the work of esteemed frau @Alansbigplate

Can’t believe she’s been measures twice for clothing and both times someone harrumphed into their tape measure about her desire for traaaazers.

Edit to add - and I’ve got a tattoo and everything!!!?
 
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ChickenPorridge

How come this guy who also has flags in his bio didn't get called - what was it? A flag shagging gammon?
 
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Lanie

Does anyone else think the picture of her outside number 10 tells you something.

Not to be a truther but she looks to me like a tourist, perhaps a tourist who's just passing the area as she drops off/ visits her publisher. Like anyone would meet the PM stressed like that. I mean she looks like a desperate housewife and not in the good sense.
 
Reactions: 30
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