Jack Monroe #155 What a sad little life, Jack

[discolisa]

Third generation yo.

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(19th Sept 2015)

But who was the second generation?!

 

[Powershower]

Oh jack, when you don’t do any chaoses (chaosi?) we end up counting our teeth. Please do a chaos.

Ps I have 29 teeth and have had 3 removed

 

[GoLando]

I just put down the book I am currently reading to rush here and announce it just contained the word...

Hausfrau.

I’m now a lung down due to a hooting chaos.

 

[StringyMango]

@Bombastic . All the poor birds are with the angles now x

 

[DandyLion]

Thank you, do we have any evidence of how much she donated?

Probably duck ALL!!

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I used to work in the library of a teacher training college. In September, dozens of cheery fresh faced first years would arrive, taking out books about how to be a great teacher.

A few months later, after their first placements, the only book they wanted was one called "Getting the Buggers to Behave".

Jack wouldn't last 5 minutes in a teaching environment. She would imagine it's like a film, where the maverick genius tames the kids and finally earns their respect and devotion.

 

[Flash123]

Leftover chippy chips you melter.

 

[Spanner]

I’m triangulating myself massively here but my dad was a firefighter (a station officer, in the old terms. I think maybe that’s what Jack’s dad was too?) AND he was a union rep too. (I promise Jack’s dad is not my dad. My dad is very left-wing and anti-landlord)

Things I have got from my dad being a fireman; respect for the role, some really gruesome stories, unlimited fire engine rides throughout the 1980s.

Things I have not got from my dad being a fireman; LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE TO DO WITH BEING A FIREMAN - MY GOD WOMAN ARE YOU CRAZY?

 

[LennyBriscoe]

View attachment 455648Leftover chippy chips you melter.

Doesn’t look like the first commenter has a blue tick so rant about “don’t you know I don’t drink?!” incoming....SAVE YOURSELF DAN! DELETE THE TWEET

 

[HotesTilaire]

I think author and writer Jack means she was being obstinate, not belligerent. Clearly all those lunchtimes with her English teacher were wasted on her. Get a bleeping dictionary you berk.

Get well soon @Flash123! I hope your sense of taste and smell aren't impaired so you can enjoy some chippy chips when you're legally allowed out again.

Deceased

Get well soon @Flash123 have a lot of rest then also more rest, it’s a boomerang every time you feel better. Also could you test a few recipes?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[PunkyMonkey]

Evening Jack, thanks for getting my message out there

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Sweary post incoming (this may have been repeated in previous threads and I apologise).
0.5. Dear Jack.
1. duck off.
2. Go and finish your A levels and get a degree.
3. Then go and do a teaching course (PGCE etc).
4. Then tackle the horror that is the NQT year ( you will not be allowed to only teach ‘home economics’. Food technology teachers now often have to teach a number of other subjects as part of the cost cutting that schools have to undertake due to the austerity measures that you just love talking about.)
5. Then face secondary students day after day along with the accountability pressures placed on you by school leaders and OFSTED.
6. If you are one of the lucky ones to last longer than 5 years, try to climb the ladder to middle leadership.
7. After 10-18 years you might end up, in your words, a broken husk of your former self. Stripped of any self-confidence, suffering from a chronic pain condition and still loving the profession but unable to give it what it deserves.
8.But crack on, fall back on being a home ec teacher if all else fails.
9. duck off.

Don't forget that your GCSE classes will largely consist of kids who nobody else wants because their literacy, numeracy, command of English, attention span and/or behaviour is less than ideal for subjects requiring extended essay writing and they aren't any good at Art/Art's already got their full quota of kids put there by SLT because 'it's just drawing' - but SLT will still expect you to pull a whole room of good passes out of your arse. And you'll be put on cover/seclusion room for the rest of the week with no time to set up for the next class

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Well, no, it won't. Because good arthritis drugs aren't remotely designed to act upon pain - they're designed to act upon inflammation/the immune system. What she's most likely referring to here is a packet of Nurofen Max Strength Joint and Back (active ingredient - the equivalent of EXACTLY the same amount of Ibuprofen as can be purchase for 29p as a generic) - but the fancy packaging and £10 price tag makes people think IT'S BETTER.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Third generation yo.

View attachment 455547
(19th Sept 2015)

Third gen immigrant from Northern Ireland in the United Kingdom?

How mean she took him to a burning hotel, yet as Jack has never had a holiday then SB hasn’t either

 

[FunnyFuneral]

FFS. I have a congenital tooth condition where they are too soft and end up falling to pieces. I think I've had an abscess and root canal treatment in 80% of the fewer than normal teeth that were in my head, and then extraction once that failed. I remember sitting with a heated pad on my face and alternating ibuprofen and paracetamol. I certainly didn't cry and shout, and I was too bloody sore to poke myself in the jaw. I just effing tholed it like most people who aren't Jack the twit.

Me too x I whimper quietly to myself usually, it would hurt too much to be stretching your poor ouchy mouth wide like that & the thought of the vibration of the volume of shouting adding to it makes me wince. As to poking it . Some days I looked like Desperate Dan

 

[Cookiecookie]

In fairness I’ve had close to this and don’t understand how - assuming I grew extra teeth? 4 teeth removed in early secondary & then 3 years of braces, then 2 wisdom teeth removed in mid 20s that caused a shift in my teeth so annoyingly have one slight snaggle that’ll take 3 months of Invisalign to sort, but then covid happened but I don’t understand how she’s had all this done without the braces? I know a lot of adults have post braces shift but hers don’t have that post braces vibe, especially the bottom they’re very crowded?

I have a full set, including wisdoms, and mine aren't that crowded either. I promise I've got a regular sized mouth and jaw too, not a comedy style lantern jaw or anything!

 

[Flash123]

Deceased

Get well soon @Flash123 have a lot of rest then also more rest, it’s a boomerang every time you feel better. Also could you test a few recipes?

I was hoping I could try some of Jack’s Covid special recipes but they never materialised. I see what you mean about it being a boomerang. I am going through cycles of feeling cold and shivery, put on layers, take lemsip, sweat, feel tired, feel ok, try to eat then back again but not to complain. It is so long since I have had anything other than a mild cold it’s weird. I found a packet of chicken cup a soups in my cupboard and they are quite comforting. Luckily there are quite good delivery options near me for essentials too so it’s not been too bad.

my favourite part this evening was looking out my bedroom window and seeing the moon shining down!

 

[Lanie]

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Go and get it out. My mum's had a bad toothache a few months back she went straight to the dentist and it had spilt she got it out there and then. Cost her plenty though perhaps that why she's stalling.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Aw take care @Flash123 it’s not like other illnesses and feeling weirdly anxious and scared seems to hit late at night too. On the plus side you really get to know which tattlers are not on GMT.
Easy comfort food all the way, so long as you’re having something. Probably best not to add stuffing to whatever you’re having though. Not because of Covid, but because it’s a bleeping awful idea and once almost killed a man(c).

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

I’m triangulating myself massively here but my dad was a firefighter (a station officer, in the old terms. I think maybe that’s what Jack’s dad was too?) AND he was a union rep too. (I promise Jack’s dad is not my dad. My dad is very left-wing and anti-landlord)

Things I have got from my dad being a fireman; respect for the role, some really gruesome stories, unlimited fire engine rides throughout the 1980s.

Things I have not got from my dad being a fireman; LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE TO DO WITH BEING A FIREMAN - MY GOD WOMAN ARE YOU CRAZY?

Yeah!!! My dad too!!! I think her dad was an ADO. I think the thing is, there was a lot of pride around being in the fire service*. Everyone lived on the same roads by the station, Christmas parties for kids, a fire engine came to my house to bring presents because I was poorly. It was brilliant. I was (still am) so proud of my dad. So I completely understand that it was a bit of a thing.

What I am not, is qualified to fight fires or assess the structural integrity of buildings. My nephew likes to play with fire engine toys though so maybe we've got a 3rd genner on our hands

*Possibly there still is. My dad's been retired ages and mostly reminisces with his pals about the good old days when there were proper fires and no trazzzzzzzzzers on birds**

**He does not do that, he's a lovely man