Jack Monroe #141 Who dat?

[GothPrincess]

Jack, you utter fucking turnip. So buying 37p beans means you can afford a cotswald sideboard. By that theory then, you should have been able to buy a house with your saving. Holes in your theories love. Maybe if you’d used the saved beans money (Jack and the beanstalk) to save instead of on sideboards, you’d have your own house by now.
As for the insta reposting, you’re beyond vile.

Directing this at Jack because we all know she/they reads here.

 

[moosesauna]

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So a moderately well-off woman who says her own gender is 'whatever you want' (paraphrasing from that awful Guardian article) and pretends poverty is now dictating how best to portray groups she doesn't even represent properly? Yikes.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Raydog]

Life so hard for her. SB is 10, isn’t he? Not a toddler.

Arrgggj she is so annoying ! I’m up early and I’m a married full time employed mum of 3 in fecking lockdown it’s called getting stuff done ya prick

 

[colouredlines]

Jack - who evidence suggests didn't even bother to use vegan cheese in her vegan pastitsio #sponcon - now claims to be regularly making "simple everyday swaps" by replacing normal cheese with vegan cheese.

Nobody does this! I reckon a lot of us will swap a burger for a veggie burger, or try veggie meatballs or whatever, but vegan cheese is fucking rank. In fact, I would say it's the most likely thing to put a person off veganism (after Jack's sausage curry, of course).

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Oh for god's sake. Of course she didn't buy all that skincare and makeup herself. A long story about a makeup artist not turning up and her being sent out with a fistfull of cash to buy her own! Ffs squiggles WAKE UP

 

[LyraBalaqua]

Bloody hell , she had the media on speed dial getting her mug front and centre.

Coaxed out my arse.

 

[HotesTilaire]

How do we vote for Sitrus pieces?

 

[SarcasticEllis]

Jack’s camera knows. Maybe it gave the warning to BB.

 

[LyraBalaqua]

Hi Jack. You didn't take a massive break from TV after DKL. In fact, you went straight onto your finest TV moment ever: lingreenie.

We all know that your definition of truth is as flexible as your definition of carbonara or work, but please, PLEASE do not erase your masterpiece from the narrative.

.

Ah Lingreenie: A shed, raw pasta, Eamonn’s ‘what the fuck’ poker face and the Producer urging Ruth to fill the segment because Jack turned her back to camera and went silent.

Comedy Gold.

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Why on earth does she think that a cable knit jumper, collared shirt and chinos is a masculine aesthetic. It's what every preppy (and wannabe preppy) girl wore in America in the eighties to nineties! She is so focussed on stereotypes. #ladydoctor

 

[blurstoftimes]

my favourite video from the comic phase was the marrow dish, featuring what feels like ten excruciating years of watching her try to shake a couple of cherry tomatoes off a wooden board. Will she or won't she? Hitchcock could have learned a thing or two from Jack about creating cinematic suspense

the video starts right at the good bit

 

[discokebab]

I was thinking about this last night, trying to work out the various reasons the whole thing makes me feel sick. I came to the conclusion that it's basically a hoarder's handbook and the reason nothing like it has been published before is that hoarding is an actual mental health condition so you'd imagine most publishers would steer clear of #toptips about how to use the dryer fluff / empty loo rolls / newspapers you can't bring yourself to throw out

We've recently had some fresh reference material come it at work about hoarding and signs of self neglect. I can be prone to mild hoarding mostly borne from eco worries rather than anything else but luckily can say 'enough is enough' and put something in the bin/recycle, but that line can be very easily fuzzed for people for so many different reasons. Be clever with the items in your house but don't do yourself in trying to do half this shit. My best way to combat this so far has been to offer up stuff in bulk on free sites/Marketplace, especially packaging. Gets the four huge boxes of it out of my loft and onto ebay sellers etc.

Hey Jack!
I've got three bin bags drying on my washing line right now! used them to collect leaves, gave them to my Mum and Dad full for the allotment and they brought them back. Gonna dry them out and reuse them for more leaves.
You're welcome.

Also re: the pre-warning to Linda re: cabal. I think this is likely too. I was really careful in my initial email to them and response to their woeful reply to stick very much to a simple narrative without any references to receipts, puddles etc but I think the seed was already planted in the social media team (blergh) before I even considered sending something. 27k Viggle knows whats going on though and I dig it.

 

[Scotty1976]

Just because ‘others have it worse’ doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid or not allowed. Please always ask how to do things because the fact that you’re even talking about how you are feeling - even if it’s to us non food experts who don’t dry orange peels on radiators - is really great.

Just because ‘others have it worse’ doesn’

Just because ‘others have it worse’ doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid or not allowed. Please always ask how to do things because the fact that you’re even talking about how you are feeling - even if it’s to us non food experts who don’t dry orange peels on radiators - is really great.

To anyone who is feeling down or not themselves, please know that you can always DM me (I’m pretty sure I have that option ticked!). I can offer poor to average chat. You are important and you matter.

Thank you .You have all been so lovely it's much appreciated. I guess I just need to take better care of myself .Will get wrapped up and get dog walked .I might just lurk a bit for a wee while .Take care everyone.

 

[jenny2603]

Oh and what's this under the horrible exploitative video she's decided to torment us all with again.

So naturally what replies there are come from thicko squiggles telling her how wonderful she is.

 

[HarderFaster]

Whoever told her those trainers look good is definitely a frenemy. The puddle ain’t throwing up the luxe shit like it used to.

They’re ugly in their own right but I get it when they’re worn as part of a chunky, street aesthetic.

This does not work when dressed like yer da in chinos and a cable knit. Throw them the fuck away, Jackie.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

One of the vegan insta accounts with a large following has now tagged Paul McCartney into the complaints.

I can’t see that comment, but the viggs are not letting this one go...

 

[colouredlines]

I have just got in from the doctor (infection still raging and travelling to other parts of my body ). She was a nice lady doctor but she was wearing traaaazzzers, a cable knit jumper, had a No2 buzzcut and we talked about her girlfriend. She would have been most insulted if I had said that her outfit had a masculine aesthetic (and I know her well enough to say that sort of thing). She just wears what she feels comfortable in, and quite frankly no one should care.

I'm a bit pissed off that I still didn't get a prescription for red lipstick to make me feel better.

Lady doctors often suggest female gendered cosmetics to people that have a masculine aesthetic in an attempt to improve their mood. Clearly I wasn't masculine enough to warrant red lipstick.

I'm still laughing at her masculine aesthetic a day later, because...it's a fucking jumper. It's the most basic, least gendered item of clothing around. The only time it would be worthy of comment would be if she wore it on the beach in summer, and even then the comment wouldn't be "ooh how edgy" but "are you feeling okay?"

 

[Vanelope]

My considered opinion on the gender debate is that it is making gender a case of glitter and long hair equals girl, trucks and flat shoes makes a boy without all of the range of how a person can be. It is regressive. I worry about young people who feel they have to change their bodies because it doesn’t fit a very narrow idea of how they think they should feel. I don’t want to be an exclusionary feminist but i do want to be a scientifically based one.