Jack Monroe #134 Suffer the little squiggles, for I am The Poor

[Flash123]

This things? Haven't had for years, might have a snoop in the shop, though some needed two cups of tea from being so dry!

View attachment 383717

Yes!!! These!!


I have 5 siblings and there are various favourite things we like our mum to make.

My brothers love these!

I prefer a “pineapple slice” basically a buttery biscuit digestive base, buttercream on top then the tinned shredded pineapple on top. (This is much nicer than it sounds-in the morning I will ask my mum for the actual recipe)

 

[HarderFaster]

I think I'm guilty of having done it once on one of threads but it did not occur to me that it could be ablist and as an adult and parent of children with additional needs I should know better. I'd like to apologise for that and now that I know about it, I won't do it again.

Jack has used that type a few times too but mostly in sarcastic responses when dealing with trolls IIRC.

Yes I’ve done it too. My friend in work uses a screen reader so I should really know better. Apologies - will bear in mind from now on.

 

[Alansbigplate]

And can we assume that for said £5 we get absolutely bollock all except empty promises and copious excuses?

Could you just wait til my assistant is back from furlough

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I’ve put it behind a spoiler now so people don’t have nightmares.
Luckily Louisa Compton left with the Brexit tins so now no more Brexit tins of beans can suffer this fate.

Oh no my lovely I was being sarcastic not thread police. It is a truly hideous meal but we ought to be used to it by now

 

[bladiesla]

Why are friends not intervening?

 

[Lanie]

Also it's a bit bad if people still don't get the point of the thing you have founded and actually explain they are doing the very thing you want them to do as if it's their own idea.

Eesh petal a bit more advertising the cause me thinks

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Why are friends not intervening?

Shes doesn’t have any.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I think I'm guilty of having done it once on one of threads but it did not occur to me that it could be ablist and as an adult and parent of children with additional needs I should know better. I'd like to apologise for that and now that I know about it, I won't do it again.

Jack has used that type a few times too but mostly in sarcastic responses when dealing with trolls IIRC.

I may have done it as well (if not here then definitely elsewhere). Genuinely sorry too.

 

[Captainmouse]

QI talking about Mary poppins! Vlad?

 

[Alansbigplate]

Christ on a bike (topical to where I am on my Grunka) she is a machine! Talk about the grift that keeps on giving...

I know this is small scale this week but “can not” is one word and “thankyou” is two . Thanks to the lovely @Brian Butterfield for the screenshot. Not sure who it is in the picture though
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So much this week to be affected (effected?) by, but I’m not sure I’ll ever get over Jack as Wired for Sound Cliff. @Alansbigplate, you are the Marcus Rashford of lols!

Y’know Lenny, in the future when my grandchildren say ‘what did you do in lockdown Grandad Alan?’ I’ll be able to say ‘behold my body of work’. Taylor Swift released two albums, but did she produce this? I think the duck not.

 

[Walkdengirl]

Why are friends not intervening?

Because she doesn't appear to have any now. I think they have all got fed up with her narc rages

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Y’know Lenny, in the future when my grandchildren say ‘what did you do in lockdown Grandad Alan?’ I’ll be able to say ‘behold my body of work’. Taylor Swift released two albums, but did she produce this? I think the duck not.

Alan you are just perfect

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

I’ve been here since day 1, rarely post but like pretty much everyone’s comments
(3 children 1 who is actually autistic, business and a husband who I rarely see so IM BUSY)

But I’ve also been following Mack Jonroe for years
Prior to this. And this is the most erratic she’s been.

is it because of another failed relationship? Or because of lockdown? Or is it a Dont duck With Cats scenario?

Is she getting worse because she knows we dissect all that she does?

It's the rejection. Her property (the Mrs J Mk III) has failed to comply and she's tried everything to get her back, but it's not working.

Just look at the evidence.

Loads of nasty, sarcastic comments and blaming the woman for things that were duck all to do with her.

Then not saying anything.

People are picking on meee.

Then not eating.

Not sleeping.

I'm so sexy photos.

Then I'm having a LOVELY TIME.

People are picking on meeeee.

Then I'M DEAD INSIDE.

I'm suicidal.

I've hurt myself.

I'm so happy.

I'm dead inside.

I'm great.

People are picking on meee.

I've hurt myself.

I'm not eating.

I'm eating soooo much.

I'm soooooo happy I've gone somewhere you could be.

I'm sooooo sexy.

People are picking on meeeeeeeeeeee.

I'm not coping.

I'm in hospital.

I'm poor.

I'm sick.

I'm poor.

Brief pause for I HAVE MONEY.

I HAVE COMPANY.

Back to the nasty snipes and digs.

I'm DOING GREAT.

Then silence.

SOME BASTARD HAS COVID.

I'M ABOUT TO DIE OF COVID.

I STILL HAVE COVID.

Look how sexy I am.

I'm not sleeping.

Oh, tit, I forgot, I HAVE COVID.

I'm BETTER THAN YOU LOOK AT ME IN YOUR NICHE.

I'm poor.

duck, that backfired LOOK AT MEEEEE

People are picking on meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I'm ill. I'm not sleeping. I'M ALONE. I'm POOR.



Next is falling down the stairs, I think. Something about being soooo tired from saving the little urchins. Or is moving day too close for that?

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Because she doesn't appear to have any now. I think they have all got fed up with her narc rages

I wonder how many missed calls she must have from her agent at this point, surely they’ve noticed. Keep an eye out for that email disappearing from her bio in the next few days...

 

[LennyBriscoe]

My patreon starts at £5

Do you accept payment in Lion Bars?

 

[sioc]

My grunka of thread 31 is complete. Started off funny, ended up a bit sad. She's really very desperate for approval.

Like just stop searching yourself? She gets so much actual positive attention from squiggles but she has to namesearch and constantly deflect and defend herself because she can't bear being criticised.

 

[Blurp]

I really picked the right afternoon to be reorganising my kitchen and moving furniture in readiness for the arrival of my new fridge-freezer, didn't I? It's taken me until now to catch up! Sadly it's not a £3000 Smeg but a Hotpoint on which I was delighted to get a deal plus a discount. As I don't have an absolutely ginormous hall in my not-at-all-crappy (owned) cottage, it just had to fit in the space left for it between the cabinets. I've put all the magnets back on so it looks good when I do all my television interviews and videos.

I haven't been able to see the attachments but I gather that twit is being a total arsewipe again, making a fool out of herself and the wheels are starting to come off her grifting shitshow.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Do you accept payment in Lion Bars?

I would prefer straight up cash to PayPal

 

[Lanie]

Al

Y’know Lenny, in the future when my grandchildren say ‘what did you do in lockdown Grandad Alan?’ I’ll be able to say ‘behold my body of work’. Taylor Swift released two albums, but did she produce this? I think the duck not.

Alan you nearly killed me. I choked and tea came out my nose.

 

[jenny2603]

Shes doesn’t have any.

Apparently she had to withdraw from her friendship circle due to the activities of a mysterious gang of bullies hell bent on driving her out of crappy Bungalow.