I’m hitting report now #exhortation
Jack Monroe #134 Suffer the little squiggles, for I am The Poor
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I am dead!Y’know Lenny, in the future when my grandchildren say ‘what did you do in lockdown Grandad Alan?’ I’ll be able to say ‘behold my body of work’. Taylor Swift released two albums, but did she produce this? I think the duck not.
Yay.
Ive actually been working behind the scenes with @Alansbigplate
to be completely honest, I only learned that it was offensive from disabled people I follow on twitter. and, yeah, we live and learn and do better, don't we
It's alright, we can settle up later otherwise it just gets nasty.
The horse gif triggered a coughing fit. How can I possibly get all my conspiracy gitting done before bed when this website is not a COVID-safe workplace? I'm DMing Boris Johnson on Twitter about it now.
Also I have worked out why she's writing to her mp every week?!
Does anyone remember when Richie. In bottom is outraged and says Im writing a letter to my mp and Eddie says why and he says because I love her.
Cracked the Case. Edited to add I have no idea who her mp is. I may have just done chaos.
She did an interview tonight for tomorrow. What happens if something big happens won't that be a waste of time? Surely all morning telly is live isn't it? All those sleepy eyed people chatting with landmarks behind them. I never knew so many people lived so close to the Eifle tower or london bridge
Does anyone remember when Richie. In bottom is outraged and says Im writing a letter to my mp and Eddie says why and he says because I love her.
Cracked the Case. Edited to add I have no idea who her mp is. I may have just done chaos.
She did an interview tonight for tomorrow. What happens if something big happens won't that be a waste of time? Surely all morning telly is live isn't it? All those sleepy eyed people chatting with landmarks behind them. I never knew so many people lived so close to the Eifle tower or london bridge
Done an interview “for the morning” what? Surely the news is always live and red-hot, and needs people who know what they’re talking about? She’ll be garbling on about the Times paywall, and boxes being for ten days that were for five, her “thousands of DMs”, David Cameron’s mate, and how everyone from Rish mate to Marcus consulted her as the oracle of poverty.
Well apparently her friends were reading Tattle and sending her screenshots, so if were her I would've friend-dumped them too, that's utterly cunty.
Or...maybe (whisper it) she was lying...
On a grunk but when I was reading about the Protestant Traybakes my first thought went to the Protestant birthday parties I went to and they served apple and Mars bar sandwiches on softy soft soft white bread. I was not used to that in my Catholic house because it was probably a sin at the level of 10 Hail Marys and an Our FatherIf anyone wants to immerse themselves Jack’s Ni cultural religious heritage please try a Mars bar and apple sandwich (it’s actually a guilty pleasure of mine) they used to serve them in the 90’s in the dunkin donuts in great victoria street- I think it is a centra now
Baking column - Birthday party treats - Ulster Herald
I have lovely memories of my own birthday parties and going to the parties of my family, cousins and school friends and all the lovely treats that youulsterherald.com
SorryNotSorry for the momentary diversion!
Be careful. I also sought to alert Boris Jonson to this outrage but accidentally launched my campaign at @B_0RIS_J0HNS0N_ instead. The guy is going ballistic in my DMs. Threatening to boot me square in both holes (face and arse- he hasn't noticed the other one yet).
I don’t get how you can still be so bad at being on camera when you’ve done a course specifically for presenting and you’ve had a fair few tv appearances. How can you not even improve a little bit?
I did a two day course years ago on speaking where we had to watch ourselves and analyse it and I’d improved greatly - it’s not even the main part of my job.
She walked out of DKL a presenter too. I expect it's the price of trading with the magic wishing puddle, for every sideboard it grants you another bit of your talent leaves you.
I can’t quote across threads but thread #133 page 17 post 338
Oh my god, of course. I’m so sorry. I know it’s not your fault. You do so much for others, not just your amazing gifs but just that you’ve got such a big heart. It’s my fault really. I’m so selfish. If you dm me your PayPal, I’d happily give you something to keep the wolf from the door. I don’t have much though but I’ll give what I can. I live in a cave, on a fictitious coastline, just outside Whatchamacallit. I know! I’ll sell a kidney! I’m sure I’ve read about that somewhere. You just keep doing what you’re doing please. It’s SO important. I’m insignificant. We all are. It’s all about you.Could you just wait til my assistant is back from furlough
PS If you have any spare philosopher’s stones, I’d gladly pay through the nose for one, just so I can look youthful too. This snake oil I got off eBay isn’t doing anything. I look worse than your older, rougher sister.
Stairs? In a bungalow?
(Said as traazers on a bird)
Ps I know her crappy rented bungalow has Stairs
She could take some inspiration from The Young Ones to make sure those rent payments go through:
Darling fascist bully boy, give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loins be fruitful in the belly of your woman, Comrade Jack (PS - no need for identity checks, just Google my tattoos)
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