When I had a feral toddler of my own (and bloody hell, I miss those days), the usual method of dealing with those was to squish them into my hands with a dressing of dribble whilst she pelted off to ascend the tallest, scariest looking slide populated by the tallest, scariest looking lads sitting on the top of it with their cans of cheap lager. They always helped her, even when she informed them she was three years old and perfectly big enough to do it without their help. (Yes, she did really talk like that - I blame my reading her everything AA Milne did, as I'd grabbed a box set for Ā£2 from the charity shop which, along with a decrepit copy of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass that used to be my sister's and my High School prize for literature (a book of animal verse) and Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats, seemed to turn me into a reincarnation of my (terribly posh) Grandmother the moment I opened my mouth.I get a horrible feeling she is absolutely loving this tit. Makes her feel important.
Today has been a good day for her - inserting herself into Twitter spats (whilst pretending to be the voice of reason) and the prospect of St Jack of the Unholy Slop single handedly advising people what to do with a half sucked Opal Fruit and and packet of Wotsits.
Jack Monroe #127 No-spend year
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It LEFT!
nannies work at your home / only look after your kid(s) and childminders work from their own home usually with multiple children? that would be my
guess?!
Does a 10 year old need a nanny or a childminder tho
āGet to duckā
Seriously though, thank gawd for the humour here. Jack acting like this is her moment, sheās so busy, everyoneās asking for her expert opinion, and barely hiding the fact that sheās loving this, is one of my least favourite Jacks.
Iād call her a bleep but she lacks the warmth and depth.
One is compulsorily registered by Ofsted and you can claim help with childcare costs if you are poor whilst in their own home, the other one will have qualifications, but not required to have registration (it's an option), working in your home. Oh, and the former is a self employed person you sign a business contract with, the other is your employee that you sign an employment contract with. More or less. An Au Pair would make more sense for her, as there are definitely spare rooms and they're cheap. If she had the kid often enough, that would be.
I think sheās just invented her friend to try to scaremonger, not that sheās considering one for SB. The same with her sisters āexamsā - trying to cover all possible routes of outrage.
Even fuckwit Boris managed to announce the website (yep, same one as always) during his address to the nation. It's a sad state of affairs when Boris is the more competent one.
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Ooh this reminds me I screenshot the peopleās Princess for us all earlier - itās what she wouldāve wanted
Hard relate.
Yet unable to use Google ( other search engines are available)
Fake self deprecating Jack can get in the sea
It never helped anyone anyway.
I'm more upset by lockdown larder than actually lockdown at this stage. (The stage is post-wine).
Jack right now.
Of course it's in other people's nature to just be selfishly sick and take up hospital beds for laughs. Wanker.
OH duck OFF YOU UTTER bleep!!!
She is seriously pissing me off
She is seriously pissing me off
That question about tinned plum tomatoes 
I feel like you will need extra Del monte bingo squares...... if they want to get their moneyās worth they will set up a few alt accounts with various āIāve found a can of delmonte pineapple rings/ mandarin segments/ potatoes , what can I doā
To which the reply will obviously be BUNG IT IN A CURRY
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