Jack Monroe #127 No-spend year

[Tabitha D]

Jack’s not responded to those Lockdown Larder requests for some time. (Not that there were that many of them, from what I can see). Bored already?
On the plus side, some of the squiggles are giving their own suggestions and they look better than anything Jack could come up with.

 

[Traazers]

Everyone wants to be a maverick. It seems that the Squiggles don't realise that not everything goes together, either - there's a lot of I have oats, soup and chocolate, what to do? and surely the answer is eat them separately and have 3 nice dishes rather than one bowl of primordial soup?

Anyway, this made me nostalgic for disco toilets in pre-covid days:

View attachment 373435

I saw this but I've just realised it's SPAGHETTI HOOPS

 

[ScamSandwich]

Best one yet!

Just made the mistake of looking at more answers on her lockdown ladder post. What is wrong with people?

If you have an apple, or rice pudding, or mince pies, or chocolate, just eat them. There is nothing you need to do with those things, other than eat them. That's it! No need to turn it into something. It already is something. It's food, and you can eat it!

Please tell me I'm not the only Frau who looks at a yoghurt and thinks 'tasty, I'll have it for breakfast' rather than 'hmmm, what a conundrum. WWJD

Greedy goblin like me would have gobbled up the yoghurt before I could turn to the keyboard to ask someone.

 

[maytoseptember]

Why is everything cooked long and slow? Why doesn't she grasp that tinned chickpeas are already cooked and don't need 30 minutes to soften? WTF is a "slow slow cook"?

The fact she thinks tinned chickpeas soften with slow cooking makes me wonder whether she’s ever eaten a bloody chickpea. They don’t soften. They always retain their shape and have plenty of bite. I love chickpeas and she always describes cooking them until softy soft and THAT NEVER HAPPENS!

 

[ScamSandwich]

Jack’s not responded to those Lockdown Larder requests for some time. (Not that there were that many of them, from what I can see). Bored already?
On the plus side, some of the squiggles are giving their own suggestions and they look better than anything Jack could come up with.

Jack is meanwhile saving the country, OK??????!!!!

Can we (not) have #keepcalmandcarryon Jack , please?

 

[Fruitjack]

I ordered a can of banana blossom in this weeks shopping out of curiosity. I'll let you know how it goes!

As a level 7 vegan AND ponce I’m here to tell you that fresh banana blossom in Keralan curry is delicious, but tinned stuff is totally meh. Best use I’ve found is stewed in hot Korean flavours with pickles.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Squiggle: I have some radiator mushrooms, a kilo of mayonnaise, six prunes and a desire for self-flagellation, what should I do with it?

Jack:

View attachment 373382

@Boyo it's a pun on ouroboros, a symbol of a snake eating its own tail.

That’s the best thing I’ve seen on here

 

[crystaleyesd]

In her likes. Oh dear, looks like the cursed writers block has struck our maverick creative once again

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

No 2 interested me.....and if I was the SNP in question I would be kicking up a storm about how Dominic Cummings did the same with no repercussions.

She did it in Scotland. As far as I understand she can’t be prosecuted for anything she did on the England side of the border because the law wasn’t in place but she went into various places in Scotland as well as part of her train journey being there so Police Scotland can act.

 

[MancBee]

Everyone wants to be a maverick. It seems that the Squiggles don't realise that not everything goes together, either - there's a lot of I have oats, soup and chocolate, what to do? and surely the answer is eat them separately and have 3 nice dishes rather than one bowl of primordial soup?

Anyway, this made me nostalgic for disco toilets in pre-covid days:

View attachment 373435

I have just finished my meal and that is the picture I return to. I've got bile rising.

 

[Harrybosch]

See now, Harry - you’re just needlessly simplifying things. An apple, a mince pie, a yoghurt - they all need to be slow cooked with a raw onion.
PS - Dare you to get WWJD as a lockdown tattoo.

Completed it, mate.

 

[Captainmouse]

She did it in Scotland. As far as I understand she can’t be prosecuted for anything she did on the England side of the border because the law wasn’t in place but she went into various places in Scotland as well as part of her train journey being there so Police Scotland can act.

Police Scotland have confirmed she had been charged with alleged culpable and reckless conduct

 

[HarderFaster]

Forgive me but what does “Pawroboros” mean?

Sorry I’m gonna be a (wo)mansplain-y wanker here and the question is probably in jest so... call me head or whatever you will.

The ouroboros is the image of a snake eating its own tail and symbolises eternal life/rebirth/the circle of life/even a phallus in a vagina... it appears in loads of ancient mysticism incl. Egyptian/Ancient Greek/Viking etc etc.

Jack is trying to be a cute lil dweeb by making this into a cat pun. It doesn’t work because she’s a bleeping ghastly demon.

Incidentally I am a huge cat lover but think Cooper is highly overrated.

 

[LyraBalaqua]

The fact she thinks tinned chickpeas soften with slow cooking makes me wonder whether she’s ever eaten a bloody chickpea. They don’t soften. They always retain their shape and have plenty of bite. I love chickpeas and she always describes cooking them until softy soft and THAT NEVER HAPPENS!

Salt and Pepper chickpeas; put on a baking tray, drizzle with oil , in oven for 15-20 minutes then season with salt and pepper. Crunchy and delicious.

 

[Scotty1976]

Well it looks like Campbell's don't take no tit .

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Squiggle: I have some radiator mushrooms, a kilo of mayonnaise, six prunes and a desire for self-flagellation, what should I do with it?

Jack:

View attachment 373382

@Boyo it's a pun on ouroboros, a symbol of a snake eating its own tail.

This is amazing! How can someone just holding an egg look so ominous!!!

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

Well it looks like Campbell's don't take no tit .

When was this? It looks like it might be Welsey Metcalfe AKA theamazingtrollman.

 

[Boyo]

Sorry I’m gonna be a (wo)mansplain-y wanker here and the question is probably in jest so... call me head or whatever you will.

The ouroboros is the image of a snake eating its own tail and symbolises eternal life/rebirth/the circle of life/even a phallus in a vagina... it appears in loads of ancient mysticism incl. Egyptian/Ancient Greek/Viking etc etc.

Jack is trying to be a cute lil dweeb by making this into a cat pun. It doesn’t work because she’s a bleeping ghastly demon.

Incidentally I am a huge cat lover but think Cooper is highly overrated.

head.

 

[Formal Chicken]

This cracks me up, the obvious desperation of wanting Marcus to like her and thank her for what she has (not) done. Take the hint love!

 

[LyraBalaqua]

Sorry if this has already been highlighted but what daft twit needs advice on party food from Slow and Low Jack Monroe?