Has she nodded off already?
I deleted my earlier sweary tweet.
I deleted my earlier sweary tweet.
Jack Monroe #127 No-spend year
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Her obsession with slow cooking everything into unidentifiable slop may be the last straw for me today.
Why is everything cooked long and slow? Why doesn't she grasp that tinned chickpeas are already cooked and don't need 30 minutes to soften? WTF is a "slow slow cook"? Paella rice takes about 20 min to cook. If you overcook it, or drown it in too much liquid, it's bleeping gross. She knows nothing about cooking FFS.
On the one hand, I would like DKL to come back without Jack, just to piss her off. On the other, the flying monkey attacks that would await her replacement are a poisoned chalice I wouldn't wish on anyone!
On the one hand, I would like DKL to come back without Jack, just to piss her off. On the other, the flying monkey attacks that would await her replacement are a poisoned chalice I wouldn't wish on anyone!
But she is mackie, #southend super spreader, rules do not apply to her only the gross public transport using plebs. Has anybody told her it’s not Sunday?Exactly this. She probably had her phone camera(s) at the ready for the first glimpse of an empty shelf.
I'm lucky to live near a 24 hour ASDA () and on the rare occasion I go shopping it's like a covert operation. Go at a quiet time, be in and out of there as quickly as I can, and avoid people as much as possible. Not stand around chatting tit while dozens of strangers potentially pass on their germs (or I pass on mine!).
I understand missing family - I really, really do - but you don't get to lecture people on Twitter about the importance of adhering to the rules while stretching and even outright breaking them yourself at every opportunity (then telling everyone about it, obvs).
Slopbot, is that you?
Oh bleeping hilarious. Hundreds of people dying everyday ,people at the end of their tether and children suffering from lack of schooling and socialising . Hope you enjoyed your Edinburgh trip cos it doesn't look like you would be allowed up for a while due to Scotlands lockdown.
What's everyone's favourite type of Letdown Larder contributor, BTW? I'm torn between the ones who have fancy ingredients that Jack clearly doesn't know anything about (eels, banana blossom, chip shop chips) and the hi Jack I've got some bread, any ideas? crowd...
Did someone reference the hunger games on here yesterday with regards to the odds never being in her favour?
Yes. Yes they did.
Yes. Yes they did.
Where's Jack gone? Maybe Louisa Compton's stealing all the bandwidth again.
Hi, Jack. I've got a frozen steak pie, some chips, some peas and a tub of gravy granules. Any ideas?
Hi, Jack. I've got a frozen steak pie, some chips, some peas and a tub of gravy granules. Any ideas?
Probably having a medical emergency or stepped on some broken glass or something.
My favourites are the ones who have bought something without any idea what to do with it. “Hi Jack, I bought a tin of artichokes for no reason at all and without any knowledge of how to use them.” Maybe it’s me but I’ve never chucked a random item in my basket for a laugh. Also, what would they have done if Jackie had not been on hand to suggest bunging it in a curry? Would it just sit in their cupboards until it was time to donate it to their kid’s Harvest Festival collection?
JM, the equal opportunity spreader. Stalking every aisle to find the Fam. Why the pissing piss? Last night you were poorly...remember?
Covid spittle! That's definitely going to be my phrase of the week.
Cook for a long time until softy softy with any spice (all the same) and fold the granules in at the end.
Lockdown Larder: Same Slop, Different Lockdown
Hi @TVC15 there’s a really interesting documentary about a tv presenter with ASD. Not sure if or how you could access it where you are
The thing is, Chris managed to get a tv career in the 80s and maintain it AND be something of a national treasure.
I guess he doesn’t have RA and ADHD and he isn’t non-binary so he had it easy
The thing is, Chris managed to get a tv career in the 80s and maintain it AND be something of a national treasure.
I guess he doesn’t have RA and ADHD and he isn’t non-binary so he had it easy
God, she's a pain the arse and the people who ask her dumb questions are too. Just Google it you bellends! 
My favourite type is: ‘Hi Jack, I’ve got a glut of leeks - problem is, I really don’t like leeks. Don’t like them as a side, either. What do you suggest I do with them?’
This may be her most short-lived Lockdown Larder ever. Which is saying something, considering her last one lasted about a day and a half before it was promptly forgotten about.
Whenever anyone says bellend I think of @Billybellend now!
Who “folds in” green beans (Jack, I know) folding is a very specific term which has no real use outside of baking where you are trying to keep the air in, no?
Who “folds in” green beans (Jack, I know) folding is a very specific term which has no real use outside of baking where you are trying to keep the air in, no?
That was actually my dinner last night
. Obvs I put it all in slow cooker until it was softy soft soft, then bunged it in a curry.ETA lumpyspaceprincess.. great minds
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