Jack Monroe #119 She says lots of things, many of which are false

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

The only thing more boring would be if she'd shared whatever she dreamt of this week (I tend to find other people's stories of their dreams very boring....sorry)

I immediately stop listening if somebody starts talking about dreams. Why would I care what they dreamt about?!?

 

[Scotty1976]

Touch wood, I haven't had CV19 (though I did have a few weeks of terrible stomach pains and a low fever for which I got antibiotics and omeprazole), but I had real flu (as opposed to a bad cold called flu) several Christmases ago. All I could do was sleep or lie exhausted in bed in between forcing myself occasionally to take the dogs out. I couldn't eat, couldn't read, couldn't string two words together. I wasn't busy making sense on social media.

Too many lies mean that I just don't believe her symptoms are that bad. Let's not forget that her last brush with the NHS was for an eye coloured by make up.

I'm sure I had it late January ,early February was totally knackered with dry throat, couldn't stop coughing and was getting hot flushes . Just took it to be possible menopausal . Parents Also felt not well after just so pissed off with people not sticking to rules ,like my neighbours going to your boyfriend's and your daughter's doing the same is just making those who stick to the rules suffer even longer

 

[NomDeGuerre]

I immediately stop listening if somebody starts talking about dreams. Why would I care what they dreamt about?!?

I once dreamt that JM was feeding me an enormous, buttered baguette and woke up immensley thirsty, which is nothing if not psychologically very interesting.

 

[ScamSandwich]

Is she trying to make everyone think her temp is so high that she’s hallucinating? (And yet... still able to operate Twitter juuuuust fine.)

How 'strange' that a coven Frau had the same thought.. happens sometimes.
Is that maybe what got me here in the first place...?

So so glad she is on the mend, going from barely able to eat a cracker to an endless stream of culinary consciousness within a few hours.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Is brown lemonade something to do with kidney infections?

Bedtime . When I wake up, please let this all have been a dream.

 

[Silver Linings]

Someone’s put another pound in her.

 

[bladiesla]

I immediately stop listening if somebody starts talking about dreams. Why would I care what they dreamt about?!?

The worst is the surprise about what they've dreamt about ("Can you believe I dreamt this weird thing?")

Yes!....It's a dream! Anything can happen in your dreams.

(I had a colleague who told one dream repeatedly. She did not repeatedly dream it, throughout the year she kept bringing the same one-off dream up)

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Surprised she’s not gone full on cockney urchin with this throwback, also weird she’s not mentioned Rossi’s?

 

[TillyMiffin]

We knew the ‘got the rona’ tweet was coming. But why is she’s listing every item from the stock book of Bejams circa 1987?!

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

‘Kinell, Jack. Please stop. View attachment 351025

Has anyone checked on Slopbot recently? I'm worried that he's reprogrammed himself into NostalgiaBot and gained control of Jack's Twitter.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Someone’s put another pound in her. View attachment 351048

Working class you hear me? WORKING CLASS

 

[bladiesla]

duck me, she had a lot of comfort foods as a kid (mine were basically chips and Haribo's)

 

[StudleyRoger]

Someone’s put another pound in her. View attachment 351048

It's ok guys, stand down, her ballet lessons were at the COMMUNITY HALL. They were special ones for povs!

 

[Smeghead]

Someone’s put another pound in her. View attachment 351048

Saturday morning dance classes? She’s dreaming she was middle class? Doctor!! Doctor!!!

 

[HarderFaster]

Working class you hear me? WORKING CLASS

The ice cream was CHEAP because she only had TWO PARENTS working in DECENT PROFESSIONAL ROLES with FOSTERING ALLOWANCES.

She’s absolutely unhinged.

 

[ScamSandwich]

Why does nearly everything JM tells sound like a scene from a film shot in sepia?

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Someone’s put another pound in her. View attachment 351048

There is so much to pick apart in this tweet, I feel I need to make a list post.

But that might make @Silver Linings cross and given she is doing so much good work for us, I’ll just skulk off and stir my cherry Pepsi max with a long spoon to see if it has the same effect.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[KebabGirl]

I caught measles when I was 19 (they wouldn’t vaccinate me as I’d had convulsions as a baby). I was ILL. My temperature was sky high. I lay sweating in bed staring at the wall for a fortnight. If Twitter had existed then I couldn’t have gone near it. My parents left a radio playing in my bedroom - I still struggle to listen to Purple Rain and Jazzin’ for Blue Jean as they remind me of endlessly staring at that Laura Ashley wallpaper while feeling like death.

Ditto - measles at 19 but due to admin errors by the parent, school and GP. Was a year ahead at school (can I be classed as gifted, even did some GCSEs at 14!) so missed some regular stuff. Was in hospital for 10 days, don't remember about 8.5 of those. Space, Female of the Species seemed to be playing a lot! From what I've read it's not close to bad corona but the worst illness I've had.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Meanwhile, BB is wondering if it's possible to slip a bottle of Night Nurse into a mug of kombucha