Jack Monroe #119 She says lots of things, many of which are false

[ScamSandwich]

Teresa May got some hardcore rants from me in her time, and plenty of piss taking - she’s vile. Same now for Priti. The reason the joke is ‘funny’, or supposed to be, is I think meant to be the complete opposite of racist, but I can see what Harry is saying, it implies her family aren’t British. I make jokes about ‘foreigners’ all the time, in the context of my family mostly being hardcore -take our country back- Brexiteers, despite absolutely loving my husband, who is not from the UK. Most of them are narcissists, so it’s either humour, grey rock, or a screaming row to deal with them. They’re all rubbing their hands with glee about Brexit, so I’m always saying things like “thank god that horrible foreigner MrPatrol can go back to his own country and England will be wonderful again” with heavy sarcasm and eye rolls. My husband has a British passport so he’s not actually going anywhere. I mean..... I just think the joke was not particularly funny, but more a comment on Patel’s self-loathing. My kids are British, but if they grow up to be total arseholes who want to sling everyone out of the UK, I’ll be reminding them that they come from a long line of immigrants, and that they wouldn’t exist without immigration.

I also love how the Frauen always offer a multitude of views and interpretations!!

Yes, it always needs to be taken into consideration who makes a joke and why. There is definitely the aspect of "bloody hell, that horrible women has got no shame to deport her own family/sell her grandmother kind of style."
I too make horrible jokes sometimes but only when people who listen know me well enough.

 

[PoorPatrol]

I've got a few pages to catch up, but I wanted the share this photo of the angel from the top of our tree. She fell off the tree today and both her arms broke off in bits. I've glued/sellotaped them back on, but instead of praying, she now looks like she's doing a slow, sarcastic handclap and she is totally a Frau! OMG, she's lost a bit of eye too
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I’m afraid there’s some bad news.... she’s now.... cursed!

 

[kachoochoo]

is is just me, or is there still quite a bit of actual onion attached to those feelings?

and is that paper on the counter around the chaotic pudding? and probably underneath as a background? while things are on fire on top of it? fire safety jack strikes again!

 

[KebabGirl]

I caught measles when I was 19 (they wouldn’t vaccinate me as I’d had convulsions as a baby). I was ILL. My temperature was sky high. I lay sweating in bed staring at the wall for a fortnight. If Twitter had existed then I couldn’t have gone near it. My parents left a radio playing in my bedroom - I still struggle to listen to Purple Rain and Jazzin’ for Blue Jean as they remind me of endlessly staring at that Laura Ashley wallpaper while feeling like death.

Ditto - measles at 19 but due to admin errors by the parent, school and GP. Was a year ahead at school (can I be classed as gifted, even did some GCSEs at 14!) so missed some regular stuff. Was in hospital for 10 days, don't remember about 8.5 of those. Space, Female of the Species seemed to be playing a lot! From what I've read it's not close to bad corona but the worst illness I've had.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

All this talk of dreaming means only one thing....

(Sorry @Alansbigplate, I can’t find your masterpiece so this will have to do)

 

[FlorenceFlutterbucket]

I missed this from the end of the last thread - what’s got a Tupperware full of onion peelings for? It gets crushed down ... for what?

She is going to mix it with lard to make a festive Yule log for the peasants to eat, her recipe will go viral and break the internet. Or she could just Chuck them
In the bin

 

[Captainmouse]

Slopbot Mel Donte has told me “try my citrus it’s really delitchious” and I can’t breathe for fizzing and laughing

Edit the little shite

Sorry

 

[Candytuft]

Hello all, short time lurker and one time poster here. I have a comment and a question if that's OK please...

Comment: that stuffing looks like a flapjack to me.
Question: who is Brenda?? Have seen her referenced a lot but am none the wiser as to her crime.

Thank you / thankyou / thankSpaceyou

A kindly savvy Frau will fill you in.
Poor Brenda. I hope she’s ok.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I've just had a fitting for my Sloppies™ outfit. It's my tribute to cheap soft softy soft white bread. Might be a tad revealing though, I can always sling a denim shirt over it.

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Festive!!

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

I remembered that we had lard at home when I was small but couldn’t remember why. But this has reminded me. It was for pastry (and greasing tins). But my mum hasn’t used it for years and she never put it near gravy (and she was a Bisto lady so she wasn’t a gravy perfectionist by any means!)

I had the lard because I got it into my head last week to make seed-filled 'Fat Balls' for the birds last week.
The other stuff because Herself bakes.

 

[MooBelle]

Totally agree with this and wonder exactly the same! Is she even aware of her own lies or is she so lost in a fantasy world that she can no longer tell fact from fiction..

Both.
Narcs are aware they are lying, but their brains work differently.
Similar thing to toddlers being unable to lie because of brain development. They think everyone knows the same things as they do. Learning to lie is a big developmental step in kids, that's why Health Visitors ask strange questions in the check ups.
If a Narc says something then they believe that everyone thinks/sees the same thing. If you disagree they can't compute it and that's when you get the temper tantrums.
Maybe their brains don't develop past this stage?
If a Narc needs the Flying Monkey high they will say something to gain sympathy (Saying they have Covid for example) They know it is a lie, but are hardwired to think everyone else will agree with them.

 

[Nippybippy]

Why does she always say "canned" instead of "tinned" ? I've never known anyone call products "canned" weird.

Americans call it canned.

 

[NP]

If it was a cover story, just... why bother? She could have kept her business to herself and not announced anything to all of Twitter. Noone would be any wiser and nor do they need to be .
And then she gets the nark with people offering her suggestions and advice, when she could have kept it private in the first place. But I guess privacy does not = attention .

An impossibility for our Jackie. Which makes it all the stranger that we didn’t get a running commentary and howling about her experience getting a Covid test.

 

[YenE]

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She is a melt..... step away from the Twitterverse and go get well. Her Misty eyed nostalgia makes me cringe

 

[CuriousCat92]

Should have left SB with his Dad. That way, we'll be spared the soon to come tale of the kid having to monitor her breathing. Did she go out last Wednesday/Thursday/Friday, by any chance?

Needs to take some paracetamol and ibuprofen to get the temperature down, have something like full sugar lemonade, sleep on your front/side facing down a bit & hugging a pillow (as the middle of the night sinus emptying that drops what feels like a cup of water down your throat is horrible).

Still, isolation ends Wednesday next.

Flat 7up. Cures everything according to my Nan!

 

[bazzam]

Those adenoids must be on triple time tonight. I feel sorry for them.

 

[Eurgh]

I love that the posters on here make me consider my own reactions to things in a more nuanced way.

BABE. SAME.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Yes, someone else has piped up saying that Jack's piece was very powerful

dammit.

 

[hydeist]

Does anyone else think the way Louisa worded her tweet was strange? She didn't say she tested positive or that she had corona. She simply said "a positive corona test result".

Maybe Louisa isn't positive. Jack may or may not be. Maybe it's SB since the story started with him/his teacher. So Louisa is just saying "oh great, sharing a house with corona. Happy Birthday to me", kinda..

Has she deleted that tweet or am I just inept and can't see it?
Edit: am just inept

 

[Minky McMoneypenny]

We'll be having none of that.

You could carve prawn shapes out of the tofu though