Jack Monroe #118 Diagnosis: gifted

[kachoochoo]

why on earth is she complaining about being cooped up? she does the school run and goes to asda, that's it.

well, when not in Edinburgh or kicking shins on trains, obv

 

[jenny2603]

OMFG! Real 'rona has entered the bungalow! Jack will deffo catch it along with another hefty dose of the SEVERE resentment she appears to feel for everyone in her life.

 

[jenny2603]

It's funny they all got exposed at the same time. One minute all is well, next thing SB is advised about his teacher and on the exact same day the two adults he lives with start showing symptoms after one of the adults was in contact with someone with Covid. I suppose it gets it all out the way at once.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Firstly, you’d need a pint of water to get this abomination down. It looks so dry, I don’t think I could swallow this

Then, is this meant to be gravy? As it’s not even the right colour? The whole thing is a pile of shite, I could do better with £23 and I don’t even cook. Also, the Yorkshire puddings look frozen.

Recipe costing Jack is one of my absolute hates. It isn’t 11p per serving as you can’t buy a teaspoon of flour and some chicken juices you absolute numbskull. So it’s always going to cost more. So disingenuous.

 

[MooBelle]

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Bollocks. She said they were isolating because someone in SBs school bubble had tested positive.
No mention of them having symptoms.
No mention of going for a test. If she had she wouldn't have shut up about.
She would've bitched and whinged about the process of getting an appointment (believe me, I've done it twice for 4 members of my family, is a pain in the arse) Walk ins are few and far between. The vast majority are drive thrus.
A friend/family member couldn't have driven them because if you suspect that you are infected you can't mix with people outside your household.
Also, if she did get walk in she would've had to get taxi/public transport to test site because of distance. You can't do that if you've had symptoms.
If she'd order one to her house it wouldn't be here yet.
This is bullshit on a whole other level.

Oh and Jack..btw, just incase you are interested, CVD19 tests come back within a day. So you've got less than 24 hours to make up an excuse as to why you haven't sent anything out in 3 months and why you are forcing your child and ex girlfriend basically hostage.

 

[Aardvark]

So on the one hand her entire family is too vulnerable to drop food off at a safe distance to her doorstep - but she also has a younger brother who she was going to do a haircut on during the first lockdown?

Also maybe this is her chance to finally tuck into two year’s of dried mushrooms.

 

[Deej]

No escape for BB now.

 

[Silver Linings]

Krish mate.

 

[MancBee]

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"Just enough space to sulk in corners." The woman gets worse. Why not make the most of the time with her son and play games together, read together, watch films together, make things together, laugh not sulk, be happy to spend time together.

By the way, the house isn't "just big enough" they have a bedroom each, lounge, dining room, inner second lounge, huge garden (that needs a tidy) and a shed that she could spend time in if things get desperate.

If BB is staying and Jack can't afford a delivery of food, let BB pay her way. Get her to have a takeaway delivered. It is time for BB to pay back all that hospitality shown her by Jack over the past few months.

 

[Oofadoofa]

What a coincidence that just as SB has to isolate due to one of his teacher’s testing positive, which would ordinarily mean only he has to isolate, another adult in the household has also come into contact with that teacher or someone else who has tested positive. Which was only mentioned after multiple people pointed out she didn’t have to isolate too.

And what a wonderful coincidence, too, that she jus happens to have eaten all of her stored meals in the two weeks prior to this earth shattering event (that everyone else in the world is dealing with in one way or another). What DRAMA, what suspense what a trooper she is. Not all heroes wear capes, etc etc...

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

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Jack, I've just checked with everyone else in Edinburgh, and we all agree that we do not miss you at all.
I know there are far worse Jacks, but Sentimental Edinburgh Jack really does my heid in!

 

[traumatised sideboard]

She'd have more room to sulk if she hadn't Tetrised the shitty bungalow with the full complement of the Cotswold catalogue. Can't wait for the candid shots of her au naturel on a sideboard sucking a mixture of instant noodles, raw eggs, Del Monte-branded mandarins and criminally cheap tinned fish out of a saucepan with the egg juices pouring down her chin as she closes her eyes and writhes in sheer ecstasy.

 

[Scarletfever]

She's a disgrace. Everyone on here called it as soon as she had to isolate because reasons.

It is all a calculated move to get out of work obligations.

If people have paid for something in good faith then you fucking well move heaven and earth to get it to them, especially coming up to Christmas.

Other people would be panicking and desperately looking for solutions, but not Jack. Other people's money is just jokes to her.

 

[jenny2603]

She’d be in the queue for the test and the nurse would say who are you then she’d launch into ‘Jack Monroe; activist, food writer, ex-food bank user, challenging myself to overcome my fears...

The nurse would try to remain professional but she wouldn't be able to keep it up. "It's the people's urchin!" she'd cry and all the other nurses would come to look. "Tell us abut The Poverty, Little Jack" the crowd say as one...

 

[NP]

After her first album, 'Diagnosis: Gifted', I eagerly await the second, 'Knitting For Attention'...

Closely followed by “Another Day on the Monroellercoaster.” There were some cracking threads suggestions in the last thread.

The gifted thing makes me cringe so, so bad. When my eldest was in Year 3 we were told at parents evening that he had been identified as “gifted and talented” I think they called it, and all it meant was that the worksheets he was given were slightly harder and designed to challenge him. Apart from attending a creative writing day at another school with other “gifted” kids we never heard about it again. There was no diagnosis or ceremony and he wasn’t even aware of it because we never told him. Jack holds on to her school days for some odd reason. Like sending her book to the school teacher who said she’d be flipping burgers. Jack is forever reliving her glory days.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[kachoochoo]

small twitter chaos... DEPLOY COOPER

 

[Smeghead]

The one thing I don't get about L is, if I was making a packet and worked damn hard to get said packet. There is no way on god's green earth I would be eating sloppy shit,( no matter how much I wanted to date the person making it) I would eat normal people food and suggest they do likewise, as well as do good for other like donate to charities etc.

Isolation now is really not the end of the world as most shops have moved and established themselves online so getting stuff is not alot easier than it was during last lockdown. She's just a fucking moan. If I was L I would get earphones and go Jose in my room like a stroppy teenager till it was let out time.

There’s only one thing about L you don’t get? She’s head of CH4 news and involved in some of the world’s biggest investigative stories - yet lives with and turns a blind eye to one of the biggest liars and scam artists going

 

[jenny2603]

It'll be her PTSD acting up again. From the brief time she had to sign on in her early 20s. Hard to overcome something like that.

I've just realised that in total during my life I have signed on for 26 months. Surely I must be due a prize or cup for my unimaginable suffering which dwarfs Jacks by some way. In addition my Dad was out of work for eight months when I was a teenager so that's a double trauma really. If anyone needs me I will be punching walls and howling for the reminder of the day.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

It’s a shame she took all those anagrams out her screen name, cos COVID-19 would have given her the potential to do something alphabetically?

Jack Monroe ADHD ASD BOTULISM COVID-19