Jack Monroe #113 I beg your pardon, she’s got a hammock in her rented garden

[ComeForTheX StayForTheY]

I, Slopbot

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

She’s going to be livid at all the attention Elliot Page is getting today, no doubt clawing at the floor and howling why she didn’t get number one spot on the Daily Mail showbiz page when she decided she was transgender.

Good on Elliot, such a brave decision to make with the world watching too. Which is what Jack thinks in her head happens every time she makes an announcement, but literally the only people watching her are us, Brenda and Stuart.

I, Slopbot

Thread title right there.

 

[JuliaGulia]

Heart of gold? View attachment 331229

Maybe someone donated one to her? Sent it to her agent's office with the trolley?!

 

[jenny2603]

She’s going to be livid at all the attention Elliot Page is getting today, no doubt clawing at the floor and howling why she didn’t get number one spot on the Daily Mail showbiz page when she decided she was transgender.

Good on Elliot, such a brave decision to make with the world watching too. Which is what Jacks thinks in her head happens every time she makes an announcement, but literally the only people watching her are us, Brenda and Stuart.



Thread title right there.

I do love a good Jack "Before this appears in a crappy tabloid" huff quote like she can't even go down the shops without getting papped.

 

[xoxo]

I Slopbot!!!

 

[Montrachet]

I've been waiting to share this for ages but wanted to wait until I could do it justice. I think that's now.

I have never seen Vlad so moved.

My Candy Crush addiction has been replaced by Slopbot.

#metoo - even better than the latest knockout challenge.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I am grateful for the positive response to Slopbot, all these recipes sound incredible! Once I had the idea it was the work of a moment I had to teach myself code from scratch over the course of a few hours and because I am autistic it worked perfectly first time frankly I am still amazed that it worked (and yes @Switchstreetz the drawing is both mine and deliberately terrible yet strangely charming).

@Vroo Angel Delight, Creme Egg and banoffee tart sounds too reasonable, it could definitely be improved by some anchoïade.

 

[Terrible]

Slopbot is the best thing on the internet, ever

 

[ScamSandwich]

While I was away someone has not gone viral and a rocket scientist Frau has casually developed a bot. If that is not a Jackstoposition.

 

[encore]

I have never seen Vlad so moved.

#metoo - even better than the latest knockout challenge.

Reporting from level 3463, you are my hero.

As is slopbot, naturally.

 

[Bobtheknob]

I am grateful for the positive response to Slopbot, all these recipes sound incredible! Once I had the idea it was the work of a moment I had to teach myself code from scratch over the course of a few hours and because I am autistic it worked perfectly first time frankly I am still amazed that it worked (and yes @Switchstreetz the drawing is both mine and deliberately terrible yet strangely charming).

@Vroo Angel Delight, Creme Egg and banoffee tart sounds too reasonable, it could definitely be improved by some anchoïade.

How long before Slopbot is full of ads and a tip jar rattles after every creation of new slop!

 

[girolle]

I make ahead a lot of our Christmas day food now because otherwise I tend to serve lunch and go to bed and sleep a painkiller/fatigue induced coma for the rest of the day. I have a chronic illness and my husband is usually coming off shift on Christmas morning. But defo not "defrosted scraps" - Jack being jack goodness knows what they will eat (still shudder over the Finnish liver pudding thing) but it is possible to freeze loads ahead of time and have a yummy traditional christmas dinner if you're working or chronically ill etc.

Oh no, I hope I didn't upset you and I am most sorry if I did! I didn't want my post to make me sound like an evil Christmas dinner dictator. It's always this time of year when I do thank the heavens that we have a freezer as it's an absolute lifesaver in the run up to Christmas. I think I've overdosed on reading tweets about foil containers and freezers over the past week so, when I saw that tweet, I was just irked by Jack's narrative (well, I suppose my perception of such!) and the thought of a three-course Christmas meal made with all sorts. I am sure your cooking is fantastic and didn't want to suggest that anyone who freezes in advance would be waking up to Jack style slop!

@traumatised sideboard please take a bow with slopbot! It reminds me of Letitia Cropley from the Vicar of Dibley, famously dubbed the 'Queen of Cordon Bleugh'! I've just read the adjective 'griftily' and am now having a good chuckle to myself.

 

[Charitas]

She’s going to be livid at all the attention Elliot Page is getting today, no doubt clawing at the floor and howling why she didn’t get number one spot on the Daily Mail showbiz page when she decided she was transgender.

Good on Elliot, such a brave decision to make with the world watching too. Which is what Jack thinks in her head happens every time she makes an announcement, but literally the only people watching her are us, Brenda and Stuart.

The difference being that Elliot is an extraordinary actor able to show the emotions of the characters they play. I cannot think of anything Jack is extraordinary good at

 

[Themaninblack]

@traumatised sideboard: I have eye wets, bottom wets and I'm still trying to find where my lung landed when I hooted it up. Thank(space)you very Matt much Matt for Slopbot - a ray of sunshine in an otherwise dreary day! I only wish (with @blurstoftimes) I could share it as widely as it deserves.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Oh @traumatised sideboard with these slopbots you are really spoiling us

 

[Readingismyhobby]

View attachment 330504

View attachment 330506

And claim the food costs as a business expense.

 

[MrsOgre]

Nothing worse than embarrassing jam.

 

[Captainmouse]

Oh. Jack's found the 'they work for you've website'
With the super secret information about voting records.

Someone do something to distract her.

She'll be totally distracted when she discovers slopbot! She’ll spontaneously combust
can you imagine her giving evidence in court? They created an app to steal my recipes!

The difference being that Elliot is an extraordinary actor able to show the emotions of the characters they play. I cannot think of anything Jack is extraordinary good at

Slop! Marauding food! Grifting, telling porkies, she’s Olympic standard

 

[Walkdengirl]

The difference being that Elliot is an extraordinary actor able to show the emotions of the characters they play. I cannot think of anything Jack is extraordinary good at

Come on, they are A1+ at grifting

 

[Silver Linings]