Liar, Liar, her denim shirt’s on fire.
I don’t know how she can keep up with the lies she constantly tells.
I don’t know how she can keep up with the lies she constantly tells.
Jack Monroe #109 Jack Monroe’s network bandwidth is low
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I was struggling to sleep last night so I wrote some Jack poetry in the form of haiku because I know how much she loved the bingo discussion. Here are a few for you. If you want to see the rest you have to support me on Patreon at the £10/month tier because I eat a lot of butter.
Maverick chilli
Apply corned beef to grater
Clamato juice sauce
Horse spunk lasagne
It thickens in the oven
Verdict: terrible
Fell under a train
Mediterranean arse
Life-saving buttocks
Rent a bungalow
Cannot plant a hydrangea
Turfed under the stairs
Do not ask questions
Every known experience
Completed it mate
Maverick chilli
Apply corned beef to grater
Clamato juice sauce
Horse spunk lasagne
It thickens in the oven
Verdict: terrible
Fell under a train
Mediterranean arse
Life-saving buttocks
Rent a bungalow
Cannot plant a hydrangea
Turfed under the stairs
Do not ask questions
Every known experience
Completed it mate
But where in the budget are the bank charges for her kiddie account? That’s 3squid off your shop
Absolutely brilliant! I wanted to pick one to quote but they are all too good.
From memory it was a chalkboard one she’d picked up in Asdaare you really gonna save that much if the thing's on for 3 days at a time though?
eta come to think of it, the chicken stock was in a different slow cooker, wasn't it? it's probably still there
If you dm your address I’ll send you some butter in the post. You shouldn’t go without dear heart
does she actually cook the flour? 
A bottle of lemon juice
Just sling it in a curry
Budget baked bean blogger
She doesn't.
Does the 'slow cooker' thing remind anybody else of those contraptions you'd see at breakfast if, for instance, a family member owned a Bed and Breakfast type establishment.
Baked Beans in one pot, Porridge in another, you get the idea...
Yes, absolutely.
I’m sure it was only £37 as it was a yellow sticker bargain, or from the thrift shop that does not know how to recognise expensive cookware.
I wish her followers would publicly call out the BBC and Hellmans for not paying freelancers on time. It's pretty outrageous.
HER GRANDFATHER IS DEAD
It actually says "buffet server" on it there doesn't it...
Perhaps his ashes were kept in the one next to the beans...
Maybe her parents sold it to her..... she did mention a stand off with her dad over something or other while they were stripping a B&B of its valuables. Don’t start, my granddad is DEAD!
You can have it not for £35, not for £40 but precisely £37! Hahaha!
They all sound absolutely atrocious people.
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