Jack Monroe #103 Take her as she is or leave her be
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Because apparently the Aldi in Southend is a 20 mile trek through rainforest and tundra and so it’s apparently more efficient to make two trips to Asda on foot. She just likes wasting time cos she’s got duck all else to do. Anyone normal would just walk to Aldi and use the money they saved on the shop to get a taxi back, but Jack’s super-duper-autistic-ADHD brain is too SPECIAL for a solution like that.
TL;DR - cos she’s a twit.
Her "diabolical work life balance" is because she hardly does any "work", it's all "life". She up at 4am but she's 100% going to have a dinosaur nap later, people with a real job can't do that. They can't spend all day Monday teaching someone to cook. Her Twitter addiction is out of control, it consumes her. I honestly don't think she's spent 8 hours properly working since the control centre job.
That. Is. Rank.
Phew that last post of mine was a long one! Woke up early and got a right one on me. 
Maybe if she got up at 4am and got on with some actual work (you know, writing the book that's already about 3 months late) instead of making yet another colour coded chart she might see some sort of progress.
I'm famous on my socials for eating stuff way past its date, or that's been sitting around for ages, I once did a blog post every day for a month where I used a really old ingredient I found lying around my house and I could have easily done another month. Like many other normal people I'll use some of the water I cooked veg or spuds in to make the gravy for the same meal. But I will NEVER EVER contemplate saving the water I cooked something in for another day to cook something else in. And then to be considering doing it again? duck MY LIFE.
Lard is an awful substitute as well, there's little it would work in (some kinds of pastry perhaps?). I sometimes use beef dripping as a cooking fat for certain things which is nice, lard however has a really strong smell, just stinks of cheap sausages really
. There's far better substitutes you could buy if the cost of butter was prohibitive.It's really pissed me off her lying about including milk in her £20. Because we've seen the receipts where she's so pleased with herself for spending exactly £20. I spend over £7 a week with the milkman (organic whole milk, because I'm fancy) but she must be spending at least £4 (with OJ).
Really minging congealed starchy pasta water too, I bet.
Does she ever just have a day where she quietly does some writing and then in the evening just watch a film in a relaxed slump on the sofa, with a chocolate bar, then go for a nice shower and then get into bed and think, ahhh, that was a good day?! Does such a calm day ever happen?
She just talks tit. There's a Lidl around the same distance from her house as the Asda she visits. There's also a bus that runs from right near her house to said Lidl, 4 times an hour, would have her there in under 10 minutes
.But she can't play the martyr if she's not marching twice a day to Asda with a rucksack.
Guarantee you she’s a bit of a snob about Lidl
Please let's not start this all again! Giving your child unappetizing meals is not grounds for losing custody.
1 plenty of people have had parents who were rubbish cooks and turned out okay. 2 sb clearly not malnourished 3 mental health issues are not and should not be a reason for losing custody of a child. 4 we all know jack's social media is not a reliable indicator of what food is coming into the house and what's actually being eaten
bleeping hell! Now I wonder if Louisa has come back to babysit her. Maybe she's in a chaotic grump because the living situation remains platonic and she hasn't managed to sink her claws back in properly yet?
What is she on about? "Expert" Jack drives me mad. She has to insert herself into an area she knows nothing about, is not an expert on, rather than just saying 'no, I haven't written anything on this but try X or Y writer'- you know, giving credit where it's due just as she expects to be given credit for being 'the' budget cook
This is the point, behind the smoke and mirrors or lying by omission. And she’s so selective, just the other week she was sleeping til mid morning and moaning about being up at 7ish for something or other, but on the odd occasion she’s up and bleeping around with her colouring set, she plays the hard working martyr for sympathy on Twatter. And it’s all a nonsense anyway, she does *nothing* that would be considered work in the real world.
On a morning Grunk but a little bit pleased that a throwaway comment of mine about perfume is still being discussed
Maybe another career talking absolute bollocks on the internet awaits - I wonder who I could use as inspiration?
This has finished me off! Matt as Matron is the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages!
. Thank you very Matt much Alan Xx- Status