Jack Monroe #102 Stop getting Bond wrong!

[Alansbigplate]

For @Alansbigplate and any other Fraus having a bit of a shite one. You are the wind beneath my wings

Hahahaha perfick

I wonder if Jack laughs at the gifs when she sees them.

Alan, you have great talent. Not only for getting the right gif at the right time but for tirelessly framing our heroine in the best possible light. Dear heart, thankyou

Chef Putin’s kiss to you

 

[Terrible]

I hope that poor kid has school dinners this week. Lard and carrot sandwiches anyone?

 

[Harrybosch]

Are chocolates appreciated? I always get them from customers at Christmas but don’t eat them as I’m Vegan. I donated them last year but won’t do it again if they could go else where.

Check with your local foodbank. Ours actively asks for chocolate around Christmas time. They put hampers together for families and ask for very specific items to create these. Boxes of non-alcoholic chocolates are on the list.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[MaggyMay]

View attachment 305983View attachment 305985

OR you could take the white price label off instead of faffing around with graphics. Or would that mess with your web of lies?

 

[FrumpyCat]

I’ve read this tweet five times now and I still can’t understand what she’s on about? Why can’t she just use the kitchen worktop? Why has she got the extendable table middle bits out?
It’s probably my non-maverick mind but none of this makes any sense to me.
View attachment 304552

Brilliant idea Jack! Now how the fuck are you going to rinse your beans? I'd also add, basic hygiene, hand washing etc, but that doesn't seem to be an issue with you.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Re: Headrush Spaghetti. I'm not saying I ran so @TurnedUpInTipp can walk, but 2017 Moglits was a fan of Jack's (ssh) and made it.

Now. Three years is a long time, but it wasn't...bad. It broadly worked. I mean, as a Thread 2 Caballer, I am willing to take one for my fraus and herrs and make it again to the absolute letter (as I seem to remember making some small tweaks, like actually roasting the garlic rather than burning my house down), but at the same time if TUIT already has their shopping list of white chocolate and dehydrated mushrooms, then...

I've written this before but our coven has grown since then - tried and tested Jack recipes from memory...

- Chickpea falafels - they're alright
- Red bean and dumpling soup - pretty good, provided you don't mind the minky (teehee) colour
- Feisty Soup - ignore the title, it's alright. Good for blasting away a cold
- Peanut butter and jam cookies - good, in the way that child-made cookies are good and taste vaguely like Play-Doh
- Mushroom, lentil, and ale pie - actually very good, but subject to a lot of tweaking
- Spinach dumplings - absolute disaster, and I could tell from reading the recipe, but gave it a punt and ended up with a pan of floating leaves and flour clumps
- Come to Bed Parmigiana - nice! No-one came around to bone me tho
- Salad bag pesto - made it, didn't die, it was absolutely gross

I think there's more...

kidney bean burgers - bland andgave me wind

 

[MancBee]

I have just finished watching the joy of painting on tv.

 

[Bleurghgram]

I’m BUSY but are multiple soaps trending BECAUSE of her or is she just getting involved? If she’s relevant enough to start two trends, stop the world, I want to get off.

 

[Lanie]

She does actually look very unwell and gaunt in that photo. I have absolutely no sympathy for her as all of her miseries are self-inflicted and self-perpetuated, but I do wonder if Louisa’s return as “Bubble Buddy” () is some kind of intervention. It would also explain what seems to be quite a rare family lunch before lockdown. Mission accomplished for Jackie.

I’m sure she’s very consciously made herself thin and tired for this express purpose, given that she supposedly has robust, private MH care, but her family and couple of friends do have a duty of care to her while she still has SB at home. She must be an absolute nightmare to know and be around.

I have been thinking since it started. It's an intervention of some sort. I have a niggling that is also might just be two of them. I have no evidence to support this just my own gut. I think she was advised to have someone to teach to cook this lockdown as a coping method.

 

[SoulRebel]

For purists and pedants
20x52.142
Divide by 12 = 86.90 per month
.142 takes account of leap year (I only know this from being a payroll clerk back in the day!)

Dang! I forgot that 2020 is a Leap Year.

 

[I Heard a Rumour]

Excuse the typos, was fumin!

I very much enjoyed 'there just be lurkers' my maverick brain read it the voice of Jethro

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[ScamSandwich]

I'm getting beardy twat vibes. I think he is probably a secret posho.

Me too, but I think that every single Frau and Herr of the coven have reached that advanced state to call her/himself a medium. Bc we literally start to shake with our whole bodies when there is fraud in sight/creep alarm.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Every time I see a pair of those nana earrings hanging on for dear life I think this, she needs proper backs on them else they'll be looted by the Disney mice or end up embedded in a limb (call the plastic surgeon !)

I bet she jumped when they pierced them. Not that she's over dramatic of course, she'll have just had some sort of traumatic flashback induced by the piercing gun, and couldn't help but throw herself to the ground and howl.

 

[Blurp]

Bollocks. She's too young for TNG (or TOS) to have been on after school. Unless we're talking about when SKY took over the franchise (satellite TV in the early 90s - fancy) and went on to show DS9 after rerunning TNG. Although she would still have been too young for something that started at 8pm. Actually seeing ST:V is vaguely possible, as that was in late 1995/6.

The movies might have been possible, as they had started flogging video box sets by then, even though they were rated too high for a child of her age to watch - but she doesn't seem to think anything about Kirk or the actual barriers that Shatner et al broke down. As though she hadn't seen them...



This is a niche that nobody should consider trampling their boots into.

Wondering whether all this acting as though she's older than she is, and her middle-aged frump dress sense is designed to appeal to older sugar mummies, even unconsciously?

 

[Fruitjack]

Something with the horse spunk, definitely

 

[Chip1984]

I'm someone who said that recently so I would like to apologise to you. My post was poorly worded.

What I meant to say was that I do think Jack has a PD (and we can only speculate from the comfort of our armchairs). I mentioned EUPD because (to me) she has an unstable self-image, has trouble in her relationships and there appears to be some (family?) trauma lurking away in the background. What I did NOT mean to imply is that EUPD would be an excuse for her willingness to hurt people or advance herself at the expense of others.

I do apologise if my views came across as ill-informed or as propping up unhelpful stereotypes. Thanks for pulling me up on this x

No need to apologise!

You are right - a personality disorder or any mental disorder/illness does not give anyone the excuse to be cuntish.

Gagh? Gah!View attachment 305749

Unruly labia??

 

[Eurgh]

Maybe Louisa could cycle home with the imaginary £20 shop. Save Jack her two trips.

 

[JoyceDivision]

Totally agree with this. I think with everything Jack says, every single tale of woe, you have to dial it right down a good few notches to get an accurate picture of what actually happened. She clearly can't help but exaggerate even the tiniest of things that happen to her.

She is exceptionally talented...

at making the truth sound like a lie.