Jack Grealish #78 a small, lively dog breed

[2busyshopping34]

Spoiler: you as footballers

ok first of all i’m so sorry if i’ve missed any of you out pls just like this and i’ll shit myslef and be like omfg it’s not intentional these were all done when i was completely off my head and i’m sorry if you don’t like urs 99% of them are completely random my babies no hate x i’ll probably go for a slash and be like aw they should of been this or stn.



these are also not based off looks just my random descriptions like personality n that love u all kk bye x



also ur welcome for no one getting kyle walker u muppets


@jumpmoon
DCL!

looks like he loves a bit of gardening and wears pearl necklaces and checks his horror scope and i also imagine you to have curly brown hair so it’s just perfect are you sure you’re not him ?? xxx

@Violetroselily
kante!

always there for everyone, gives out blankets on road trips and always has a hug ready love u sm mummy ur my fav person u little cutie and u also def drive a mini cooper too

@wonderstruck25
Mahrez!

i want you to cook me pasta and feed me all up with your cool multi coloured food and animal shaped food pls come and pick me up with ready meals, also def wears mittens and has a silky touch

@Popsock123

does the scuba diver dance at the chrsitmas party after too many bevvys and never lives it down, especially since everyone thought she’s not a drinker


@BeauJD
kdb!

would defo pick me up and take me for a maccies happy meal after a long day, i don’t think you cry when you cum don’t worry my baby

@Gizmo24
cancelo!

defo has ded posh biscuits in her cupboard- defo volleys all her rubbish in the bin and has a drawer in her fridge full of them green health juice shots.

@cornflower
ronny dielga

gets her massive batty out at any opportunity, flaps out for the boys, would go home and wank about how she got her bum out in public

@Kakan
zlatan!

yes queen slay it pls bicycle kick me round the head love u so much our swedish queen i love ur stories about sweden sm

@Starttheline
pep!

knows what she wants an bloody gets it, im also convinced your job is a epl team manager and that’s why you will not tell us and you wear proper high brand cashmere jumpers on hot days

@Gattle09
hernán crespo

to quote him: “
When I was young I had orgies with many women”
MASSIVE DILF YES QUEEN

@cobette
ginny!

have decided you are secretly john mcginn meatball and you’ve been hiding it from us and you defo use the snapchat face filters that give you a beard in your free time and go all out at work parties and everyone looks forward to your christmas outfit every year

@madamchristmas
romario

quote: “there’s nothing i like more than football… except for sex” fits ur aesthetic perfectly my queen

@Shoequeen91
roy keane

bloody love to humble grealish yes girl put him down slay slay slay

@Delia Smith
jamie redknapp

i want you to mummy me and guide me through the world and tell me stories about your club experiences and cut my hair, mummy?! and you’d give me a proper sexy step dad who has one of them hot water taps and jo malone (?) candles.

@StephenTJackson
the west ham team x

does any more need to be said? u are my idol i want you mentioned in my funeral speech and you are the only one to back up my taste in men x

@ruby1080
paolo di canio

bloody controversial with her tracksuits, maybe not quite as controversial as this fookin guy but point still stands love u rubae and love you again but in yellow

@blubberbubber
tom brady

yes you little ameircan defo have an arm like this kid to tickle bums with, i rlly made myself laugh with this one it’s so clever cos he’s still a footy player

@mimimithis
saka

yes my little triple science teacher, eats biology books for tea and makes a proper decent roast i recon

@333149O
eden hazard

“Yaya Toure admits he’s amazed at how Eden Hazard uses his ‘big bum’ to wiggle his way out of danger” i love u my queen can’t wait for cocktails x

@VC10
rooney

“he had sex with a 48-year-old grandmother in a rubber catsuit and a mother-of-six dressed as a cowgirl.” describes one of your nights perfectly

@gohdkakdbdj
gazza x

“He allegedly once took an ostrich to training” you must live a crazy life i want to follow u around with a go pro

@LurkingAnnie
conor coady

you little wool x

@lozzajb
BERNADOOOO

you are so cute but also proper spicy and loves a little wiggle in communal showers to show off what’s between ur legs, bet you have chocolate penis’ in your desk drawer left over from a secret santa.

@leapfrog
jermain defoe

you are so cute if i had the label of my knickers sticking out in public you woukd come over to tell me and i’d fall in love with you and pretend you were the girl in my books and live out a fantasy where i. meet you in a coffee shop every morning

@rasperryripple
aguero

you are queen you are a legend you have slayed every slay give me a high five you are the goat and could single handidly stop the whole of manchester’s train line just by strutting through the station

@D.W's Library Card
balotelli

“ lives a crazy lifeFrom setting off fireworks in his bathroom to throwing darts at youth team players”, you are v mysterious in my eyes i will have to follow you around too

@Just Drive
ruben dias

i imagine you to have your cereal in those plastic box things and your house to have a lovely white wood kitchen and be absolutely spotlessly clean so you are ruben dias

@unofficialtea
KOSTAS

GREEEEK SCOUSERRRR. pls come for a night out with me and a boogie in town in the early mornings of sunday i think i fancy you and i am so intrigued by you

@applecrumble7
lingard

would be proper down for a kareoke car drive when it’s dark out and even put her window when when she feels proper frisky, defo also indulges/indulged in dogging in tk max car parks

@WylieWyles
messi

massive horse dog 1 bby love u and ur crazy stories about orgys u light up my world

@CheekyVimto99
neymar

you were def that girl who had a selection of victoria secret sprays for PE and would be a slay in gymnastics so you are neymar as i imagine him to be strangely flexible but you also def have good music taste and cool necklaces and used to set trends for haircuts in school

@strawberrysunshine_x
hector

i really imagine you go be a harry styled fan so i’ve gone for hector bellerin as he is footballs harry styles 🫶

@Jen667
rammers

bet you’d proper throw yourself about between two poles for a bit of attention from arteta, but same queen same x

 

[333149O]

talking about usernames before, I signed up also just to see pictures, no intention to post. and here I am now, making polls about fuckin biscuits with people who I consider mates. life is mad hahaha

 

[jumpmoon]

Skye is gonna need a fuckin Clif bar and a Lucozade the amount of damage limitation walks she’s going on atm.

 

[ruby1080]

I like how he took the thought to censor Skye's private parts

Officially a better person than me, who posted her dead hamster’s bollocks on the internet.

 

[333149O]

thread title thanks to @spilldatea and the greatly timed millionaire question while Jack is firmly in the doghouse with us all right now.

it has been the week of all weeks in terms of depressing and the never ending sordid tales of Abe but we're still here, tits out and we're ready for a biscuit poll.

slight recap:

- JG got brought up in the M*ndy trial and made all our stomachs drop and vagines turn momentarily/permanently inside out.
- seen learning BSL, slight cute points earned but nothing groundbreaking.
- had a few minutes on the pitch but earned himself a second yellow which resulted in him being suspended tonight @ Wembley against Germany (silly prick).
- looked fit in the new kit.

not much else to report except our disgust and inner battle with morals. so. onto the biscuits. (this is my first thread so play Adele - Go Easy On Me) THANK YOU.

1. starting strong we have the chocolate hobnob, can dip to your hearts content, will very rarely crumble into your brew. only downside gets a bit mashy in your teeth if you're a fat cow like me and eat too many.

2. we have the smoother and less intimidating cousin of the chocolate hobnob, chocolate digestive. a good all rounder and nice to pull out with the brews if your mate comes round to rant about her cheating bf.

3. one of my personal favourites, the custard cream. can eat it as is or split it in two to lick the cream out of the middle (oi oi). also a good dipper and rarely disintegrates if you find yourself staring at a photo of JG for too long you're likely to still pull it back out in one piece.

4. number 4 we have the bourbon biscuit, very reminiscent of being in school or nursery having them with your dinner/glass of milk. does what it says on the tin just your classic choccy biccy, 8/10 on the dipping stability.

5. controversial one but a couple of mentions, the party ring. a classic I will say but also very artificial tasting in my humble opinion. dunno if these would go well with a brew. more considered - you guessed it, a party biscuit to many but too many mentions to leave out.

6. next up we have the humble and unoffending plain digestive. a staple in anyone's home and an all rounder. not much to say on this guy, speaks for himself. multitalented though as serves as a good cheesecake base smashed to bits. bit temperamental on the dipping scale, could lose half of him quite easily.

7. now we have the NICE biscuit. pronounced nice or niece depending on your personal pref. a sugary bae, little bit tarty but who doesn't love a tart? I know we all do! awful dipper, will likely lose this spineless slut.

8. the KDB of the biscuit world, albeit a little bit spicier. the ginger nut/snap. more of an autumn/winter biccy in my eyes but also fine for any time of year. good dipper, if you're into that sort of flavour clash. chonky boi.

9. Aldi (there are other brands available) half coated cookies, or any cookie for that matter. if you're a cookie lover at heart, bish this one is for you.
idk if these are the exact ones but ya girl is trying.

10. sorry to do this, fig rolls. now, if you are a massive weirdo like @Violetroselily. get your votes in for a figgy fun time.

ok thanks for partaking in my first thread, I hope this was a hoot.

 

[cornflower]

Sorry to be neggy but I wouldn’t even want to be in the most open of relationships with him, it was never just about his looks for me (which are fading fast anyway) and right now I’m finding him repulsive in every way*. I like Sasha a lot and I don’t know enough to judge but I just wouldn’t want to be associated with someone like him and people thinking I’m being mugged off constantly

*i reserve the right to end up making a complete u-turn on this statement when my brain is ruled by my lower half again in a couple of weeks

 

[333149O]

moaning here but I think the reason (as well as making all my pals here) that I’m most meh about getting the ick is because I find it really difficult to fancy anyone, I’m so weird and actually pretty scared of men in general. been single ages and to have a crush, albeit unrequited (I sound insane) was just really nice. I hope the ick passes and I get over it/myself but just feeling sad n out of sorts lately. I dunno it’s weird

 

[2busyshopping34]

hope the poo bag splits and he puts his bare hand in wet dog shite

sorry im a moody bitch today

 

[2busyshopping34]

just a reminder that we fancy this man

 

[cornflower]

 

[madamchristmas]

Spoiler: potentially gross dream

i had a dream about john stones. it was very brief, but basically we were in bed just cuddling and he was like oh i have a hole under my balls and i was like u wot. and he showed me he lifted up his ballsack and there was a literal hole where his semen was like leaking out of. and then i left.

 

[wonderstruck25]

I know this photo is suppose to be cute, but its just made me laugh.

She’s like a kardashian child being used to write a narrative and cover a scandal. Poor Skye, she is the child of a v dysfunctional family that’s for sure…

 

[Violetroselily]

Going to take you all up the Shard one day,

That means up rhe bym

 

[Violetroselily]

aww I totally get you, take a minute to decide if it's your gut or just an anxious response, I don't know if you get social anxiety at all. I have a mini nervous breakdown before nearly bloody every event post-covid but when I go I'm always glad for it. not sure how late you'll get home tonight but you can just power through with coffee and get an early night tomorrow, normally once you're up and out of bed you're not as tired as you expect. hope you're ok xxx

woke up feeling a bit down and then that feeling of dread in my stomach has just got worse all day and now I'm just like every 20 mins. It's not even anything to do with tonight, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I also really want a hug but have no one here to hug

I need to leave by 5ish and right now I'm not in any fit state to go out

 

[333149O]

Where did you get this?

dhgate omg are u gonna arrest me that sounded stern

 

[ruby1080]

What he needs is a woman like her who doesn't stand for any shite but he would run a mile.

Remember when he squirmed in his seat over Rihanna and said he’d like the feistiness? He’d fucking shit himself.

 

[wonderstruck25]

I’m fucking poll-ed out Darren.

 

[Starttheline]

Thread suggestion: Jack Grealish #79 Jack is off on a retreat, so Tattlers are deciding which snacks are elite

 

[Starttheline]

Spoiler

When I was pregnant, my RLF didn't cope well with the impending change. He was going out with work 'friends' and getting completely smashed and not getting home until 2/3am, which was very out of character.

One night, he didn't come home at all and I had to go and pick him up out of a gutter, heavily pregnant, at 4am. He had someone else's phone in his pocket and I checked his phone to try and piece together what had happened, and found some messages that knocked me sick (only saving grace was that he had been ignoring them, but still upsetting).

I told him the next morning that he either sorted his shit out, or it was over, and whilst he made that decision, I wanted him to move out for a week.

Safe to say, he sorted his shit out and cut ties with that group of people. I know he didn't cheat on me, but being in the state that he was, he wouldn't have known either way and that was bad enough.

This is what I struggle with, with JG and Sash. It is all so public. I was heartbroken when the above happened. I couldn't cope with that on the regular.

 

[VC10]