Dear sirs,
In view of ongoing negotiations regarding a possible transfer to Manchester City the tattle Jack Grealish thread would like to outline our own requirements in order to be in a position to support this move.
Key requirements are outlined below.
1) Manchester City will continue to accommodate and fully support Mr Grealish’s preference for wearing a kit at least two sizes smaller than his actual dress size.
2) Jack Grealish must be on the starting line up for each and every game to maximise his camera time.
3) We would require daily pitch training videos of Mr Grealish (minimum length 5 minutes) to be uploaded to a social media channel of your choice.
4) Gym session footage to be uploaded on a weekly basis (minimum 10 minutes, topless preferred, sweat required)
5) Bubbles machine to be in operation at the end of every home match.
6) Annual Manchester City calendar to feature Mr Grealish as December wearing nothing but a Santa hat strategically holding a footfall in front of his impressive private parts to hide his modesty.
7) Annual ‘meet and grope’ with Mr Grealish to be arranged with JG tattle thread members at a mutually convenient location (some thread members are elderly so wheelchair access and special assistance may be required).
8) Mr Grealish to complete the message to @RoseBush23 which he’s dithering over.
9) Thread members to be used as mascots for walk outs. (See note 7 regarding potential disabilities)
All of these points are non negotiable except point 6 whereby we would be willing to exclude the football from the shot if Jack was agreeable.
Unfortunately if these terms are not met we may be forced to withdraw our support which would leave Jack at the mercy of Tattle trolls on other threads. This would undoubtedly have a negative effect on his mental health and in turn be of great detriment to his football performance on the pitch.
We look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.
Best wishes,
JG Tattle thread
In view of ongoing negotiations regarding a possible transfer to Manchester City the tattle Jack Grealish thread would like to outline our own requirements in order to be in a position to support this move.
Key requirements are outlined below.
1) Manchester City will continue to accommodate and fully support Mr Grealish’s preference for wearing a kit at least two sizes smaller than his actual dress size.
2) Jack Grealish must be on the starting line up for each and every game to maximise his camera time.
3) We would require daily pitch training videos of Mr Grealish (minimum length 5 minutes) to be uploaded to a social media channel of your choice.
4) Gym session footage to be uploaded on a weekly basis (minimum 10 minutes, topless preferred, sweat required)
5) Bubbles machine to be in operation at the end of every home match.
6) Annual Manchester City calendar to feature Mr Grealish as December wearing nothing but a Santa hat strategically holding a footfall in front of his impressive private parts to hide his modesty.
7) Annual ‘meet and grope’ with Mr Grealish to be arranged with JG tattle thread members at a mutually convenient location (some thread members are elderly so wheelchair access and special assistance may be required).
8) Mr Grealish to complete the message to @RoseBush23 which he’s dithering over.
9) Thread members to be used as mascots for walk outs. (See note 7 regarding potential disabilities)
All of these points are non negotiable except point 6 whereby we would be willing to exclude the football from the shot if Jack was agreeable.
Unfortunately if these terms are not met we may be forced to withdraw our support which would leave Jack at the mercy of Tattle trolls on other threads. This would undoubtedly have a negative effect on his mental health and in turn be of great detriment to his football performance on the pitch.
We look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.
Best wishes,
JG Tattle thread
thanks to all the tattle detectives for keeping us up to date
