Additional recap:
- Jack pleased us all by returning the favour and get himself wet during the England training camp week
- Jack played a (peaky) blinder getting an assist and threading fab balls through against Hungary, and drank the tears of the racist bellends
- Jack made some of us lucky tattlers go weak at the knees at Wembley against Andorra
- Jack got shoved and pushed all over the pitch against Poland, poor boy
- It was Jack’s birthday and he rocked up to the Ivy in a yellow hoody and jeans to take a large bite into a chocolate cupcake and make us rage with jealousy at the cake itself
- Meanwhile Jack had to suffer a Dove-for-men-hued balloon wall rush job at home; Sasha dressed to the nines at the Ivy but Jack showing more love for Foden
- Jack got a whack in the face as Man City beat Leicester
- Jack had had a fairly sober weekend ahead of his first Champions League match on Weds
- We are all so horny for Jack we can’t function in the real world so we lose ourselves in inspired TikToks and cliffhanger fanfics
- Did I mention I was horny for Jack?
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