Jack the Librarian waits until Library User has gone, then turns to the camera.
Jack the Librarian: "Well, that happened...
...Did I mention I read 164 books last year? Yes, while some were out there living lives, I was living vicariously through fictional wives. Get yourself a guy who can do both.
164 books. Some were bangers, some were clangers. Some were top tier, some brought me to tears. But let me tell you all about those creme de la creme, primo-dreamo, would-definitely-swipe-right-on-them nuevo classics that you all have to read."
The library manager walks by and eyes Jack with confusion.
Library Manager: "...Who are you talking to?"
Jack the Librarian, undeterred by the intrusion of reality, continues his self-aggrandisement:
Jack the Librarian: First, I read "The waves" by Virginia Woolf. (holds up book) And, not going to lie, at first, I was all at sea with that one guys. See
what I did. Getit? "see what I did?"/ "sea what I did?" Anyway, I read that beauty - why would I lie about it? - and I was not
afraid of the big bad woolf.
Next, we have a Harry Styles' recommendation of: "My Muppet Christmas". And - no spoilers - there are muppets, there is
Christmas. Five star read. (mouths: I LOVE YOU HARRY into camera)
I also read this, big doorstep - "War and Peace". It's about a war, in Russia. There's this guy who goes to war. Then there's
peace. Not going to mention the characters, or the plot, or, really anything at all in the book, but I totally read it, in only a couple
of hours, because I am that clever, and Oxford was WRONG! (starts blubbing)