You should go and read some of the stuff on ''whats the most creepiest/scariest thing thats ever happened to you thread'', you will realise it is not your fault that some scumbag did that to you. There seem to be alot of disgusting men out there and its wrong... Hope you are ok xx
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@If you say so... this is heartbreaking and I hope (like everyone says) you manage to stop blaming yourself for the actions of a complete head. even though it was a long time ago I would also suggest going to some kind of therapy if you are able to . I also hope you left your friendship with those so called "friends"
no, still friends with them now. They don’t know what happened and I’m sure they didn’t expect it to happen to me that night. I had also been through a promiscuous phase before that holiday so even if I had told them it wouldn’t have really made sense if you know what I mean? They’d have just wondered why I didn’t want it with him when I’d been flirting with him and had slept around before. Difficult to explain myself properly but I hope that makes some sort of sense!
I agree,I’ve been in the position where I was a single mum,crap paid job,hours cut and no family support.I really struggled with no money for food or bills and baliffs at the door .Looking back I kinda wish I’d done what you have and had sex for money.
no I haven’t, it’s done now and I don’t think therapy would do anything. I didn’t tell my friends.
no, never told a soul. Like I said, I’d been flirting with him in the bar so
Flirting with someone does not make YOU responsible for being grape. Kissing, fondling and nearly going all the way before changing your mind and you're grape anyway is NOT your fault. The only one to blame is the despicable piece of tit who grape you. It doesn't matter how many people you have ducked in the past, NONE of that is relevant. He is a piece of tit. Big hugs.
Yeah I agree, as long as you are safe and responsible about it I don't get the shame around it tbh. Obviously this is a personal opinion and you do have to think how you will feel after (the same as some people don't like having one night stands etc) but I think I would find it less "demeaning" to working long hours for crap money with a boss who doesn't appreciate you/being shouted at my moronic members of the public etc
I go acsess to them when we both (extremely briefly)in the family home at the same time.Didnt say a word to her.she left her handbag alone and I pounced and grabbed them and the rest is history.
We are socialised to thinking we are responsible for men's abusive behaviour. I haven't ever stumbled on a site with men wringing their hands over raping and abusive women. Nor do we get that in any media. It's so sad and wrong that we blame ourselves for men's behaviour.
yeah and almost whenever you mention anything about grape /sexual assult to men the standard reply is "but what about the women who accuse men falsly of grape" , as if one thing somehow cancels out the other. The media are largely responsible for this imo
100% !there’s plenty of jobs that are socially accepted but employees are totally demoralised .I think it depends on the person wether sex work would be something emotionally they were able to handle .personally I do not associate sex with anything more than a physical act if I don’t already love the person so I think I could handle it emotionally
This is definitely up there with the cat litter post further up the threadWhen I was 21 my flat mate slept with a guy I was absolutely infatuated with, so I pissed in a Tupperware box and poured it in her ironI can’t believe I was so bleeping feral
I find things like getting pregnant deliberately behind a partners back reprehensible
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Yeah....me too. Was enjoying this thread until this tit.
I have been up since 4 reading this thread and I want to say thanks all who share their stories.
I’ve never said a lot of this out loud but here it goes.
I also feel this. I do worry I’ll end up alone. The last year has been pretty trying for me. I’ve often wondered if I died tomorrow would anyone care. There’s people I’ve thought we’re friends I’ve not heard from at all this year (I have tried) and during the summer BLM movement I’ve seen a lot of people I know opinions that have been terrifying as a woc. I’ve never acted on these feelings as I Keep thinking about how I don’t want to devastate my mum. We’re really close and she’s an amazing person but I consider it often weekly and I’ve looked into ways I could end it all. I recently wrote a plan that if my life is still the way it is next year before I turn 30 I’ll end it.
I have often said my feelings on dating in other threads. Often I joke but I realise I need to do change. Last year I found someone I thought was my person. He was the first person in my life (I’m 28 now but was 26 and he was 36) I’ve let near me in a sexual way. We didn’t go all the way but that night there was a lot of start/stopping. We didn’t discuss consent or what he was doing or what I liked or didn’t like. He knew it was my first time but I really just don’t know how I feel about that night still. I do also sometimes wonder if I went all the way perhaps he wouldn’t have he ghosted me. I look at / stalk his and his families social media on a daily basis and wish I could have been the one.
I have seen a lot of the girls his followed since we dated and I really do not compare so I’ve looked into cosmetic surgery and changing myself physically I guess in the tragic hope he’d actually want me.
I’ve never told anyone this but Looking back its actually funny and gross. I once couldn’t make to the toilet on time in secondary school and ended up wetting myself outside a building. I think I was year 7. I’m pretty sure lots of people saw as all the buildings look out onto each other. I then took my tights off when I finished and went bare legged for the rest of the day In winter
. Growing up my parents had a lot of financial difficulties. My dad was bullied out of work, dehumanised and racially abused by seniors at work. They really struggled to make ends meet and our house got repossessed. He won a pay out but by the time it came through the amount of bills gas, water, council tax etc. Took it all. We went to church at the time and my mum would try to not let me or my brother know what was happening but when I was in secondary school I was told by an adult that my parents cheque for my music lessons had bounced in front of a lot of people. I was 12 at the time and didn’t know what that meant. My mum used to buy swap shop uniform and I remember my jumper was supposed to be read but it was maybe orange at this time and a lot of children pointed it out every pe day but I couldn’t say why.
we also had bailiffs come and take a lot of our things even though at the time my dad had come to a financial agreement to pay when he could etc. They also took my mums car even though my dad was never on the lease for the car. We lived an hour away from my secondary school so getting there was really difficult And trains were so expensive. My mum developed alopecia during this time and I would always see her cry about it which was really hard as I didn’t know what some of these things meant.
Little memories like this still haunt me and I have come to realise it *might* be why I have a problem with shopping and hoarding (it might not be but hey who knows).
And wow I realise I’m pretty messed up writing all this.
I’m so sorry to read this. I think you’re so brave to come on here and share thisI have been up since 4 reading this thread and I want to say thanks all who share their stories.
I’ve never said a lot of this out loud but here it goes.
I also feel this. I do worry I’ll end up alone. The last year has been pretty trying for me. I’ve often wondered if I died tomorrow would anyone care. There’s people I’ve thought we’re friends I’ve not heard from at all this year (I have tried) and during the summer BLM movement I’ve seen a lot of people I know opinions that have been terrifying as a woc. I’ve never acted on these feelings as I Keep thinking about how I don’t want to devastate my mum. We’re really close and she’s an amazing person but I consider it often weekly and I’ve looked into ways I could end it all. I recently wrote a plan that if my life is still the way it is next year before I turn 30 I’ll end it.
I have often said my feelings on dating in other threads. Often I joke but I realise I need to do change. Last year I found someone I thought was my person. He was the first person in my life (I’m 28 now but was 26 and he was 36) I’ve let near me in a sexual way. We didn’t go all the way but that night there was a lot of start/stopping. We didn’t discuss consent or what he was doing or what I liked or didn’t like. He knew it was my first time but I really just don’t know how I feel about that night still. I do also sometimes wonder if I went all the way perhaps he wouldn’t have he ghosted me. I look at / stalk his and his families social media on a daily basis and wish I could have been the one.
I have seen a lot of the girls his followed since we dated and I really do not compare so I’ve looked into cosmetic surgery and changing myself physically I guess in the tragic hope he’d actually want me.
I’ve never told anyone this but Looking back its actually funny and gross. I once couldn’t make to the toilet on time in secondary school and ended up wetting myself outside a building. I think I was year 7. I’m pretty sure lots of people saw as all the buildings look out onto each other. I then took my tights off when I finished and went bare legged for the rest of the day In winter
Growing up my parents had a lot of financial difficulties. My dad was bullied out of work, dehumanised and racially abused by seniors at work. They really struggled to make ends meet and our house got repossessed. He won a pay out but by the time it came through the amount of bills gas, water, council tax etc. Took it all. We went to church at the time and my mum would try to not let me or my brother know what was happening but when I was in secondary school I was told by an adult that my parents cheque for my music lessons had bounced in front of a lot of people. I was 12 at the time and didn’t know what that meant. My mum used to buy swap shop uniform and I remember my jumper was supposed to be read but it was maybe orange at this time and a lot of children pointed it out every pe day but I couldn’t say why.
we also had bailiffs come and take a lot of our things even though at the time my dad had come to a financial agreement to pay when he could etc. They also took my mums car even though my dad was never on the lease for the car. We lived an hour away from my secondary school so getting there was really difficult And trains were so expensive. My mum developed alopecia during this time and I would always see her cry about it which was really hard as I didn’t know what some of these things meant.
Little memories like this still haunt me and I have come to realise it *might* be why I have a problem with shopping and hoarding (it might not be but hey who knows).
And wow I realise I’m pretty messed up writing all this.
You are good enough, never change yourself for someone else.
Sending you lots of hugs xxx
Never ever compare yourself to anyone on social media. (A lot of girls edit their photos anyway so they don’t even look like their pictures in real life)I have been up since 4 reading this thread and I want to say thanks all who share their stories.
I’ve never said a lot of this out loud but here it goes.
I also feel this. I do worry I’ll end up alone. The last year has been pretty trying for me. I’ve often wondered if I died tomorrow would anyone care. There’s people I’ve thought we’re friends I’ve not heard from at all this year (I have tried) and during the summer BLM movement I’ve seen a lot of people I know opinions that have been terrifying as a woc. I’ve never acted on these feelings as I Keep thinking about how I don’t want to devastate my mum. We’re really close and she’s an amazing person but I consider it often weekly and I’ve looked into ways I could end it all. I recently wrote a plan that if my life is still the way it is next year before I turn 30 I’ll end it.
I have often said my feelings on dating in other threads. Often I joke but I realise I need to do change. Last year I found someone I thought was my person. He was the first person in my life (I’m 28 now but was 26 and he was 36) I’ve let near me in a sexual way. We didn’t go all the way but that night there was a lot of start/stopping. We didn’t discuss consent or what he was doing or what I liked or didn’t like. He knew it was my first time but I really just don’t know how I feel about that night still. I do also sometimes wonder if I went all the way perhaps he wouldn’t have he ghosted me. I look at / stalk his and his families social media on a daily basis and wish I could have been the one.
I have seen a lot of the girls his followed since we dated and I really do not compare so I’ve looked into cosmetic surgery and changing myself physically I guess in the tragic hope he’d actually want me.
I’ve never told anyone this but Looking back its actually funny and gross. I once couldn’t make to the toilet on time in secondary school and ended up wetting myself outside a building. I think I was year 7. I’m pretty sure lots of people saw as all the buildings look out onto each other. I then took my tights off when I finished and went bare legged for the rest of the day In winter
Growing up my parents had a lot of financial difficulties. My dad was bullied out of work, dehumanised and racially abused by seniors at work. They really struggled to make ends meet and our house got repossessed. He won a pay out but by the time it came through the amount of bills gas, water, council tax etc. Took it all. We went to church at the time and my mum would try to not let me or my brother know what was happening but when I was in secondary school I was told by an adult that my parents cheque for my music lessons had bounced in front of a lot of people. I was 12 at the time and didn’t know what that meant. My mum used to buy swap shop uniform and I remember my jumper was supposed to be read but it was maybe orange at this time and a lot of children pointed it out every pe day but I couldn’t say why.
we also had bailiffs come and take a lot of our things even though at the time my dad had come to a financial agreement to pay when he could etc. They also took my mums car even though my dad was never on the lease for the car. We lived an hour away from my secondary school so getting there was really difficult And trains were so expensive. My mum developed alopecia during this time and I would always see her cry about it which was really hard as I didn’t know what some of these things meant.
Little memories like this still haunt me and I have come to realise it *might* be why I have a problem with shopping and hoarding (it might not be but hey who knows).
And wow I realise I’m pretty messed up writing all this.
Only get cosmetic surgery if it’s something you 100% want and impacts your mental health.
Ive also been there with the stalking of a guys social media, his friends, family, ex’s on a daily basis. Just block all his accounts - it will hurt but it will get easier in time.
You seem like such a strong and lovely person. Please hang in there. 2020 has been awful for most people. You are never alone
P.S. definitely cut off any racist “friends” too
My mother was an awful woman. She made my childhood a misery. Only child. My dad was lovely, he was my hero and my mum hated the relationship we had. Anyway at 16 she threw me out just because I’d met a guy (he became my husband and father of my 3 kids. After 18yrs we divorced as he cheated but hey ho). After I had my first daughter she got back in touch, my dad had been round a few times behind her back. We remained in contact, I had 2 more daughters but she became horrendous again and was using my girls this time to emotionally torment. So in 2000 I cut contact full stop. She screamed and abused my dad, he was old by this point and didn’t want the hassle so he stopped contact too. I understood tho
I found out in the paper my dad died in 2016 and I got upset. Neighbours said she’d driven him to it. He was nearly 90 tho so probably a mixture. But he had a good life insurance which she got, hid from the benefits folk and went on OAP cruises telling folk he was a stupid goat and she was glad he’d gone. Anyway in 2019 she died and left all the money to charity. Not even to her grandkids
I was contacted by a solicitor as the rule is different in Scotland. Even tho I’m not on her will, I was entitled to half by their laws. I thought long and hard about it then thought duck it, karma. Turns out she had nearly 30k squirrelled away in banks, at home etc (benefit fraud). Long story short benefits didn’t want anything, solicitor got their little bit, Charity got half and I got 13k.
Stick that mother you old cow. You thought I couldn’t touch your cash...but I did
I found out in the paper my dad died in 2016 and I got upset. Neighbours said she’d driven him to it. He was nearly 90 tho so probably a mixture. But he had a good life insurance which she got, hid from the benefits folk and went on OAP cruises telling folk he was a stupid goat and she was glad he’d gone. Anyway in 2019 she died and left all the money to charity. Not even to her grandkids
I was contacted by a solicitor as the rule is different in Scotland. Even tho I’m not on her will, I was entitled to half by their laws. I thought long and hard about it then thought duck it, karma. Turns out she had nearly 30k squirrelled away in banks, at home etc (benefit fraud). Long story short benefits didn’t want anything, solicitor got their little bit, Charity got half and I got 13k. Stick that mother you old cow. You thought I couldn’t touch your cash...but I did
Good for youMy mother was an awful woman. She made my childhood a misery. Only child. My dad was lovely, he was my hero and my mum hated the relationship we had. Anyway at 16 she threw me out just because I’d met a guy (he became my husband and father of my 3 kids. After 18yrs we divorced as he cheated but hey ho). After I had my first daughter she got back in touch, my dad had been round a few times behind her back. We remained in contact, I had 2 more daughters but she became horrendous again and was using my girls this time to emotionally torment. So in 2000 I cut contact full stop. She screamed and abused my dad, he was old by this point and didn’t want the hassle so he stopped contact too. I understood tho
I found out in the paper my dad died in 2016 and I got upset. Neighbours said she’d driven him to it. He was nearly 90 tho so probably a mixture. But he had a good life insurance which she got, hid from the benefits folk and went on OAP cruises telling folk he was a stupid goat and she was glad he’d gone. Anyway in 2019 she died and left all the money to charity. Not even to her grandkids
Stick that mother you old cow. You thought I couldn’t touch your cash...but I did
I completely sympathise with you - hugs
I get intrusive thoughts too and I’m sure I have OCD. Every so often I get awful thoughts about people I love and terrible events happening and I feel evil for thinking them in the first place. I’ve never told anyone in case they think I’m an awful person. They make me feel physically sick and like I’m going to cry. When it happens I go through a silly ritual in my head in an attempt to stop them coming true. I’ve never been diagnosed and I’m too nervous about going to the doctors because I wouldn’t know what to say, and Im worried that they wouldn’t believe me or couldn’t help. Hope you’re ok and that things get better for us soon xx
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As a teenager, i would chat with strangers in chat rooms with a fake "asl" just for fun, i just remember i enjoyed the "flirting".
When i was around 17, bbm (blackberry messenger) was a thing. Somehow i added (or got added by) an older guy, maybe mid to late 20s, and he kinda invited me to his house?! ofc i blocked him right away but this made me scared because he was in the same city as me and he knew my face from my profile picture. I think this is what made me stop chatting to strangers until a few months ago, i joined a forum (?) for learning french and this guy kept asking for my pix while i just wanted someone to practice with! instantly blocked as well.
I didn't tell anyone cuz it's just embarrassing.
When i was around 17, bbm (blackberry messenger) was a thing. Somehow i added (or got added by) an older guy, maybe mid to late 20s, and he kinda invited me to his house?! ofc i blocked him right away but this made me scared because he was in the same city as me and he knew my face from my profile picture. I think this is what made me stop chatting to strangers until a few months ago, i joined a forum (?) for learning french and this guy kept asking for my pix while i just wanted someone to practice with! instantly blocked as well.
I didn't tell anyone cuz it's just embarrassing.
When I was 10 I started going on chat rooms and talking to god knows who .Anyway I made friends with a girl who I think was about 12 and said she lived down south somewhere .We exchanged addresses and sent each other letters and photos ,she did actually appear to be who she said she was but I look back now and think wtaf was I doing giving out my address and sending off pics of me and my family to a stranger .I was just a very young child I suppose who couldn’t see the harm but how dangerous
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