I've never told anyone this...

[mochibean]

I have severe self hatred issues and have battled with low self esteem nearly all my life, I think it stems from my childhood and being bullied for most of it. It’s now so bad that from time to time I get anxious/panicked over the tiniest things like my body image, my boyfriend not replying to me or wanting time alone. My trust issues and abandonment issues are ginormous and it’s really hard to let go of them. I keep overthinking lately about imagining scenarios where my boyfriend is cheating on me. I feel so sensitive like a house made out of glass I feel like I could shatter at any moment. I feel so scared most the time and idk over what. I guess the fear of being left behind, of being abandoned. The crazy thing is I have no reason to even feel this way!! My boyfriend always shows me he loves me. But still I get these thoughts in my mind and I wish I knew how to let go of them.

I don't mean to worry you by saying this, but it is something I relate too a lot. I was bullied through school, suffer with abandonment and trust issues and I have borderline personality disorder. Severe fear of abandonment is a big symptom. It can be really hard to deal with worrying about being abandoned but you have to rationalise your thoughts and feelings.

I recommend seeking some support with this! It's impacting your life so much, (of course not saying you have BPD) but since I can relate to these feelings, getting some therapy and speaking to someone about how to deal with these issues are important. You shouldn't have to live in constant worry and suffer from low self esteem.

 

[Loveitme]

If I didn't have a child I would ignore Christmas totally. You do you! I hate the societal pressure and expectations on things like Christmas.

Same ,I could have written this myself .

Thanks

wish everyone thought like that! I get dirty looks from strangers when on dates and I’ve heard people calling me All sorts behind my back!

You do you ,hate that expression lol but in your case it’s true

 

[F the dust.]

Oh wow your last story is really disturbing. This child could have had autism, adhd or learning disabilities. If I’d have witnessed your actions you’d be straight on your face too you weirdo.

Exactly what I wanted to say! My son has autism and the world can be very scary and he lacks communication skills...we often have meltdown because of this. First time I've been really disgusted by a post on here.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

A couple more of mine ...

When I was 15 or so, my school put on Romeo and Juliet, and another girl and I were the last two up for the role of Juliet. She got it, and I was convinced the teacher had given her the role because he thought she was prettier and I was too weird to play Juliet. So I poured water into his desk and ruined his papers. There were no cameras etc. in the school, and they didn't know it was me or even which class the culprit was in. Yes, it was spiteful of me, I wouldn't do anything like this now. At the time I felt like I was being personally insulted - especially because the teacher then asked me to help out backstage. He was probably trying to make me feel involved because he knew I was upset, but at the time, I saw it as telling me I wasn't good enough to be put in front of an audience

My mother and I have bad blood with an uncle for various reasons. I don't know why - they had problems starting when they were younger, and as a child, he was deliberately mean and unpleasant to me because of her. About ten years ago this culminated in an argument where he phoned me on Valentine's Day to complain about something and we both got very nasty with each other. He was aggressive towards me, but I said some awful things I wouldn't even think of repeating to anyone else - from the generally profane ("I hope you burn in hell" etc.) to the fact I knew he'd cheated on his wife. This is especially bad because in our culture you are not supposed to be disrespectful to older members of the family and I could tell he was shocked I would dare to speak to him the way I did. He's started being nicer to my mother now but hasn't spoken to me since, and I am fine with that. He's still a bully and all-around horrible person. I want nothing to do with him.

When I was about 20 I made plans to run away to the USA with someone I'd met online. My father found out and stopped me going and I was angry with him for a long time. I knew why he was worried, but I was an adult and felt I had the right to do what I liked and that caused problems in our relationship for several years. In fairness, I've encountered quite a few people saying they "wouldn't let" their daughter, sister or even mother date / marry someone from abroad and my view is still that an adult has the right to do what she likes, no matter how unwise or dangerous her family thinks it is. Women aren't property

 

[Magee]

When I was 19, I’d booked to go to Glasto with my vegetarian mate. She was making a song and dance about all the food she had prepped and brought, judging me for my greasy double cheeseburger. Early one morning after a lot of boozing, I urgently needed to wee, shot up out my sleeping bag, fiddled about for what felt like a lifetime with the zips. Finally got out of the main bedroom compartment in the tent but could I get out to the toilet? Could I duck! Cracked open her Tupperware and pissed all over her cheese and branston pickle butties!