Ioan Gruffudd and Alice Evans #81 I'll never understand what I did wrong

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I think he knew she'd go nuclear once it was out there and keeping his new relationship under cover let him keep the contact with his kids. I still believe there's a lot more to come out yet and the lengths Alice has gone to stopping access. I believe it was always her intention to alienate the girls once she knew that he wasn’t ever going back to her.
BIB - agree, but what also bothers me is the more subtle PA damage she's shown the girls long before he left.
Her constant put downs, mocking him, no doubt counter parenting, ignoring his boundaries, etc.
What we have seen on her SM is just a fraction of what went on in that house.
The IG video posted recently of him watching football/rugby & she was hiding behind the door filming him.
One of the girls was with her as they were both whispering, making the daughter a part of it but hey it's just fun right?
That all sends a very clear message to the girls that ignoring/disrespecting daddy is okay.
The girls would have absorbed it all, at least on some level.
She's a bleeping disgrace of a parent.
 
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Imo, chances for full custody might be slim. Indeed the court does look at what is in the best interest of the children. The default position tends to be 50/50 Or joint custody unless the parent seeking full custody has presented to the court with solid evidence that the other party is an unfit parent, for example frequent negligence, present habit of substance abuse, endangering the lives of the kids. In the absence of these proof, the court usually decides that the kids’ best interest is to have both parents playing ample role in raising them. The court order will mandate custody terms that are binding and enforceable on and by both parents. If one doesnt toe the line, the other may file a non-compliant report to the court and seek the court to issue an order to compel the non-cooperating party to comply. Sadly, this is also how we come across some problematic parents getting joint custody and end up abusing the kids. Not that we are saying AE will abuse the kids. But the system can be quite forgiving on someone like her. At least this is the case in Asia (where I am at).
 
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I understand the situation Ioan is in. I also know what the girls are living through. All I am suggesting and have ever suggested is to make life easier for his children Ioan could have been more discrete regarding Bianca. He knows what Alice is like and how she would react and while I do agree that he shouldn't moderate his life according to his abuser's rules he knows that an 8-year-old and a 12-year-old are currently have their whole mindset molded by the person who abused him. He is in the lifeboat, his children are still in the water and if he can avoid making waves he should
I get what you are saying but he was keeping his relationship with B a secret until Alice called him and shouted her name down the phone. He then had no choice but to reveal it before she did.
Yet again, she did not stop to think of the consequences her actions would have on her children 🤬

BIB - agree, but what also bothers me is the more subtle PA damage she's shown the girls long before he left.
Her constant put downs, mocking him, no doubt counter parenting, ignoring his boundaries, etc.
What we have seen on her SM is just a fraction of what went on in that house.
The IG video posted recently of him watching football/rugby & she was hiding behind the door filming him.
One of the girls was with her as they were both whispering, making the daughter a part of it but hey it's just fun right?
That all sends a very clear message to the girls that ignoring/disrespecting daddy is okay.
The girls would have absorbed it all, at least on some level.
She's a bleeping disgrace of a parent.
That BIB has just given me chills. Seeing it written down somehow brought home just how bleeping horrible she is to not allow him any privacy in his own home. He was just a toy for her to play with 😡
 
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We should be grateful for Tone for Fucko.

It’s universal and can be deployed in many situations.

It feels a bit kinder than telling someone to duck off, it almost feels like an endearment. It can be used as a greeting or an insult.

Cockney- awright, Fucko, me old mucker.
Italian - hey, Fucko, whaddyathinkyadoing?
Scottish - ya Fucko numpty - this one coupled with a hard stare.
West Country UK - alright my Fucko.
Geordie - why aye canny Fucko.
Scouse - alright soft lad Fucko.
Parisian - mon Cherie, mon Fucko.

So many opportunities to deploy.

I left off

G’day Fucko
Howdy Fucko

can’t let the Aussie and US turds down
Don’t forget Hey Y’all Fuckos!
 
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I dont really think that this is how it should go, long term, anyway. Alice is their mom too. We must not do the same mistake as her and her psychos and act like one parent deserves to be erased. I definitely think joint custody should be still the target, but of course Alice wont ever change, so this whole thing is all easier said than done.

(I also doubt that he wants sole custody, he needs to work and dumping kids on relatives when they have a mom is not the best thing to do)
Also, and correct me if I’m wrong someone, but I do believe in the states and Canada that the grandparents have legal rights to access their grandkids. And for grandparents and aunts who have been denied repeatedly to see the girls, I don’t think it’s “dumping” on the relatives. I also included an nanny and other possible scenarios that all parents have to come up with to make it work. I also don’t think it’s a matter of what Ioan “wants” but rather what is in the best interests of the kids.
 
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Alice’s problem is that she has firmly out herself in the position of being at fault. Lots of fault. Added to her woes is that she has demonstrated that she cannot be trusted to act properly or to comply with court orders. Then there is the lack of insight and acceptance for her misbehaviour. And finally she has refused to consider Co parenting and gone straight to 100% custody. She has a lot of ladders to climb down and a lot of tests to pass.

it is just plane embarrassing to compare what she has done to Ioans exemplary behaviour. He has shown willing to Co parent, has been assertive and not aggressive, given her chance after chance and refused to be drawn into a slagging match.

As it stands Alice may be lucky to scrap supervised access and mandatory drug and alcohol testing. Edit, parental alienation is seen as a serious form of abuse. Sufficient to place conditions on access. Alice has a big problem when it comes to her being trusted with the children.

There is a positive future for those children if they get a break from Alice’s madness and a renewed taste of normality. Ioan can provide extended family support, a stable home, privacy and a willingness to Co parent.

Alice is most likely to scorch the earth again when she doesn’t get what she wants. She will flounce and refuse to see the children if it not on her terms.
 
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Hey, hey, turds -- thread moving quickly so be thinking
of some Thread Title Suggestions
 
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Sorry if this has been mentioned but her latest IG post from 2003 has an Alamy watermark all over it so hasn’t this just been lifted from the internet? How did she just ‘come across it’ when looking for something else? It looks to me like she is trying to find flattering pics of herself
 
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I get what you are saying but he was keeping his relationship with B a secret until Alice called him and shouted her name down the phone. He then had no choice but to reveal it before she did.
Yet again, she did not stop to think of the consequences her actions would have on her children 🤬
They live together. That took planning aside from Alice
 
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Also how much do you love that in the Ioan Online days the FM’s were called sea monkeys 😂
 
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That Emily account on Twitter has confirmed that someone has taken over her Id. She reported it to Tattle. That controversial poster was a usurper with nefarious intentions.
 
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I want to give a perspective on Alice being a narcissistic mother and Ioan's role/ actions, from my experience of having a narcissistic Mum myself.

Having a narcissistic Mum has had a lasting, detrimental psychological effect on me. My elder sibling was the golden child and I was not. Without going into details of the horrible way my Mum treated me, I'll just say that when I was about little E's age, on one of the rare occasions when my Mum was nice to me, I thought it could only be because I was dying. My Dad is generally a good man but he stood by and enabled her behaviour by not intervening and not telling her she was out of order. In some ways I wish he had left her and then fought to get at least joint custody of us, so that we could live in normality for at least some of the time. Instead I grew up in a house where we were all at the whim of my Mum's moods and to this day, it has taken a shed load of therapy for me to have some confidence and belief in me.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I am glad Ioan has left Alice and I pray that he gets custody of the kids so that they have experience of being cared for by a "normal" loving parent.
 
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That Emily account on Twitter has confirmed that someone has taken over her Id. She reported it to Tattle. That controversial poster was a usurper with nefarious intentions.
Desperate times calls for desperate measures 🍷🍷🍷 🙏🙏🙏🤔
 
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They live together. That took planning aside from Alice
I’m not sure I understand, we’ve no way of knowing when they decided to live together and this could have been arranged after Alice revealed she knew B’s identity. Until that point he may well have intended to keep his relationship a secret.
Regardless, his children have reacted the way they have because of Alice poisoning their minds. They didn’t need to be told anything more than their parents no longer love each other but will always love them. It is her who has terrified them by stating they will lose their home, their father has left them, they have no money etc etc. She has deliberately tried everything in her power to ruin their bond with Ioan. That’s all on her
 
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Ioan Gruffudd and Alice Evans thread #82: 2! 4! 6! 8! Ioan wants to bifurcate!
 
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I’m going to go back to Rutherford for a second without ANY inside details like I do here. She was with a dude who was not American and was on some type of visa. They split up right after the second baby was born. It became acrimonious. This is where it gets weird. He was technically breaking American immigration laws and she grassed him and he was deported. He was in fact breaking the law (though interesting to note the TRO I and B received makes reference to real or perceived immigration status) but she was the one who was held accountable for parental alienation and he was awarded temp custody abroad. Effectively two American born citizens were also deported. During a visitation to the states, two courts (NY and CA) said that they couldn’t rule on a matter as it was out of their jurisdiction. She withheld the kids for a few days and was stripped of any chance of ever getting ANY custody. She only has visitation and she has to travel overseas to make it happen. I’m not going to go into messy personal accusations (I don’t know enough) but the point the American judge made in the final ruling was that the father had demonstrated more willingness to co parent than the mother (based on her not returning the kids on time following a visitation) and was awarded 100%. I know Rutherford to be a working actress and I’m not too sure about substance abuse issues but none of that seems to factor in if there were. It was simply that the other parent was more willing to co parent. Apply that here to Alice and Ioan……in the same state, with the same threshold/criteria and case law to rely on….
The kids always had French citizenship as well, so to say "two American born citizens were also deported" is not really accurate. Yes, they have dual citizenship but if they had been made to stay in the US, the French could have easily said their citizens were "deported." It's a pretty complex case and more than one or the other parent willing to co-parent. The jurisdictional issues don't apply here.
 
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I want to give a perspective on Alice being a narcissistic mother and Ioan's role/ actions, from my experience of having a narcissistic Mum myself.

Having a narcissistic Mum has had a lasting, detrimental psychological effect on me. My elder sibling was the golden child and I was not. Without going into details of the horrible way my Mum treated me, I'll just say that when I was about little E's age, on one of the rare occasions when my Mum was nice to me, I thought it could only be because I was dying. My Dad is generally a good man but he stood by and enabled her behaviour by not intervening and not telling her she was out of order. In some ways I wish he had left her and then fought to get at least joint custody of us, so that we could live in normality for at least some of the time. Instead I grew up in a house where we were all at the whim of my Mum's moods and to this day, it has taken a shed load of therapy for me to have some confidence and belief in me.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I am glad Ioan has left Alice and I pray that he gets custody of the kids so that they have experience of being cared for by a "normal" loving parent.
I’m so sorry you had to live through that. I hope you now know your worth ❤
 
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