The other day I revisited the Hoarse Whisper/Alice 3 day Twitter drama, and despite trying to be careful, it triggered a lot of people here when I said in my opinion Ioan could and should have done more. I was quite reasonably asked what that might be and gave a couple of suggestions. That was when it devolved to the point where I took a break.
Some chose to interpret my replies as ‘victim blaming’, ‘IG hate’, me not understanding narcs, and me being an undercover FM. The danger was written off as typical Alice histrionics, and in one instance I was asked by a 19-day old account ‘are you a newbie?’.
it was my intention to open up the discussion, instead, I felt chased off. Though I do want to thank the person who said my post had given them some insight into past criticism of Ioan’s apparent lack of intervention and the person who framed their request for alternative action in a thoughtful, none combative way. I know who you are and you know who you are and I want you to know I appreciated that, I’m not naming names because I am fearful about you getting dragged into any incoming flack I might be getting.
A couple of people in the last thread suggested Alice ‘might kill the girls’. I have also seen that suggested in previous threads. She wouldn't and I have never posted that she might. For argument's sake, let's say she did follow through on her threats to kill herself, or that she accidentally O.D’ed on the pills and whisky that she was consuming. The children would be the ones to discover her. Perhaps in her inebriated state, she might decide to make a snack and forget to turn the gas or the stove off. That is what I meant by danger to the children.
I acknowledged that we didn’t know what Ioan was doing behind the scenes, but that whatever he had done the situation hasn’t changed. I acknowledged he was in an impossible situation. I didn't insult Ioan, and I never suggested he storm in and 'rescue the girls’.
Basically, the consensus here was that Ioan was doing everything he could legally, and 5150 hold, rehab, and CPS would result in the children entering the foster care system, which wouldn’t happen, btw.
I did some research into what alternatives were open to someone in Ioan’s situation. Technology is now being used in difficult divorces that she can be ordered to use or get the custody modified.
Court Orders and Modifications: Parents Drinking at Home | The Barrows Firm, P.C
'Soberlink is another effective professional alcohol monitoring system, not only for addiction recovery but also for
family law. The Soberlink includes a hand-held breathalyzer, tamper detection, and facial recognition technology that instantly reports the test results to whomever you have set to receive immediate Soberlink data reports. There are all-in-one cellular Soberlink devices as well as a Soberlink device that connects to a smartphone for data transmission.’
‘Judges are ready willing and able to order parents to use
Scram and
Soberlink alcohol monitoring devices'
How Can I Prove or Disprove Alcohol Abuse in Child Custody Cases?
''Negotiating the terms of a child custody agreement can be difficult. Unfortunately, throwing alcohol abuse into the mix can further complicate negotiations. The most pressing concern in this situation is that a parent who abuses alcohol may not be able to provide a safe environment for a child. Such claims may weigh heavily on a custody agreement because these agreements aim primarily to protect and maintain the best interests of the child. This means that proving or disproving alcohol abuse claims can be equivalent to a parent either losing or retaining child custody privileges.
'One of the better ways to help prove or disprove alcohol abuse claims in custody litigation is by using evidence collected by modern technology. Soberlink’s remote alcohol monitoring system avoids the pitfalls that traditional forms of alcohol monitoring fail to address. Unlike the EtG, Soberlink's wireless breathalyzers offer users a discrete and non-invasive way to measure sobriety. Equipped with facial recognition, tamper detection, and Advanced Reporting™, Soberlink devices allow users to submit scheduled tests with results sent in real-time.’
'Soberlink believes that parents struggling with alcohol abuse deserve to maintain a strong relationship with their child when possible to do so safely. At the same time, Soberlink also recognizes that is often in the best interest of a child to retain a healthy relationship with both parents after a divorce. With this in mind, Soberlink's system offers a way for parents to manage their sobriety successfully, thus providing a child with a safe environment while also establishing necessary safeguards.’
Feel free to disagree. Feel free to express why you don’t feel the above is possible. I like to think I can identify new users who don’t have the full picture, from those new users who are on an undercover mission. But there are some users on Tattle who are not prepared to entertain any criticism of Ioan, and insult those who suggest in a careful way that more could be done.