One day I would really love for Alice to read and take in the following points…..
1. You and Ioan agreed you would stay at home with the kids whilst he went out to work. That situation has now changed and you are unhappy as it’s not what you agreed. Alice,you are so lucky that you were given the opportunity to stay in a nice home,in a nice area,spend as much time as you wanted with your daughters and also have the luxury of a housekeeper. Some people can only dream of such luxury and will never ever live in those circumstances. Yours have now changed but instead of being negative about it,instead appreciate how lucky you were to be in that situation for so many years.
2. You now need to get a job. It’s not a bad thing. The girls are older and at school all day. A job will allow you independence and time with co workers which will be far healthier than sitting on the Internet raging at your ex husband all day. It will be difficult to get used to but being a parent isn’t easy! What will make things easier is acknowledging that Ioan should be sharing parental responsibilities which will lighten the load for you and not only allow you more time to work but also to meet a friend,grab a coffee,read a book.
3. This isn’t what you and Ioan agreed on. Unfortunately,things change. It’s very sad but marriages don’t always last. It’s ok to be sad but being constantly angry and bitter towards your ex isn’t healthy for anyone.
4. Your girls will be sad about leaving your home. Completely understandable. However,kids are resilient and generally adjust to a new home fairly quickly. It’s not harmful for kids moving to a new home but what is harmful is to have a parent taken away from them. They need their father far more than they need any house and to deny them of his presence is one of the cruelest things you can do. Pack a bag and send them off. If they moan,let them moan to him about it. Unless there are safeguarding concerns you will be doing them far better by allowing them to have their father’s presence in their lives. Whether their father’s partner is there or not is not your concern. Let them navigate that. Pack them up,have a bath,use a face mask,meet a friend and let them get on with it. They’ll still return after their scheduled time with him happy to see you and you’ll appreciate them even more having had the benefit of a break.
5. Private schooling. If he can’t afford it then he can’t afford it. He doesn’t appear to be that rich and money isn’t endless. Seems like he was under massive amounts of stress during his last shoot and maybe just maybe he’s entitled to a break now to let things settle now before he works again. Once again,not your issue. Get on with making your own life happy and healthy and don’t concern yourself with what your ex is doing. Same applies to the Gloria situation. I’m sure you and the girls can meet up with her and keep in touch,it doesn’t have to be a devastating end of the world scenario. Teach your girls to be able to deal with the difficulties life can bring without everything being a massive drama or tantrum.
6. The TRO and the Internet. There’s a lot to be said for someone who can acknowledged what they did wrong and learn from it. Your divorce is difficult and it seems like many women understand. However,make it a positive! Talk about the changes and learn from others who have already been in that situation. Stop discussing your ex and focus on how to make your own life better. You will 100% not move on whilst constantly referencing your ex,his partner or his family.
Sorry it’s so lengthy!
you can see how antagonistic and poisonous she is in everything she writes!!
thank you