Oh dear, this whole situation with Alice is very triggering for me. Sorry if I have been going off on one. I totally get her and where she is now emotionally and I hugely sympathize with her. I look back on me and I cringe and I kept it on the down-low other than venting to friends and family. Weirdly what Alice is going through is helping me process shit that I chose not to revisit so I wouldn't dismiss her speaking out. We are all talking about it and why shouldn't we? Perhaps we should think about why she is being shut down, why it makes people uncomfortable. I think this is a wider conversation about women becoming redundant that perhaps women who are younger don't even realize is a conversation
I don’t know if responding to this is worth my time?
it is actually ok and normal to be angry and devastated when your marriage ends. You will need to grieve. You will rant. You will cut him out of photos.
the ‘wider conversation’ as a mother of girls myself as to what is not ok in this scenario is as follows:
- Never speak to your children as if they are adults giving you therapy and validation
- don’t stay up all night drinking for a year on social media, so tired you can’t take your kids to school or function
- Never ask your kids to take sides, or say nasty things about people that might affect their emotional well-being
- never give up everything for a man however much you love him
- Make sure you have your own money, friends, hobbies and interests and are financially secure where possible
- do not become a distressed damsel. Women can fix toilets and we are not a stereotyped stepford wife
- destroying everything around you in a fit of rage and pain will have repercussions down the line that don’t matter to you now… but they will later
- being a massive bitch to other women on SM whilst claiming to be a feminist and wanting the best for women is a ridiculous claim and makes you look stupid
What is there to really talk about. Will people really stop cheating on each other? Will this change laws? Does this behaviour really drive any change in the behaviour or other humans? No. This isn’t BLM
She is talking about it a bit too much, and has veered over into being vindictive and encouraging a pile on. She is hurt and frightened but some of her activity online is full on abusive. So, even though I occasionally feel sorry for her, and I am not blinded by IG’s smile (think he is a cliche, middle aged man, woman 20 years younger, and I believe that the affair has been going on for a time before they split) I do think she squanders any good will towards her. I don’t think BW is a sweet innocent woman, she knew he was married, but she doesn’t have wrinkles and a fat neck so some people think she is just living her best life and she has done nothing wrong, although AE calling her horse teeth and encouraging online bullying is repulsive.
But your final sentence rings true. A lot of younger women do not realise just how much society puts a value on their youth, and despite it being 2021, a lot of females currency is about being young, looking young. Once that has gone women are supposed to put up, shut up, be invisible. Just the liberal scattering of the word Karen is a word designed to shut an older woman speaking. There are young women reading this who are thinking, this won’t happen to me, but it will. For all the advances that women have made with regard to equalities, it is still a man’s world. So there are elements of misogyny when people talk about AE. But she really is feeding into the misogyny herself. Speak out for sure, but don’t be so batshit crazy and nasty about it, in kind of feeds into a trope. The point is we don’t know what goes on in a marriage. They are both narcissistic in my view, they are performers after all. I think they deserve each other.
Women should be raising girls to know their worth without a man though shouldn’t they? I am now 40yo and I have always positioned myself to want (or often not
) a man, not need one. There is no way I would bring up my girls to even consider that their femininity is their currency. Their minds, personalities, intellects are their currency. Looks fade. But then I am not an actress and I have never needed to use my looks to find a job. I work in a predominantly female led industry and I am surrounded by fucking privileged white Karen’s all day sometimes. Women are their own worst damn enemy 9/10.
”, alluding to CP and then playing dumb like “Oh how could you possibly draw that conclusion 
”, asking people if they’re mentally challenged, just to name a few from an EXTENSIVE list. She’s actually abhorrent. 
millennial
