Sorry if this is a common question, but how do you know where to go to get a legit PDR Paintless Dent Repair person?
I went to one years ago (not for a Tesla) who came recommended and it looked like my 5 year old had done it when he was finished.
Hi everyone,
My husband walked out on me in January out of the blue after 19 years together and two kids. (11 and 9)
It came as a COMPLETE surprise. He became a bit moody and angry when the pandemic started (also couldn't stop washing his hands? I know we were all supposed to, but he would walk out of the bathroom and start panicking he hadn't washed them enough) Also both our jobs are non-essential, entertainment-related so neither of us has worked since then.
It got worse and worse and then suddenly in January he moved out suddenly, to sleep at a friend's house. he said it was better that way, not fighting. (We really WEREN'T fighting that much!) I thought ok fine but then out of nowhere he served me with a divorce petition and starting renting his own proper apartment, unfurnished (hence long-ish term) etc.
Since then we've tried Collaborative and have now moved on to Mediation. But I don't understand is his behavior. He is even angrier! He won't speak to me AT ALL, or look at me, or set foot in our house (his beloved house that we bought together in 2006 - and that as late as last Christmas he was still working on bits of). Worse, almost every day I get an email from my lawyer from his lawyer complaining about something. But really stupid things - something I phrased wrongly on OFW, or the fact that one of the kids didn't hand something in to school - (we're doing 50-50 so who's fault is that?)- or something he thinks I may have said to one of the kids. Half the time, this leads to a 'for this reason he may consider taking you to court in order to obtain 100% custody'.
My lawyer told me this morning "oh it's his lawyer. She's that type. Constantly looking for problems, whereas I got into divorce to solve them!" She may be right. But it's coming from him too though, cos this is his second lawyer.
My question: What does anyone think the problem is? He left ME. He doesn't have to speak to me or see me. He has his own life now. We're on the point of officially splitting the assets and we have a prenup so I don't think it's going to be too much of a surprise.
So why is he still so angry?
This is so incredibly helpful.
My therapist also suggested he may have a mental illness. His mother is an unbearable narc and his two siblings have never had relationships although they are in their 40s. He was 'the one that got away'. He is definitely on the narc scale, but until now his anger (and lies, oh the lies!) had never been directed at me.
Wow - she's on her 4th? I'm so new to this - hearing this can happen makes me feel less crazy. I'm so sorry!
I'm not sure about the kids. I believe they are safe but he gets into huge fights with them eve time they're with him and they call me in tears wanting to come home. He just shouts "it's MY TIME" at them a la Marriage Story. It doesn't really help..
Appreciate the 'don't take it personally' thing. It's hard not to get angry at all the little darts he throws, but to take everything seriously enough to know when to tell my lawyer to put her foot down.
Thank you!
Aren't they embarrassing?
IOan and Bianca actually called up Tony Evans and his wife Rachel and presented them with a list of about 50 tweets that Tony had made, mentioning Bristol and David Bowie... two subjects that are close to Alice's heart too.
Tamika (Bianca ) was convinced. SO they called Tony Evans and told him! He said (from what I've heard. "Guys, you've lost your minds. This IS me!"
He's a genuine asshole. he has neither the balls to admit what's happening or the kindness to explain he's fallen out of love with somebody.
Not quite.
A 'prop' can be anything. Real guns can be used as props, however you are right in saying they should never contain ammo.
Facsimile guns are also used as props in wider shots where experts are less likely to notice.
What's totally out of character is for an AD to declare a gun cold. It's not his/her job. The armorer should be there every time it is handled.
I know this pain! I broke my NC rule with my dad and his horrific, narcissist/ sadist wife when their 15 yo daughter (my stepsister) committed suicide inside their house. When I got the call I didn't even think. I just jumped into crisis mode and was booking flights and seeing how fast I could get there (we live on different continents) - I called him to say how sorry I was. Also to check details. Should I take my husband and daughter or not? What did we need to do/bring? How soon do you need us? Is there anything we can help arrange? When suddenly he said.. Uh.. we don't actually want you to come.'
What?
To the funeral. 'C' (wife) doesn't want you there.
I was more stunned than I've ever been. That sudden lump you get in your throat? Mine was a boulder.
Long story short. I went anyway. I flew 6,000 miles. (at 7 months pregnant!) It was probably, sadly, the last time I will ever see my Dad. But it was worth it to be able to share the grief with so many other family members who are normal, loving people, and needed me as much as I needed them.
Crazy anecdote: after the funeral we were invited back to 'their' house. (the house I actually grew up in but hey...) At one point I was sitting on the arm of my dad's favorite chair while he was sitting in it and showing me a photo or a website - I can't remember. It's a position I've taken up my entire life, in that exact chair, until my Mom died and he married the narc and I wasn't allowed back into my own home. All of a sudden, we realized the wife had stopped crying and was throwing him daggers from across the room. He jumped up in the air like a fire cracker had gone off, pushed me off and hurried out of the room saying he was going to put on some coffee.
She had just buried her only daughter. Literally hours previously. But it was more important at that particular moment to get me off the arm of my Dad's chair. I'll never forget it as long as I live.
Anon: in my state, moving out of the marital house makes it considerably more difficult to maintain possession of the house post-divorce, tho he would be entitled to 50% of the equity
I thought this too, but so far it hasn't come up. (I'm in CA) We're still stumbling over basics though so I'm still hopeful.
This!
When I first read some of the emails he had sent to his original (collaborative) lawyer I thought there must have been some mistake. The way he was talking about me - I've NEVER heard him say anything even remotely like that about me. That I was a neglectful mother etc. He'd always promised me that I was the best mother he'd ever met (He worked abroad for approximately 9 months of most years)
I'm still in shock about those emails. They still occasionally arrive via my new lawyer. "Your spouse is complaining about this". But I don't read them. We were together 20 years. He dropped this on my and now it turns out so much of our relationship was a lie? Too much to bear.
I thought about that today. There was a guy round to fix something with the drain pip outside outside and I said something random like "we've been having problems with this ever since we bought the house!"
And then I had to quickly excuse myself because I realized I was crying!
My STBX is doing the same to me and it drives me insane. Although we do have kids, so it makes it very difficult. Even when I have the kids and I send over a funny picture or something, I get nothing.
From my point of view it's upsetting and makes me more angry than I should be.
However I'm sure that it depends on the dynamic. If interacting at all is bad for you, then maybe you need a break.
oh and PS: My husband sends all his communication through a lawyer - at $500 a pop! Money that we actually need for college funds and the mortgage and you know - irrelevant stuff like that!
Crying reading these last words.
Exactly the same for me. Not only have I lost the most wonderful friend, man and lover, but I've gained the most evil enemy who tries every trick in the book to make me 'pay'. But for what? We're still only just starting mediation but I get calls every single day from my lawyer saying that his lawyer has called and he's upset about something I did or something I said. It's so ridiculous and excruciatingly painful.
I'm just sitting here now trying not to vomit. We were so happy. I still have been given no reason for what changed or why he suddenly fell out of love (there appears to be no affair).
As you say, it feels like they have died.
Wow I never thought of that!
I will ask, even so.
We did start my 11yo with therapy but it turned out the therapist was in the pocket (maybe not financially but in some way indebted) of my husband's very powerful lawyer!
She came back all upset saying she felt the woman was just trying to get her to say something bad about me. I did a search on this woman - a proper one. And found case after case on the internet where one of the parties had claimed she had been brought in to give a one-sided opinion, so to speak. unbelievable!
We are now looking for a therapist who my daughter will feel able to open up to after the shock. I would LOVE to do the family thing but I doubt he would. And even so - he's the world's best liar. About two weeks before he petitioned me he looked our (then) therapist in the eyes and said "the one thing I'll NEVER say is that she's a bad Mom. She's the most wonderful Mom ever"
Then literally the first letter from his lawyer contained a list of all the bad things I'd done with the kids! Lol!~
I totally understand. I have been there too. I have kids, so that's the only thing that stopped me, really.
Like you, I have had a lot of trauma in my life. Lost my mother and sister way too early, my father was a strange man and abandoned all his children eventually, and have lost so many people to suicide and senseless accidents.
He, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have lost anybody at all. Ever. except maybe his grandparents. (He is 45)
What kills me (no pun) is that when I had a down moment (which wasn't often, to be fair) he would always come and give me a huge hug and say "Well, you've got me, now. Forever. You don't have to worry about anything." In fact just last year we watched the Ricky Gervais British show "Afterlife" together (About a man whose wife dies and the aftermath) and he would get all teared up and tell me how he could never, ever survive without me.
I felt so loved. Such a blessed relief that finally - finally I had found somebody I could completely trust. Sometimes just waking up made me happy, even though we weren't immune to life's problems. Then.. this January, he walked out on us all of a sudden. I still don't know what happened, although he has filed fo divorce. it has become more and more acrimonious and now he is only talking to me through lawyers. The lawyers send threats about everything but the most startling one is that he may sue for full custody. And leave me completely on my own.
My head is still spinning to be honest.
I don't know why the main FMs bother at this stage.
.
