People are right to be concerned that Ella is at risk of growing up to become Alice 2.0 and it begs the question what turned Alice into Alice? We know her mother had mental health issues and father was distant.
NPD and BPD are disorders that take root, usually (not always), in early childhood when the child doesn’t get the safe and secure loving relationships with its parents that it needs.
I agree with all of you that Alice is abominable and her behaviour is vile. I do wonder where it started though. It strikes me that Alice, at her very core, has never grown beyond the wounded child. What caused her to develop as she did?
And if many here are empathetic to Ella and fear for what this whole situation could imprint on her future potentially disordered self, why the lack of empathy for Alice?
She has done terrible things to Ioan, Bianca, the children, family members etc and Ihope the court will put measures in place to try to mitigate, but I also hope somewhere along the line Alice gets some help because she isn’t a happy person, she never has been and her spoilt behaviour and thirst for compliments shows how insecure and vulnerable she really is.
She probably believes everyone will leave her. So far they have. It’s been justified, certainly, but this is her deepest fear, one she possibly has never acknowledged and maybe never will be able to swallow.
I think she is a terrible person but I do feel sorry for her for it.
There are many people that have turned out to be nasty despite the parents being perfectly nice people, and there are plenty of people that were raised by two horrible parents but have turned out fine. This is why I cant blame Alice's parents on how Alice has turned out (without knowing what they did, from Alice's story they appeared to lack boundaries, at least based on that house moving story) and why I don't think it's correct to blame the
complete extent of Ella's behavior on Alice. Of course Alice carries huge blame here (and Ioan does presumably to an small extent too for letting it happen while they were married, that laid the foundations, but again, hard to say without being there), but I dont think that every child would end up escalating as much as Ella has, there will be children that don't react with abuse towards innocent people, but likewise other children may escalate even worse under Alice's watch. There are a lot more factors involved that shape a human than just parenting.
I'd say Elsie is how the average child copes. Resisting the attempts of alienation for a long time, and then after this still capable to not be toxic (the text messages to her dad showed this, also the fact that on that fateful day Ioan opened his arms to hug her showed that at the time he believed that affection was normal between them). Sure, she had a break down (a Evans Trademark) and was hysterically laughing and what not, but these are the kind of things that I think are to be expected if you are under that enormous mental stress as a child (and on that particular day the pressure was particulary high as they were on a mission and had initially failed). Of course in the interest of fairness I think it's easier for her than for Ella, the older sibling always has more responsibilities. I reckon when Ella turns 18 (maybe already at 16 when teenagers become a lot more independent) the situation will change and Elsie will be the one that Alice will focus on. I am obviously not saying that she will then act out the same way as her sister, they seem to be completely different characters even before the divorce, but I would like to mention that regardless.
At the end of the day my point is that while it's right to feel for children, it is very important to not make excuses, because otherwise recovery will be impossible.
This guy did what Ioan should have done and left his entitled spoiled wife after 3 years. Poor Ioan was just too much of a nice guy.
The anonymous man, 30, from the US, shared his dilemma on Reddit 's Am I the A****** forum. Stock photo
www.dailymail.co.uk
tbh at least this woman suggested to not have daycare and at least save that money. Alice had two housekeepers while taking care of her kids instead!