Ioan Gruffudd & Alice Evans #207 The con was ruff, then she tried to drop the Gruff
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I don't think it would be misjudged, rather well-aimed lol. AE could do with some horse tranquiliser and Dupee is just the woman to administer it.
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I'm sure AE will be able to find people to give her the spanking she needs in jail. She oozes contempt for the legal system.
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Breaking! - further castings and details announced for the upcoming Netflix series. With thanks to @MrsDimSum for the newly announced Working Title!
(If anyone is talented enough to do an accompanying poster I would be eternally grateful!)
New Castings and updates in bold - the roles of Leon, Lupine, and 'Tone' have been recast with new actors.
(For reasons obvious to everyone who isn't Alice I've removed D&L)
Disclaimer - The casting of Alice is no disrespect to Maxine Peake who has been cast based on her talents as an actor which include her ability to play unlikable characters (e.g. Myra Hindley).
Disclaimer 2 - The role of Welp is played by an Actor who is considerably older than our own actual Welp. However as the part is non-speaking and the actor is not seen on screen this allowed artistic licence to be used here to cast someone who is the same level of Goddess-like awesomeness.
Modern Day
Ioan - Matthew Rhys
Bianca - Keri Russell
Papa G - Larry Lamb
Mama G - Alison Steadman
Alice - Maxine Peake
Tone - Paul Chuckle (Paul is especially looking forward to being able to use his famous Catchphrase 'To me, to you' again when sharing his Twitter login with SisterAlice) Disclaimer 3 - credit to the original Tattler who came up with the 'To me, to you gag'
Rach - Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
Panda Express Delivery Driver - Timothée Chalamet
Yoghurtland Cashier - Jennifer Lawrence
Leon Bennett - Rick Hoffman
Marie Lamolinara - Jennifer Coolidge
Anne Kiley - Kathy Najimy
Katherine Heersema - Bianca Wallace (Academy Award Winner)
Bernal Ojeda - Bob Odenkirk
Joseph Langlois - Gabriel Macht
Forensic Account (Langlois Family Law) - Patrick J Adams
Judge Josh - Tom Hanks
Elise Greenberg - Anne Hathaway
Dr Suzanne Dupee - Cate Blanchett
Mediator (Collaboration) - Dustin Hoffman
Gloria - J Lo
Lupine - David Bamber
Mother of Lupine - Kathy Bates
(The two characters above will star in an as yet untitled spin-off movie which will bring Lupine's story arc to a close)
Salad Cream Clive - Jack Nicholson
Random Tweeter whose tea is ruined when Mr Fantastic's Alcoholic ex-wife tries to start shite with him - David Tennant
Octogenarian Athlete Dr Gerald LeGagnoux - Robert Duvall
Resident's of the Beverley Hill's apartment block whose peace is disturbed - Héctor Elizondo, Eugene Levy, James Earl Jones, Joan Collins, and Shirley MacLaine
Alice's Literary Agent - Meryl Streep (After a series of increasingly deranged and unhinged pitches for book ideas Alice's Literary Agent also ultimately ends up filing her own RO against her)
Welp - The character of Welp is only seen as a silhouette and does not have a speaking part but will be played by Dame Judi Dench
Hiraeth - Reese Witherspoon
Iris Braydon - Natalie Portman
AE Dream Scene
After reading a text message from Yo stating that he has blocked her everywhere Alice goes on a Booze and Ambien rampage before falling asleep on the kitchen floor. Whilst asleep, Our Family Wizard comes to her in a dream to taunt her that he is going to dedicate his life to exposing her for the abuser she is.
Our Family Wizard will be played by Sir Ian McKellen
Noughties Flashback
(The flashback begins with Ioan arriving in an office and speaking with a Receptionist stating he is due to audition for 102 Dalmatians. She greets him warmly and asks him to take a seat before she turns on a personal radio player on her desk. The station is playing 'Mama Told Me Not To Come' by Tom Jones ominously foreshadowing what is about to happen')
Receptionist - Jessica Alba
Ioan - Taron Egerton
Alice - Maxine Peake
Oucassi - William Abadie
Yo's Childhood Flashback (Welsh Language with Optional Subtitles for everyone apart from Alice Evans)
Ioan - Sam Rhys (Son of Matthew Rhys)
Mama G - Ruth Jones
Papa G - Luke Evans
Final Scene - Somewhere in The Future
Future Alice - Kim Woodburn
Future Tone - Ozzy Osbourne
Alice is in the Bristol bedsit she now shares with Tone. She is watching TV having just heated a yellow stickered ready meal which is on her knee still in the plastic container.
The news comes on read by Fiona Bruce (Oh Huw, you would have been perfect here!) and cuts to footage at Buckingham Palace. There are then cameo (snigger) appearances from King Charles III and Ioan Gruffudd who is receiving a Knighthood from His Majesty the King. Alice throws her uneaten meal at the screen whilst loudly shrieking 'Adulterers!' over and over again. Tone them walks in from the kitchen utterly oblivious and holding the TV remote he has been attempting to operate the microwave with and ask Alice to help him make his tea.
The following people will play themselves - The Rat in the Prius, The Squirrel in the Bin, The Cheese String, Glenn Close, All 102 of the Dalmatians
Also introducing Bubba Bear and Emma as themselves in their break-out roles (Hopefully a literal break out in Emma's case)
Take a bow Kingseven.
The internet will not get any better than this today. Absolute Gold.
I can't wait to see this. I'm particularly looking forward to Gloria's part
Yeah, IG (and now BW) are the kids' whipping boys. That's what they have seen all their lives. I imagine life isn't much fun chez Evans with no outings and endless rants about I and B, so those kids will have a lot of frustrations that they can't express in their HAPPY HAPPY ALL THE TIME home.
This can be our secret call sign, just don your hats when you suspect a fellow Turd is around!Tits Akimbo Productions is now official! Grab a hat Turdles
Sea Turd Hags, get your Tits akimbo hats now, only $26 for two. Bargain!
I actually work in merchandising - feel a new product range coming on !
Wouldn't it be fab if we could have our own 'TitsAkimbo' merch and find a way of anonymously distributing it and any profits sent to @Hiraeth to cover document expenses
Wouldn't it be fab if we could have our own 'TitsAkimbo' merch and find a way of anonymously distributing it and any profits sent to @Hiraeth to cover document expenses
I deffo think someone needs to print this up on T-shirts and sell as merch. It’ll be a great way of recognising other turds out in RL. Obviously no conversation can take place, a simple salute to the other T-shirt wearer is enough. Maybe a snigger.Tits Akimbo Productions is now official! Grab a hat Turdles
I've gone with TitsAkimboo for the akimbo tit effect
This could be the logo then the back could have slogans such as
BLOCKED FUCKOS
UTTER UTTER DEFAMATION
MY BAYBEEZ
I LOVE BOGANS
SCREENSHATTED
DON'T KNOW IF IT'S PANCAKE TUESDAY OR SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY
This could be the logo then the back could have slogans such as
BLOCKED FUCKOS
UTTER UTTER DEFAMATION
MY BAYBEEZ
I LOVE BOGANS
SCREENSHATTED
DON'T KNOW IF IT'S PANCAKE TUESDAY OR SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY
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AEG: They don't want anything to do with him. That's all I've ever heard. I'm not giving any opinion on that and I CERTAINLY do not speak for Alice. But I do know they absolutely hate him. I don't blame them
She's really proud of being evil.
AEG: Yep. Those lies under oath are perjury. He can't gag his ex forever.
Oh yes he can LOL
AEG: Where are his kids? Back home. Seeing therapists and custody evaluators. Well done, #BiancaWallace! You showed them!
The therapists and custody evaluators are nothing to do with Mommy Dearest of course!!
AEG: #Ioangruffudd fans will not shut up about his cocaine abuse.
LOL someone's desperate to get dirt on IG.
AEG: It's just really odd to lie on your bio these days. Everything can be checked so easily. if she can lie about stuff like this, then how can you trust anything she says or does?
Lying like this "I hate bullies and domestic abusers even though I have a DVRO! PARODY ACCOUNT" She's honest about the DVRO though lol
AEG: Look at this pedalo exposing a minor. Wonder who it is? I think there are only two possibilities.
Let me guess? I and B??
AEG: I cannot believe @ioangruffudd is sending his kids to a KETAMINE clinic.
We can laugh but this is the tit she will tell the kids.
AEG: Exactly! This was at a point when she had had no communication with him for months. IG says he 'saw Alice trying to write something on Bianca's insta and so they had to post real quick" How the fcuk to you see somebody TRY to post a comment?
Too bad Tattle and IG got the receipts. Must try harder Alice!
AEG: Yep. This whole post is an FU to his kids. They have to attend therapy back in LA and his lawyer won't let them travel. He is posting this to get back at them. What a dude.
Because there is nowhere to take kids in the tiny state of CA lol
She's really proud of being evil.
AEG: Yep. Those lies under oath are perjury. He can't gag his ex forever.
Oh yes he can LOL
AEG: Where are his kids? Back home. Seeing therapists and custody evaluators. Well done, #BiancaWallace! You showed them!
The therapists and custody evaluators are nothing to do with Mommy Dearest of course!!
AEG: #Ioangruffudd fans will not shut up about his cocaine abuse.
LOL someone's desperate to get dirt on IG.
AEG: It's just really odd to lie on your bio these days. Everything can be checked so easily. if she can lie about stuff like this, then how can you trust anything she says or does?
Lying like this "I hate bullies and domestic abusers even though I have a DVRO! PARODY ACCOUNT" She's honest about the DVRO though lol
AEG: Look at this pedalo exposing a minor. Wonder who it is? I think there are only two possibilities.
Let me guess? I and B??
AEG: I cannot believe @ioangruffudd is sending his kids to a KETAMINE clinic.
We can laugh but this is the tit she will tell the kids.
AEG: Exactly! This was at a point when she had had no communication with him for months. IG says he 'saw Alice trying to write something on Bianca's insta and so they had to post real quick" How the fcuk to you see somebody TRY to post a comment?
Too bad Tattle and IG got the receipts. Must try harder Alice!
AEG: Yep. This whole post is an FU to his kids. They have to attend therapy back in LA and his lawyer won't let them travel. He is posting this to get back at them. What a dude.
Because there is nowhere to take kids in the tiny state of CA lol
Please not a hobby. We don't need more Handbags from Hell.
AE could make license plates? In jail, where she belongs. Also Gloria might regret helping out the Senora. I don't think this is a joke..
Sorry turds, did I miss the recent court documents? I can’t find them in the last couple threads or the wiki but I know @Hireath said they ordered them 
Lips need to be bigger, and red.I've gone with TitsAkimboo for the akimbo tit effect
View attachment 2403363
This could be the logo then the back could have slogans such as
BLOCKED FUCKOS
UTTER UTTER DEFAMATION
MY BAYBEEZ
I LOVE BOGANS
SCREENSHATTED
DON'T KNOW IF IT'S PANCAKE TUESDAY OR SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY
Alice's fans dont read court documents with by third parties verified numbers, they instead make them up. Figures
wow! It's really interesting how misinformed they are. Ioan and Alice were not living together for 9 months at that point
I've linked a interview from 2008 yesterday, it's very obvious that already at that point he was terrified of her
It's really tiresome that they keep asking when proof when the proof already exists
And no it's not "his word" but investigation by a third party. Alice = Liar
Abuse is FINE if I write a sentence that I overstepped (obviously to convince that judge that she changed, spoiler: she didnt). Spread the world! Release everyone from all prisons! Sometimes I wonder if they believe what they write
What should Ioan do? Since when should the victim apologize?
Awwww, minion thinks Ella needs a bit more coaching. Thanks for revealing Alice's plan
he didnt "admitted it" he said he was kept away from them, and provided tons of proof, something your hero never provides. I wonder why
wow! It's really interesting how misinformed they are. Ioan and Alice were not living together for 9 months at that point
I've linked a interview from 2008 yesterday, it's very obvious that already at that point he was terrified of her
It's really tiresome that they keep asking when proof when the proof already exists
And no it's not "his word" but investigation by a third party. Alice = Liar
Abuse is FINE if I write a sentence that I overstepped (obviously to convince that judge that she changed, spoiler: she didnt). Spread the world! Release everyone from all prisons! Sometimes I wonder if they believe what they write
What should Ioan do? Since when should the victim apologize?
Awwww, minion thinks Ella needs a bit more coaching. Thanks for revealing Alice's plan
he didnt "admitted it" he said he was kept away from them, and provided tons of proof, something your hero never provides. I wonder why
Maybe she's just practicing what she's going to say when questioned by the GAL, Ioan's counsel, her own counsel, the girls' therapists, the reunification therapist the custody evaluator and possibly the judge. That's a lot of stories to keep straight.
I make t-shirts. This’ll be my new one!Tits Akimbo Productions is now official! Grab a hat Turdles
And she's proved time and time again that she fails to do that, mad that she thinks she can keep this up.
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