I'm miserable

[watermelon sugar]

Please contact your GP office now - right now - and explain to them how low you feel abs that you need to see a Doctor as a matter of urgency. Don’t let the receptionist fob you off - but please tell them you are desperate and need help. You sound very low and I’m guessing depression is probably what’s going on. You can always talk to us on here of course but I think you need professional help xxxxx call them and let us know what they say xxxxx

Thank you, I rang them this morning and was number 7 in the queue for 40 minutes then gave up. I will ring them back, thanks for replying xx

 

[bolimepipi]

don't feel stupid or silly for ''moaning'' about this!
i think it's a very common situation to find yourself in where the other side doesn't realize how much work you are putting in just because they are the one ''officially working''. i am sorry to hear the conversation didn't go well, maybe he doesn't want to admit to himself that work is slow atm or that he kind of let you down! it's just a very difficult time in general, with covid and you're not sleeping and you're both on edge, it will get better

 

[watermelon sugar]

Bear with the Sertraline. You might feel worse in the short term. xx

Yeah she said it won't kick in till 4-6 weeks and I'll feel worse for a bit first

 

[Whaaaaat]

He's really good with the baby playing wise. He'll play with him for hours but it's when it's night time and nap time he gets frustrated if he doesn't get to sleep straight away
When he cries due to teething/this regression he goes through he gets really pissed off and stressed. Then that's when he moans about his sleep
Yesterday he took the baby for a walk while I hoovered up, babies scared of the hoover
He does the odd chore like brushing up but I have to repeatedly ask him
He's more of a got nothing to do- ill sit and chill and play on my phone type
He gets it from his Mum...

Honestly this feels so similar to me and my husband. As soon as things with our son get “tough” I always have to deal because he gets stressed and I don’t like my son feeling the tension. So if he’s going through a I like my dinner on the floor rather than my mouth phase my husband gets so stressed whereas I’m more like oh well, the dog will enjoy it.

This is why I said about going back to work because I think when you’re at home and they’re working, you feel an element of guilt about it, especially when you’ve always worked. When I returned to work I could say to my husband no, you’re going to have to help me and now I give him options. So do you want to clean the bathroom or mop the floors? Or sort washing or walk the dog etc. Same with through the night, I did last night it’s your turn tonight. Or I’ll say I’m going for a bath or whatever.

I honestly feel for you because it’s so tiring being a Mum, and the buck always stops with Mum unfortunately.

 

[Babyyoda88]

I really don’t know what to say which is suitable advice only that I wish I could give you a big hug and babysit your baby for a bit so you can sleep.
I’m not a parent so it must be so so hard especially now without any support. Please let us know how you get on

 

[BettyCrocker]

husband his addiction, alcohol, weed = why i feel like this

Leave him. Your life & your health should be your priority.

 

[BettyCrocker]

What did your partner say to you when you tried talking to him, if you don’t mind sharing? I’m keen to know what he thinks of the situation. Can I also ask how old you both are?

 

[watermelon sugar]

does he do anything at all around the house? Does he take any interest in your son at all - does he play with him, bath him, feed him?? Or does he literally go to work, come home and sit on his arse while you do everything? What was he like before the baby arrived? Did he do his share of household stuff then??

He's really good with the baby playing wise. He'll play with him for hours but it's when it's night time and nap time he gets frustrated if he doesn't get to sleep straight away
When he cries due to teething/this regression he goes through he gets really pissed off and stressed. Then that's when he moans about his sleep
Yesterday he took the baby for a walk while I hoovered up, babies scared of the hoover
He does the odd chore like brushing up but I have to repeatedly ask him
He's more of a got nothing to do- ill sit and chill and play on my phone type
He gets it from his Mum...

 

[watermelon sugar]

I am not a parent, so cannot give you any suitable advice.

All I will say is that I love your posts on here, whether they are funny or sad, and if anything I consider you a friend despite being a "stranger"

I am sure there will be any other people on here, far more qualified than myself, who will give you the support and advice you need. But all I will say is that we're with you every step of the way.

Love & warm wishes to you, your guy and your baby

Awww that made me well up that's so sweet to read

I always look out for your posts and I very much consider you a friend too!

I think I'm just extra emotional/pissed off today and needed the rant!!

Thank you
P.s I know things aren't great for you either, I hope things pick up soon too!!

 

[Flossy2019]

Hi everyone I rang my gp but was told to ring back at 8am... I said it was urgent and was feeling low and the receptionist was like 'there's a lot of urgencies right now' but yeah I have rang my HV and left a message. Hopefully she gets back to me, I like my HV

My boyfriend has took the baby out with the pram, luckily he can hobble well I've gone for a lie down. I probably should tidy up but ive got a stress headache and I'm tired

Thank you for all your lovely messages xx

Try mind matters you can self refer you don’t need to go through gp. I think anyway. Think it will be quicker for you. Hope you’re ok sending love. Men and baby’s are hard work sometimes

 

[Barbie2020]

Is anyone about for a chat? Sorry to drag an old thread up again but I'm feeling shit and don't know what to do or who to talk to

I just feel so stressed and miserable all the time. I'm constantly on edge. I feel anxious about absolutely everything. I come on here and try to be funny but I feel like I'm living a lie putting on a happy face all the time. I'm so unhappy

A few weeks ago it was because me and my boyfriend weren't getting on, we're better, he is still annoying but it's just everything getting me down. He suggested I have post natal depression. I did think that when the baby was first born but I got fobbed off because it was the start of covid. I dont think the situation with everything going on helps either

Meh

I suffer with depression and it can get out of control if you don’t get proper help. Phone your doctor and tell them honestly how you feel. I’ve had mainly positive experiences with discussing depression with GPS and they can help. There is IAPT online (I think they must have it in all parts of the country) you can refer yourself for CBT which helps you change the way you think about things and also lots of coping mechanisms on their etc.

If it is any type of depression I just want to let you know it does get better and you won’t feel fed up forever. I find chatting to people on here is a great way of talking to other people and not feeling shut off if friends/family aren’t being particularly caring or helpful.

Sending lots of love your way and always talk on here no matter how fed up you are cos there will always be somebody who wants to help you

 

[2020two]

No advice but my 11 month old twins are also mini assholes about going to bed. I am absolutely exhausted. Just letting you know you're not alone! Sleep when the baby sleeps still applies!! All 3 of us have a mid morning nap in my house

 

[watermelon sugar]

Side idea, if he's sleeping a lot could he be depressed?

Idk tbh

He's always slept this much! And he's very much 'I dont believe in depression'. He's always just been a deep sleeper, enjoys his sleep and always has lie ins. I just feel like he hasn't changed much since having the baby

 

[Pinkblush]

I do have kids but I can't imagine what it must be like being a first time mum in a lockdown situation. It must be so incredibly difficult for you and the baby. You and your baby are missing out on interacting with other mums and babies and being out and about in the hustle and bustle of the local community, which must be so hard.
I'm so rubbish at relationship advice but as long as you know you have people here who you can confide in and sound off too, for what its worth.
#wecare

 

[Pinkblush]

Thanks so much!

I feel so stupid moaning about being tired and complaining that my boyfriend has more sleep than me but it's the whole lockdown situation getting to me too. My poor little boy hasn't met his whole family, he has cousins that forget he exists he's spent his whole life cooped up basically and it's horrible!

Its not moaning, you simply have concerns and they are valid concerns

 

[DCICassieStuart]

@watermelon sugar, I'm just seeing your updates now. Tried to PM you, but it won't let me. I'm glad to managed to get to talk to someone and get the Sertraline prescription.

How are you feeling now?

 

[Mulholland Drive]

If I could PM you I would, but it seems that I can't. But I'm sure you will get through this - you're a strong young woman overwhelmed by being a new mum and having to come to terms with this dreadful pandemic and constant lockdowns.

If you can afford it, I think you need some "me time". You need to pamper yourself, and I would personally recommend an Indian Head Massage, and perhaps some reflexology , or just a simple body massage, just to cleanse your mind and body of the various tensions going on inside you.


(I'll gladly volunteer with the body massage, )

 

[Babyyoda88]

Thank you! It's so just hard sometimes. I know there are worse things going on in the world than a baby not sleeping. But it just got me down and I needed to vent!

I've moved away to live with my boyfriend and I just miss my family and friends! If I were closer to my Mum I could have had her as my support bubble i just feel so alone & tired haha

I feel better for posting on here though and having such kind words back! I love Tattle x

There’s nothing worse than being over tired and you’re a newish mum who’s had to do all this during lock down (not the mention being away from your family and further support) if it isn’t hard enough for new mums as it is. I hope your chat will your partner goes well! X x

 

[Misbehaving]

Being in lockdown is shit.
I can only speak for my partber but he's so shit around the house, can't cook or clean to save his life.
Having kids can be shit.
Lack of sleep is shit.

All of these will pass. One day you baby will stop being a pain and sleep all night.
We will be out of lockdown so you can go and see you family.
Your partner might never cook you a meal or clean the house.

Try and get out for a walk once a day. I always have a 15 min mad clean whilst the babies eating her dinner secure in her high chair.
Get some washing in and dishwasher loaded before bed. Make you partner sort it before work. (Empty dishwasher pop clothes in dryer).

You've got this DM me if needed, I felt like I was at breaking point on NYE id have enough of the kids and my partner. Now wouldnt say I feel fantastic but I feel alot better

My kids can still be ass holes and my partners still abit useless

I will second this!!
Lockdown is tough i've read so many posts recently (including my own) where women are having a really hard time of it.
What with strain on relationships (including family members) a strain placed on income and finances, health worries and concerns ?anxiety over the future if you add to this mix toddlers or babies right now we've never had it so bad!!
Lockdown closed in on ourselves men seem to be feeling restless and trapped (well mine does like a tiger prowling its cage!) women are having to pick up the pieces settle and soothe everything keep things ticking over provide normality in the middle of a pandemic where we literally don't know what will happen next.
Honestly with or without kids we are all having to face battles that we never thought we would have to?
We are all being challenged and pushed and pulled in several different directions we are all having moments of doubt and thinking did i do the right thing or not?
Its times of high stress as the new norm and i think considering everything we are doing well under the circumstances.
We all need to big ourselves up and praise ourselves and remind ourselves that we are doing our best and not to be hard on ourseves when we slip up or do or say the wrong thing, because what is the right thing right now is to take care of ourselves?
Thats never been more important than right now.

 

[Lulu Goss]

I don’t have kids (yet - we’re TTC) but my partner is the same as yours when it comes to sleeping in late and the housework. He’ll happily walk past a pile of washing that needs to go in the machine, or a sink full of dishes, without doing anything about it until I ask. Its like he doesn’t even see it, whereas I like the house to be kept clean and tidy. It’s partly laziness and partly because he was used to his mum doing everything at home so it doesn’t even occur to him! He doesn’t start work until 10am on a weekday and at weekends he’d easily sleep in til midday if I didn’t wake him up. I keep reminding him that when we do have a baby, that won’t be a thing anymore!

I’ve got to the point before where I’ve sat him down and told him he needs to help out more because this is both of our house and I’m not a cleaner (or his mum!). He was defensive about it at first but he did start to do more. I do have to ask/remind him to do stuff still but I don’t think that’ll ever change.

With your situation, you definitely deserve way more of a break than you’re getting. And like you said, saying “that’s what happens when you have a baby” should apply to both people! He wants to chill out after work? Tough, you want to chill out when he gets home and you’ve looked after the baby all day.

Maybe you could try suggesting alternate nights to get baby to sleep? That way you both get a break and it might take some of the (completely justified) resentment out of the situation.

Hope things get better for you x