I'm miserable

[Kim Mild]

@watermelon sugar I could have written most of this myself. I'll come back to this thread when I have more time to comment.

 

[watermelon sugar]

I do have kids but I can't imagine what it must be like being a first time mum in a lockdown situation. It must be so incredibly difficult for you and the baby. You and your baby are missing out on interacting with other mums and babies and being out and about in the hustle and bustle of the local community, which must be so hard.
I'm so rubbish at relationship advice but as long as you know you have people here who you can confide in and sound off too, for what its worth.
#wecare

Thanks so much!

I feel so stupid moaning about being tired and complaining that my boyfriend has more sleep than me but it's the whole lockdown situation getting to me too. My poor little boy hasn't met his whole family, he has cousins that forget he exists he's spent his whole life cooped up basically and it's horrible!

 

[DCICassieStuart]

I'm feeling a lot better, baby has been a bit better with his sleep but I dont wanna jinx it my fella broke his ankle this morning the wally so it's like I've got 2 kids atm

Oh I don't believe it! That's the last thing you needed. You poor thing

 

[BettyCrocker]

Hun I have felt exactly like that in the past, I didn't want to die but I wanted the pain to stop. It is an awful feeling and you feel like there it will never change, or get better but I promise, it does get better. Dark times don't last. Make an appointment with your GP as soon as you can. Try speaking with your partner, tell him how you feel and what his addiction is doing to you too mentally. See if he will be willing to get help but put your mental health first here because you can not help someone else fully until you help yourself. x

An addict will never put anyone or anything above their addiction. It’s futile to even try or expect him to do so - he has a illness that he needs help for but that’s his problem, his issue to sort out. This lady needs to put herself first and put her health first.
Annie do you have any trusted friends or family you can seek help from?

 

[watermelon sugar]

@watermelon sugar how are you? Wanted to ask on Q&A thread, but didn't want to derail

I'm doing a lot better tbh. My mood hasn't been as bad as it was earlier in the week and I'm feeling a bit more positive xx

 

[watermelon sugar]

@watermelon sugar, I'm just seeing your updates now. Tried to PM you, but it won't let me. I'm glad to managed to get to talk to someone and get the Sertraline prescription.

How are you feeling now?

I don't think i can send private messages cos of my warnings! I'm okay, still a bit down but nowhere near as bad as yesterday. I went to get my prescription before and was good to get out and get some fresh air. Says take in the morning so will start them tomorrow. Hopefully my mood picks up xx

 

[Raininvain]

Thank you, I rang them this morning and was number 7 in the queue for 40 minutes then gave up. I will ring them back, thanks for replying xx

Can you talk a walk to the Drs and slip a letter through the door asking for the Dr to ring you asap?
I hope your boyfriend is stepping up his game a bit more now.

 

[Raininvain]

Annie ring your G.P and contact Al anon, they are for family and friends of alcoholics etc.
You also need to give serious thought to leaving him, no matter how difficult. Why should your life be ruined by him?. Talk to him, if change isn't forthcoming you need to leave him. Full stop.

 

[DCICassieStuart]

Aw @watermelon sugar, I'm just seeing all this now. I swear sometimes I think we'd all be better off single How are you feeling now?

 

[Saddlesoap]

I'm taking a year off for maternity leave so I go back in March! But I'm wfh if things haven't gone back to normal by then

Yeah I try to go for a walk everyday with the pram! I love getting out and having fresh air

I can see why he is tired - he does work a fair bit when he is in. Hes not in as much due to covid but when he is he works 7am-5pm. But he has a good few days off a week and everytime hes off he falls asleep early on the couch and has lie ins till 10/11am not to make it all about me but I get up every night through the night with the baby then get up at 5.30/6am with him everyday!

That's not cool. It pisses me off enough that my husband sleeps in til 10/11 at weekends.

I do 10 hour days and it's not that bad. I can still do stuff when I get home.

I think get some sleep and try and have another conversation in the morning. At the end of the day, the baby is his child as well. Maybe you just need to be ruthless and say you're going out and leave them together for a few hours (go and sleep somewhere in your car if you need to?!)

 

[BettyCrocker]

Is anyone about for a chat? Sorry to drag an old thread up again but I'm feeling shit and don't know what to do or who to talk to

I just feel so stressed and miserable all the time. I'm constantly on edge. I feel anxious about absolutely everything. I come on here and try to be funny but I feel like I'm living a lie putting on a happy face all the time. I'm so unhappy

A few weeks ago it was because me and my boyfriend weren't getting on, we're better, he is still annoying but it's just everything getting me down. He suggested I have post natal depression. I did think that when the baby was first born but I got fobbed off because it was the start of covid. I dont think the situation with everything going on helps either

Meh

Please contact your GP office now - right now - and explain to them how low you feel abs that you need to see a Doctor as a matter of urgency. Don’t let the receptionist fob you off - but please tell them you are desperate and need help. You sound very low and I’m guessing depression is probably what’s going on. You can always talk to us on here of course but I think you need professional help xxxxx call them and let us know what they say xxxxx

 

[Titntat]

I will second this!!
Lockdown is tough i've read so many posts recently (including my own) where women are having a really hard time of it.
What with strain on relationships (including family members) a strain placed on income and finances, health worries and concerns ?anxiety over the future if you add to this mix toddlers or babies right now we've never had it so bad!!
Lockdown closed in on ourselves men seem to be feeling restless and trapped (well mine does like a tiger prowling its cage!) women are having to pick up the pieces settle and soothe everything keep things ticking over provide normality in the middle of a pandemic where we literally don't know what will happen next.
Honestly with or without kids we are all having to face battles that we never thought we would have to?
We are all being challenged and pushed and pulled in several different directions we are all having moments of doubt and thinking did i do the right thing or not?
Its times of high stress as the new norm and i think considering everything we are doing well under the circumstances.
We all need to big ourselves up and praise ourselves and remind ourselves that we are doing our best and not to be hard on ourseves when we slip up or do or say the wrong thing, because what is the right thing right now is to take care of ourselves?
Thats never been more important than right now.

Couldn't agree more. My job is a pretty laid back job i'm currently of fourlough. 18m old and home schooling a 6 year old. I used to gave an hour or two in the afternoon when my baby had a nap, this has not been turned into home schooling time. Get me back to bloody work.

Regaurding my partner not being very domesticated i like a tidy house, nice healthy food for tea, clean ironed clothes pjs. When I have too much washing in the basket or the house is a mess it makes me feel anxious (not even about covid germs just in gereral)

He wouldn't be bothered if if came back to an absolute shit hole, ordered a take away and put his work clothes in the wash once a week. He does do things when I ask but he's not very pro active when it comes to house work.

I honestly think alot of people are stuck in a rut waiting for this absolute shit show to be over (I know I am). Big love to everyone feeling the same

 

[Annie101]

i dont want to die, but i no longer want to breath

 

[BettyCrocker]

Hi everyone I rang my gp but was told to ring back at 8am... I said it was urgent and was feeling low and the receptionist was like 'there's a lot of urgencies right now' but yeah I have rang my HV and left a message. Hopefully she gets back to me, I like my HV

My boyfriend has took the baby out with the pram, luckily he can hobble well I've gone for a lie down. I probably should tidy up but ive got a stress headache and I'm tired

Thank you for all your lovely messages xx

Fuck the tidying up. It can wait. Rest, relax, look after yourself and when you phone the GP tomorrow morning tell them you are feeling mentally unstable and need urgent help from a Doctor. Xxxx

 

[Tree_]

Oh love. Your fella is being out of order. Looking after a baby is a full time job and you're doing everything else on top. This hideous sleeping will pass. Give yourself a break in the evening instead of trying to wrestle him to sleep just sit him on the floor with some toys or put peppa or night garden on or something. You can always chill on your phone too. His routine is fucked anyway durijg a sleep regression. Totally bit your fault btw. In the day if it gets tough pop him in the buggy and go for a walk. Even if the weather is shit he might still sleep. I find getting out is a good reset. Both of mine were shit sleepers until 18 months so I've been through it. My baby had me up every hour last night and then awake for the day at 5. She's such a dick haha

 

[Gimmethegossipgirl]

Aw I feel for you it’s so hard sometimes from the lack of sleep - I wish I could give you some amazing advice bout sadly my 3 year old is still a terrible sleeper and so usually ends up in our bed

my husband and I used to have similar arguments when our little one was a baby. He’d be tired from work and tired from not sleep and didn’t realise that it’s hard work for me too.

Luckily after about “109 discussions” we came to some compromises. He started doing the bath time routine which he found he enjoyed and although he wasn’t much help for nap time (she’s always fought sleep) he did make dinner most nights.

We still lock horns sometimes now especially as we both work full time especially when we’re tired, work is hectic (both keyworkers) child is whinging/throwing a tantrum but do our best to try and work through it.

try talking to your partner again if you can and see if he can at least help with something as your self care is important. I hate this quote but it’s tru that “you can’t pour from an empty cup”

sorry for essay! Xx

 

[WilmaHun]

i dont want to die, but i no longer want to breath

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way. If you are feeling this severely down then please make urgent contact with your GP!

 

[bla bla bla]

10-12 months is a rough time. Your baby is probably learning loads, babbling, possibly trying to walk etc.

My first was terrible. He woke up 3 times a night and was up for the day at 5am. Then before his 1st birthday he started sleeping through the night.

Try not to cut out naps but expect that they might not be as long. Can you take him out a walk to get him to sleep? I find that it saves the battles.

It’s such a cliche but it is a phase and he will come out of it.

Most people say leave the chores but I’d say do what you can. A messy house can be quite triggering. Have a gentle word with your other half and try and get him to do what he can. Loading the washing machine or dish washer? Making you both a meal?

Now if I only had some pearls of wisdom to get my own baby to sleep....

 

[Mulholland Drive]

Plus, the month of January is traditionally quite a depressing month for a lot of people, myself including. With the mania of Christmas and New Year out of the way, what we're left with is the cold month of January, which really doesn't help lift people's moods.

Get to February, and things become a little better. And by March the clocks go forward and we start to see the early stages of Spring, and lighter/warmer mornings & evenings.

It all helps psychologically even if we're still in lockdown by then.

Try to think of the positives no matter how small or insignificant - glass is always half-full, and all that .

 

[watermelon sugar]

Thank you for your messages everyone

Had a slightly better afternoon and feel a bit better

Just got baby to sleep pretty easy. Hoping he's not awake for hours through the night

Gonna talk to my partner over tea now and say he needs to buck his ideas up because I'm not happy

And yes @Mulholland Drive ill take the body massage!